HIPSTER RUNOFF

Photo by the cobrasnake

What would u do if ur bro started 2 chill around town bare naked, except for a kute lil shuttershades necklace?
a) have an 'intervention' with him about his personal branding choices
b) take him on an am Appy shopping spree
c) take him to JC Penny's so he can buy a chill bro blazer
d) encourage him to 'become a mainstreamer' so he can wear cargo shorts, Hollister shirts, Old Navy flag tees, etc.
e) distance yourself from 'bro status' with him
f) 'roll with him' so that u can get attention by 'knowing him.'
g) craft a pair of shuttershades for ur peen head
h) tell him about a kewl new band called 'the jousteeces.'
i) travel with him to the woods, listen to the Grizzly Animal Bear Collective, and spend a nite talking about existentialism/societal norms
j) Try to make a viral vid with him while he walks down a busy street naked in Paris, France.
k) become 'bi'/'homosexual'
l) try to compare 'cock sizes'
m) start a blog with pix of him and hope u 'go viral'/'get a book deal'
n) get a job at McDonalds to get u more 'in touch' with 'real ppl'
o) 'murder' him
p) Go up behind him, and yell 'YALL GOT RUNOFF'D, mother effers!'
q) Choose.Your.Own.Response

Feel embarrassed about my current situation. Like my bro is 'losing his f*cking mind.' Think it might be part of 'growing older' or something, and wanting 2 stay young forever [via Peter Pan {subVia Michael Jacksons}]. Think he is trying to be innovative or something. Feel bad if his lil necklaces represent a minimemorial 4 a 'fallen altbro' or something.

Sorta miss the days when shuttershades were still 'relevant' and 'only kewl people' were wearing them. h8 tween proliferation.

http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/tag/shutter-shades

[Photo by thecobrasnake]
This is a beautiful photograph. U can't really see what's happening, but that is kind of a metaphor. We need more metaphors which will help us to reflect in 2k9.

I can't be 100% certain what is happening in the picture. Is it a house party? Is it a meaningful electro concert? Is it a picture from the Running of the Bulls? Is it a group of bros being executed as a group? Is it a group of people singing the song "Losing My Religion" by R.E.M.? Is it a group of bros trying to go viral via their youtube channel? We'll never know, yall.

"I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try" -The R.E.M.s

But part of me kinda likes not knowing. While I usually yearn for certainty, this time I feel at peace without knowing an answer to all of my questions. I know I'm not the only one.

There's more to photography than yall think.
Beautiful Photographs Make U Think About Life.

(Maybe it was just an artistic decision 2 try to hide the Shuttershades bro)

miss u 2k_
As we move forward in time, are we realizing that 2k_ was the best year in the history of the world?

[Photo by the Preggers Goldfish]

Yall. Because of Universal Warming, the sun is getting brighter/hotter. Eventually, the sun will be able to burn through our corneas and possibly our retinas. This means that we are going to have to wear more Protective Technologies, like Shutter Shades, blind people glasses, and flickr blockrs. In an effort to reduce time spent out during daylight hours, men and women will be forced to dress in black & wear humble loafers. We will carry fannypacks that aren't strapped around our fannies full of nourishment & emergency medical supplies.

Are yall scared of the future?

Here is a diagram of the human eye for readers who obtained education which focused in the Arts & Humanities (instead of Math & Science).

Guys, we have to make sure that we don't lose our vision. If we can't look at computer screens/the way other people look, then how are we going to construct ourselves? Would h8 to have to listen to the radio to consume all of my information. And we wouldn't have the opportunity to 'get' funnie viral videos/sillie internet pix of cats that want veggieburgers.

Should I buy these functional shuttershades to protect my eyesight?

[Photo by Domestic Fine Arts]

Or should I become a welding masked DJ?

[Photo by Thecobrasnake]
I often wonder what will be next after shutter shades. What type of glasses will take shuttershades' non-functionality to the next level while maintaining a mass-market appeal? Fortunately, this innovative AZN was able to usher in the post-shuttyshades era!

How Innovative r u when it comes to products & trends?

On this graph:

• AZNs/Japanazns/It Girls/designers/alt-celebs = innovators.
• AltBros who read too many blogs = Early Adopters
• AltBags/AltBros = Early Majority
• Mainstreamers + Maltstreamers + entrylevel alts= Late Majority
• Cool Dads + PostMainstreamers wearing costumes = Laggards

[Please help me revise the theory behind this graph!]

