HIPSTER RUNOFF

Some moments only happen once
So u must do whatever u can
2 ensure that u capture these moments
2 share with ur friends and family

I capture media
With my smart phone
.jpg, .mov, .wmv, .3gp, .avi
Blast it out 2 social networks
Let my tribe live and breathe with me.

Comment, LIKE, RT, +1

Before I met the President
I wasn't nervous abt his presence
When I met the President
I was nervous that I wouldn't capture the moment
4evr & ever & evr (until my hard drive that I didn't back up crashed)

He came up to me, extended his hand
I took a photo of his face
He hugged me
I extended my arm
Snapped a photo of my face
The back of his head
Our embrace

"I voted for u."
He said "Thank U, bb! U look good! Be my fan on FB!"
"I already am."
"God Bless You."

Great story,
I know.
But if u don't capture ur content
It basically nvr happened

My new default
This moment will last 4evr
Sorta wish I had 1 of these, though

Get a wider angle
higher angle
Minimize my double chin

******
Is this the greatest Myspace style 'self-pic' of all time?
is this broad 'the ultimate lamestreamer'?
Do u 'capture moments' [via ppl holding up cameras at concerts] or do u 'just live it'?

Hi! We're the staff at your family dentistry practice. It's great to see you. Have you been brushing and flossing? Let's take a look...

I feel scared to go to the dentist. It doesn't matter how successful/relevant/cultured/financially well-off I am, I am still scared that I will be exposed. When I walk into the Dentist's Office, my personal brand doesn't matter. The only brand that matters is my mouth's hygienic brand.  The dentist and/or his assistant will be able to see whether or not I am focused enough to make 'taking care of my teeth' part of my daily routine.

Maintaining your teeth is about self control. Do you eat a ton of sugary foods? Do you fail to brush your teeth after eating carby foods? Do you like acidic solutions stripping the enamel from your teeth? Do you brush for 4-6 minutes per brushing session? Do you floss daily? Do you want ur teeth to fall out?

Every time u go 2 the dentist, He will judge u. He will rate your work. He will evaluate you. How do u perform when u go to the dentist? Is it a 'routine home run', or do you 'crumble' since you didn't bother to take care of your teeth for the past 6 months? How does this make u feel? R u ashamed?  Do u 'expect more' from urself?  Do u wish you could tell ur dentist that you are 'actually a very competent person' but you just didn't really take care of ur teeth.

I feel chill when I go into the Dentist's Office. I know what to expect. Scraping teeth. Polishing. Chill soft rock in the background. Some lady 'trying to make small talk' with u.  Some light in ur face.  Water spraying.

I feel confused when the majority of my visit is a 'cleaning' by a dental hygienist. I think that she probably has a high school education, 2 years at a technical school, then passed some test. She seems simultaneously content and unsatisfied with her life. Her cartoon scrubs make me sad. She seems 'good at what she does', but still seems like some1 living a life of servitude/a job where you don't get to waste time on the computer all day.

I think I start to feel uncomfortable when the dental technician begins 'scraping a metal pick' against my teeth. I don't understand why this instrument is only necessary every 6 months. It seems like a similar product should be available to the masses & 'branded' by a toothbrush company or something.

I understand the importance of dental hygiene. Throughout my childhood, my parents have invested thousands of dollars in my teeth. I wore braces for a year to make sure that my teeth are straight and my bite is perfect.  When you don't have straight teeth, it doesn't really reflect on you; it tells the world that your parents were poor-ish/didn't value you enough to make sure you had aesthetically-pleasing teeth for the rest of ur life.

I understand that if I don't take care of my teeth, they will probably fall out. I know that I will be wealthy enough to get 'replacements', but I would feel ashamed of myself if I let my teeth rot away.  Like every night I would look in the mirror and think, 'You really let yourself down.'  I will look back on my life and wonder what I could have done differently.

The most suspenseful part of a dentist's visit is 'finding out whether or not u have a cavity.' You are a failure if you have a cavity.  You should feel bad.  Why didn't u brush before you went to bed all those nights?  What were you doing that was so important that you 'only brushed' but didn't floss?  Why wasn't taking care of your teeth important to you?  Can you name 3 things that are more important to you than dental maintenance? (1. checking fb + twitter  2.  watching internet pornography  3.  substance abuse)

Just need to acquire the tools to prevent tooth decay.

Not sure which toothbrush to buy.  So many choices.

Will probably buy an electric one, since it theoretically does 'more work 4 u.' Just need to make sure to brush at a 45 degree angle along my gum line.

Relieved that I don't have a 'manual' toothbrush.

Regular Toothbrush : Dell Desktop Computer :: electric toothbrush : Macbook Pro

Sorta wish medical companies could brand their products as effectively as tech companies are able to.

It seems like Listerine has the most powerful mouthwash brand.

Will probably buy some 'high end' floss instead of the 'generic shit' just so that I don't seem poor when people use my bathroom.  I feel like the 'regular green floss' can sometimes get stuck in your teeth and begin to unravel.

But srsly. You really need to start flossing. Every day. It's just as important as brushing. I know that you have been programmed to think that 'brushing is enough' but it's not.  (It seems like flossing wasn't as important in the 90s.)  You need to take care of your gums.  Eventually bacteria will get to the root of your tooth.  Then you will 'be fucked.'  S000 much decay happens between the teeth.  Places ur brush can't reach.

This is how to floss. Do you remember? We went over this last time. It doesn't make sense that you have a college degree and make over $_0,000 per year, but for some reason you don't care enough to floss. You deserve to feel bad and incompetent.

