HIPSTER RUNOFF

All my life, I have been told that women only value 3 things in a man: money, huge peens, and physical attractiveness. Unfortunately, I have been scared that I would never have any of these, and I would never find some1 to love me, or some1 who I can plant my seed in. Before the 2010s, women just wanted to be 'dominated' and 'told what to do' as long as they had food on the table and a weekly shopping spree at the mall.

Now women are more independent, and are seeking a chill ass life partner. Women are 'more independent', and that basically means that they are 'stressed and crazy' so they need a chill ass bro who metaphorically danks them out in their down time:

Women generally find calm, collected men more attractive, and scientists now suggest they know the biology of why that is.

Investigations into what makes men desirable often focus on testosterone. The hormone is linked with masculine facial traits, such as larger jaws and heavier brows, and is typically associated with better long-term health. As such, it might at first glance make sense from an evolutionary point of view if women found testosterone-laden men especially attractive.

The study is based around some sort of imaginary concept called 'cortisol', which is some sort of 'magic mojo' or something like that. For the purposes of this article, we can just call cortisol 'unchill juice', so the more of it in ur body, the more likely u r to be unchill.

However, past studies have often revealed that men with high testosterone levels are not automatically appealing to women, who view such testosterone-laden men as having long-term drawbacks. For instance, the macho guys may lead a "player's" lifestyle, or may also be bad parents.

Instead, human behavioral ecologist Fhionna Moore at the University of Abertay Dundee in Scotland and her colleagues focused on the stress-linked hormone cortisol. Persistently high levels of cortisol can suppress not just the immune system, but also reproductive function. As such, it would make sense if women preferred men with low cortisol levels — that is, those who are not stressed out.

How much cortisol do u have in ur body?
R u mad chill or unchill?
R u a chill bro with a sweet ass girlfriend who loves u 4 u?
Or are you a bad ass possessive BF who makes sure

Apparently this is a side-by-side of a chill bro and an unchill bro. The dude on the left is unchill because he has too much cortisol, but the bro on the right is 'mad chill'.

Apparently 'low-cortisol' = 'mad chill.'

"We speculate, then, that males with low cortisol possess something desirable that women seek to secure for their offspring," Moore said. "This could be, for example, good health or a healthy response to stress."

I guess that makes sense. Women just want to chill out, and have some1 plant a seed in them. They'd rather have chill, passionate sex with a chill bro, not 'abusive, possessive sex' with an unchill bro.

If u r a girl, do u like bros who are chill?
Will chill bros end up smoking weed and not making 'mad bank' throughout their lives'?
Do unchill bros make it far in life, being able to walk all over chill bros?
Can a bro be 'too chill'?
Does this make Ernest Greene of Washed Out 'the sexiest man alive'?

Does chillwave even 'resonate' with women, or is it a bros only genre?
Should all women 'stop dealing with men' and just be crazy lesbians 2gether?
Can a couple be 'too chill' or does chillness help u to achieve life goals?