Yall. I feel confused when I see these Nike gladiator shoes. I think that they are supposed to be ‘athletic’ but also ‘trendy.’ I am not sure if they were designed to give your feet/body adequate support. I think it might be for people who are ‘only interested in looking kewl’ but also possibly for ‘people who play xtreme sports.’ Haven’t really followed Xtreme Sports since Tony Hawk died in a skateboarding accident-prank with Tom Green.

These gladiator Nikes are for:
a) streetwear urban bros
b) streetwear urban bros from suburbia/Los Angeles
c) LeBron James
d) Kobe Bryant
e) replacing the ‘chill soccer sandal’
f) going to build a time machine and sell them 2 actual gladiators
g) something about the show “AMERICAN GLADIATORS”
h) wrestlers [via Mickey Rourke/Brooke Hogan]
i) boxers [via Manny "Pac Man" Pacquiao]
j) the homosexual demographic
k) the now-defunct ‘metrosexual’ demographic
l) bros who wear Ed Hardy
m) bros who want to look chill but also be ready to fight
n) giving away for free at Coachella Pool Partie
o) black people
p) Choose.Your.Own.Response

Confused about gladiator sandals/shoes.
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/t/gladiator-shoes

Not sure who I even am any more, and what brand represents me the most/best.

I think that products unify people. Some products last forever, staying relevant with each new generation. For example, most ‘normal people’ have eaten at McDonalds during their lifetime. I am trying to identify products which unify the alternative community. One product that I think most ppl have owned and built their brand around is the Chuck Taylor All Star. Not sure if ‘high tops’ were for every1, but I think most people who have wanted to build an alternative personal brand sometime in their lives’ invested $20-40 in this simple show that isn’t as comfy as people pretend it is.

Can’t believe they played basketball in these shoes back b4 I was alive. Probs resulted in a lot of shin splints/stress fractures. But I don’t think ‘black people’ were ‘flying above the rim’ back when these shoes were ‘athletic’ so maybe it was more manageable.

Just glad that this timeless, humble, unisex shoe is there for all of us. Any time I want to look like a humble, approachable alt who isn’t ‘too intimidating’ and is probably open to any sort of experience or genre of music, I put my lowtop Chuck Taylor All stars on. Think it’s kinda keut when girls wear them. Think it’s keut when mainstream tweens who are experimenting with altness wear a pair of these shoes.

Can yall think of any other products that unify the alternative population? We just have a lot in common sometimes with all genres of alt, like ‘black t-shirts’, or ‘blank CD-Rs’ or even ‘Macbooks.’ We all kinda just want the same thing, and we all have the same tools to achieve our social goals [via mall in suburbia].

“We’re all kinda the same, if u put all of the purchases during our lifetime into a big Excel spreadsheet.” – Jesus

Previous Shoe Coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/08/which-shoe-company-represents-u.html
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/01/product-review-kanye-wests-new-zany-shoe.html
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/10/should-i-be-nike-4-halloween.html
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/08/kute-azn-of-the-day-snkr-edition.html

Kanye West is one of the most brilliant minds of the past 200 years. He is a master of the arts, and he can ‘do anything that he puts his mind to.’ This is why I was surprised when my Kanye West shoes were so terrible.

s00 uncomfortable. They gave me calluses and I think I might have to get my feet amputated like I have diabetes aka ‘the sugar.’

Also the design is a litle bit too zany. I am ‘not sure how to fasten it 2 my foot.’ There multiple laces, straps, latches, chains, fasteners, knots, and velcro apparatuses that I can’t figure out. Kinda makes me wish that I was ‘a special needs human’ who only had 2 worry about 2 velco straps on my shoe.

Not sure if I should return the shoe, but I already wore it to the Presidential inauguration.

Might buy this zany shoe instead.

Might ride around on Katie Couric’s back instead

Might cut out my eyes and replace my hands/feet with paws instead.

[Photo by EZ Fashion]

Also, a group of blipster gang members who were transitioning into the modern thug brand [via Louis Vuitton] mugged me and stole my shoes. Here is a picture of them but I am not sure if I can accurately describe them cuz they were s0 fresh.

Can yall understand this guy, or is he ‘just full of babble’?

n e ways…
not sure what I should do about my shoe situation.
I kinda regret ‘having idols’ who make shoes. Ever since I was a little kid, I always had to buy a shoe that an athlete made. Now I don’t know what 2 do. What can I do if I can’t trust the celebs who I love?

Will probz just have to get a new pair of my MSTRKRFT Pumas.

or maybe just the SoMe + Busy P Nikes.

//// HELP
////2 many / not enough choices
//// consumer identity is s00 lost. :-(
(Should I become a Kanye West + ANCO only blog?)

Indoor soccer shoes are for bros with a lifestyle that sees them float in between multiple contexts: mainstream and alt. The indoor soccer shoe gives them versatility in function and image.
Never trust a bro over the age of 20 who still wears indoor soccer shoes. He is not sure who he wants to be. Or he has a membership at one of the world’s only remaining indoor soccer facilities.

//////////////////
Gimmicks that might big in 2k10
//////////////

Ying Yang choker necklaces

Necklaces that prove you recently ‘went to the beach’ on a family vacation and ‘got to take a friend’

Old brands before ‘alt’ became ‘a lil more self-aware’ (remember when alternative clothing only came in black, white & red ? ///// this is why mallrat-based alts are usually in only these colours)

Looking like Brandon Boyd

I think we are headed back 2 more simplistic free-spiritedness. Kind of like the zeitgeist of a 12 year old bro who ‘just discovered what marijuana tastez like’ and is about to ’see his GPA slip @ high school’, and will enjoy becoming a justified ‘chilled out bro in the world’ who transcends his parents’ rules.

Still trying 2 find myself in 2k9…. I guess some things never change, yall.

Previous shoe coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/08/which-shoe-company-represents-u.html