It seems like people should 'theoretically' be able to maintain their teeth without the consultation of a dentist. Like we should be given the tools to keep our teeth healthy. I honestly feel like 'a lil brush and some string' is not enough to keep our teeth clean and healthy.  It seems like the dental industry is 'giving us just enough to stay healthy', but we still need us to fail+be dependent upon their services.  Hope that Obama's healthcare plan includes 'self-servicing dentistry kits.'

It seems like it is 'okay' to get a few fillings. Like it is just a symbol of the quality of your life. If ur parents are making u happie and filling ur tummy, u will get some cavities during your life. I just feel relieved that we live in the era where fillings are white instead of silver. Seems like there has to be 'something wrong' with putting that silver shit in your mouth, like your mouth tastes like metal.

Really just hope my teeth 'stay healthy' as my life improves. Hope that 'tooth decay' over time does not mirror my 'quality of life' over time. Feel 'relieved' to have dental insurance from HRO, Inc.

Really need to 'take care of my health' before I get older and everything is irreversible. Seems like doctor/dentist visits seem 'stressful' when ur old. Like the medical bro is 'out to get you' and 'ruin ur life.'

Worried that I will get 'stupid' and 'insecure' as a grow older. Feel incompetent, like the world is moving too fast. Will feel like every1 else in the world is 'more accomplished' than me, and that I 'can't do anything right.' Seems emotionally taxing, as if it will take 2-5 years off my life.

The brand of 'good dental hygiene' is so surreal. Lil Tooth Bro.  Just wanting you to brush and floss.  Keep him healthy.

It seems like a positive tooth bro, encouraging you to stay healthy in the mouth, but at the same time sorta being 'a dick' about it. Letting you know that you're not good enough and don't have self control. Kinda weird how your interpretation of brands changes as you grow older.

It seems like even when u 'brush and floss regularly', u can sometimes still experience tooth decay. It really makes u feel 'helpless' when u try hard but see no positive results, and the dental technician still 'makes u feel like a failure.' Sorta feel like I don't control what happens in my mouth. Apparently ur mouth has more bacteria than ur colon. Seems like a 'death sentence' for ur teeth.

It's kinda weird how simple stuff like 'having teeth' can help u 2 connect with humanity. We're all just trying to 'be happy and eat good food + fall asleep without brushing' without losing our teeth. We all feel _____ about going to the dentist. We all feel _______ when ur lectured on how to ______ correctly. We all feel ______ when we find out that they are going to have to remove our _______ because we have _______.

How many times do u brush per day?
How many times do u floss per week?
Do u drink regular sodas, diet sodas, or no sodas?
When is the last time u went to the dentist?
Is it 'alt' to keep ur wisdom teeth in?

Do u feel sad whenever u go into a medical family practice office?
Should I quit my blog and go 2 med school to 'make a difference in the world'?
Will I have my original teeth in my skull when I die and my body is buried?

Would u like to schedule a follow up appointment?

Photo via blahblah

I think the worst part about being a girl is having a protective father. Ever since I entered my tweenage years, he has been very protective of my body. I think he didn't want me to turn into 'a lil slut' or something like that, and now that I am grown up, I understand what he was trying to protect. He wanted me to be his lil girl forever. He didn't want me to be a 'woman' who was 'mad objectified' by miscellaneous men and bros. Sorta wish I had a 'cool dad' instead of an 'overprotective father.'

When women 'cover up', it's because they have a high level of self-respect. I remember when God was still sculpting my breasts from 'tween ant mounds' into 'beautiful, sweet titties.' I was unsure of my own body. Would I be 'flat'? Would I be 'hot'? Maybe in the end, it didn't matter. Maybe if I move to 'the middle east', I might become 'a better person' since I will 'keep my shit sacred' [via covered up]. Just want a man who 'loves me' to see 'my goods.'

For a while I felt embarrassed that my parents only let me wear 1 piece bathing suits, and then when I bought my bikini, they made me wear a tank top underneath. It's weird how my parents just wanted to protect me, and my body, and possibly my own body image. Not sure if it was 'for the best' because I went through a rebellious phase [via drugs, sex, and bloghaus].

Sorta just wanna be confident in who I am--not give a shit about societal fashion norms, and try to carve out my own personal brand in this zany world of ours.

Please use the comments section of this post to share your own stories of dealing with ur body image, ur protective father, and growing up in the modern, sexual world.

Sometimes I wonder if I 'worry 2 much'
about 'shit that doesn't matter'
like 'the way I look'
and 'how other ppl perceive me.'

Kinda just want to listen 2 Daft Punk
and 'gain a shit load of weight'
by eating 'bad ass foods' that
'taste awesome' but are 'probably killing me.'

I wish that there was some sort of 'plus size' solution
to look fashionable
and 'seem hip' and 'in the know'
But I think that part of 'being fit'
means that 'u care about being alive.'
wonder if Am Appy will come out with a 'plus size' line in 2k34
when their core market 'gets all old and fat'

Just want to 'be myself'
and like 'chill' and 'go to Chili's' and 'eat McDonalds breakfast'
and 'go out to binge eat Mexican food'
and 'eat lasagna' like the popular cat Garfield

but 'who will love me' for 'who I am'
It would take a strong person
to want to 'cum on'/'cum with'
some1 who is 'larger than life.'

Worried that my heart will stop
or something like that

R u happie with the way u look?
do u end up looking in the mirror for extended periods of time
thinking about the person u will be after u 'get in shape'?
Did u 'lose a lot of weight'/'gain a lot of weight' recently? Why?

Hope u r okay.
want u 2 b happie with who u r
Best,
Carles