HIPSTER RUNOFF

Photo by thecobrasnake

Dear Rich Old Cool Dude Whose House We Partied At Last Night,

Let me first start out by saying you are one of the chillest bros I have ever met in my life. Even though u r twice my age, you might actually be twice as chill as me. You are one of the main inspirations in my life, proving that you can get rich quick off some gimmick, then spend the rest of your life chilling, partying, and doing rich people stuff.

Your house is beautiful. So much space for partying, great location, great views, and since it is located on acreage, we were safe from any threat of the cops busting the party. Even if the police came, you probably would have invited them to chill & party with us--that's just how chill of a bro u r. I have never attended such a chill party with tons of alcohol, marijuana, recreational hallucinogens, blow, kush, hookah bar access, and even a sex dungeon that I wandered into late in the night.

I was also impressed with your selection of food. A wide range of dips including spinach artichoke, 3 types of homemade hummus, queso, goat cheese, 5 types of salsa, guac, and even a fajita bar (before it ran out). Also...let's just say "the brownies were delish ;-P [via WEED]." Your Costco Membership seems like it really came in handy last night.

You are more than just another Cool Dad. Cool dads are trying so hard to tell u that their lives' are meaningful just because they had a kid and are forced working middleclass/uppermiddle class boring/creative jobs. I'm not sure whether or not you have a kid, but if you did, it would probably be a chill lil bro, and wouldn't be a big deal. You will still be open to throwing huge ass parties at your house where random people come to drain your resources. You might not have many real friends, but you can surround yourself with young people who are more than willing to make you feel young forever. If I could stay young forever, Lord knows I would be your bro in the long run.

I have been to a few house parties at 'rich peoples' houses, but it is usually the 'parents out of town thing', and either there is nothing to drink/smoke/eat, or the spoiled rich kid is trying to kick every1 out the entire night. Your house was the exact opposite. A chill, homely environment was created where no1 was 'going too crazy', but at the same time, every1 was 'chilling hard.' It was truly the 'Golden Corral of hardcore drug use' because of your generosity.

Please feel free to give me some tips on 'how to get rich' and find a career that allows you to chill mad hard. I heard rumors that you made your fortune when you started a _____________ company. I wouldn't mind a work hard + party hard + chill hard lifestyle, just as long as I could 'go big' OnDemand like you do.

The night was so memorable. Your house is so 'palatial' but also has some really positive modern design elements. We almost got in trouble when we were exploring your huge house, then you came up to us and pretended to be angry at us, holding a gun to my head. But then you 'lost your shit' laughing when you saw how scared I was. We all shared some nervous laughter, and then huffed some freon together. When I woke up from my blackout, I was laying in your bed, and I could tell that the Egyptian cotton sheets had a super high thread count.

I want to be like u when I grow up. A lot could happen between now and then. I might not become rich, and I might never have a real career. I might grow up and lose touch with the party scene. I might never receive a late night text message about an early morning afterparty at your house ever again. But maybe nights like last night can't happen every night. Maybe they do happen every night, and that is ur life--a life that I am openly jeal of.

Rich old dude whose house we Partied at--you are one of the greatest bros I have ever met in my life. And I only knew you for one night. But what a night it was...

Signed,
A bro who went wild'n'out at ur house last night

PS: I stole a _________ from your house.

Have yall ever partied at a rich dude's house who u didn't know?
Was the vibe chill, dangerous, or thrilling?
Do u hope to be independently wealthy when ur old, but still mingle with kids from the alt scene?
Have u ever been to a Golden Corral?

Took this picture in my parents' private jet. I am considering taking it down from facebook before I go to college so that I seem like a 'normal kid.'

Photo via lookbook

I have always wanted a normal upbringing, where I would have a healthy mix of 'earning success', along with some lil boosts along the way of having 'nice shit handed to me.' Unfortunately, as I have grown older, I have had to rely on the connections of my parents along with their financial support more than I would have liked to. It definitely changes the way that authentic people look at me. Most people can't buy whatever they want and can't do whatever they want [via financial constraints].

They think that I live in some sort of dream world, and that I'm not appreciative for what has been given to me, but I am actually very appreciative and very humble. I have problems that they can't even relate to. I am rlly worried that when my parents die, I won't be able to stay as rich as I am now. I feel like there is something inside of me that wants to make a lot of money so that I can be 'double rich' and just live in Manhattan or something. It would also be cool to marry another rich person, then we could pool our incomes and give money to 'the arts'/'innercity schools.'

It's hard dealing with social perception and class issues. I wish people could realize that rich ppl are 'real people' too, and that we want authentic human connections as much as other ppl. There's more to people than 'how much money they make.' Wish people could see all the colours of the rainbow, instead of just 'green' [via metaphor about money].

R u 'rich'?
do u h8 'rich alts' who buy 'designer shit'?
Would u trade ur 'normal childhood' for a $100K boost in ur parents' income?
Did ur parents make/lose a lot of money during ur childhood?
R u afraid to fly in a private jet because of the increased risk of crash?

do u think that 'money' is 'bullshit' or 'what makes the world go round'?
Is it hard to form authentic connections with alternative ppl who have had 'everything handed 2 them'?
Is there such thing as an 'authentic upbringing'?
r u a 'private jet alt'?