I remember one of the most astounding technological innovations in the history of the Alternative Economy was the creation of a pair of glasses without traditional lenses that still offered u the opportunity to block the sun from irritating ur retina. The Shutter Shades were one of the most amazing products some1 has ever designed, kinda like an iPhone or a Pringles can. It's just good to know that glasses makers are still pushing forward, trying to find something new.

It's good to know that Innovators are still willing to take risks, and keep introducing trends into the alternative trendosphere.

Does n e 1 else miss the golden age of Shutter Shades?

You might remember the popular blog band 'the Teenagers' from the era when the blog 'HIPSTER RUNOFF' wouldn't stop talking about them and performed the only real interview in HRO history with them.

N e ways...since I am basically Teenager HQ on the internet, here is a song that was left off REALITY CHECK but included on some single in a foreign country.

They are working on new stuff. Wouldn't u be tired of playing 'Homecoming' to entry-level alts who just heard it last week, too? Does n e 1 else miss remixes by the Teenagers? Bloghouse was so innocent back then. :-(

[MP3]
The Teenagers Trouble

Myspace
http://www.myspace.com/theteenagers

XX BONUS SHUTTER SHADES PIC XX


XX BONUS ALICE GLASS SIGHTING XX

Is that a Mr. Potato Head Tattoo on her wrist?
[http://flickr.com/photos/theteenagers]

Are shuttershades no longer mainstream-alt, yall?
Is there a new glasses trend that we need to be aware of?

Does n e 1 work for a design firm that is creating the next big sunglasses trend? Will it be martini glasses? I need to know if I should invest in a certain type of sunglasses stock.

Does n e 1 know if AZN glasses are going to be big in 2k10?

The Olympics in China have been really successful, so I think a lot of people are going to 'try to be AZN' or something like that. U know how the world is... when they see something that they think is 'alt', they try to align their personal brand with it. s00 annoying/inauthentic.

Does n e 1 know if white framed sunglasses are still 'underground'/'indie'/'unique-core'?

Should I just buy some zany coloured Wayfarers and match them to my clothing?

Or should I buy sunglasses that enable me to take the lenses out for days when it isn't sunny?

YALL.
I'M SO CONFUSED. I HATE THE TAIL-END OF TRENDS. IT'S LIKE I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM N E M0RE. SUXXX SO BAD.

N e ways...Summer is almost over... do u need to wear sunglasses in the non-summer? Or are they a summer-exclusive accessory?
r u gonna miss the Shuttershade era?
R.I.P. Kanye West. U had a good run.

I don't rlly know who exactly played Lollapalooza, but I did look at some pictures of it on some online website. It looks like it may or may not have been 'memorable' and/or 'meaningful.'

[photos by Every1isFamesies]

Mainstreamers+festivalBros got rlly mad at alts for 'taking over the scene' and attracting 'a bunch of artists that no1 has even heard of.'

I'm just glad the alts handled themselves with grace and post-post-ironically giggled it off. They also came prepared with headbands and bandanas to wipe up any excess blood.

Kid Sister, also known as Hillary Banks 2.0, looks to have played at the festival. I'm glad she got all dolled up 4 it, instead of treating it like 'a bunch of nobodies from Milwaukee.'

It seems like festival security was kind of lacking. Some old lady wandered up on to stage after taking too many of her meds. She was in a pair of golden granny panties.

Remember 'band photography'? R.I.P. He should trade in that lens, and invest in a Canon Party Pic 3000 lens.

I wish I could be young again and know what it means to appreciate modern culture for all of the right reasons. (I wish my parents had the money to encourage me to appreciate the arts when I was a kid. Do u think they got dropped off, or was a parent stuck there in the Dance tent watching bloghouse DJS?)

Lollapalooza set attendance records because there happened to be a MAINSTREAMALTBRO Convention going on in the ballroom of a nearby Holiday Inn.

Do u wish u had gone?
did u go? Who did u see? did any thing 'zany' or 'meaningful' happen?
Or was it just 'same ol shit'?
2ManyAlts? Not enough authenticity at music festivals n e m0re?
Who r u? U've changed a lot in the last 5 years.
What's the best Musie Festival?

More Lollapalooza coverage at
http://www.everyoneisfamous.com

XX BONUS ALT CELEB WITH A SHITTY BEER PIC XX

Beers with lime in them were made for Latino Markets & Popular Mashup DJs.
[Alt Polaroid by Gorillavsbear]

Remember the time I blggd abt Coachella?
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/04/coachella-quizzin.html

<3 covering music festivals for yall <3

If you were fortunate enough to major in architecture, engineering, or construction, you can figure out a way to remove the shutters from your shutter shades (also known as Kanye West glasses).

'Glasses with no lenses' may now also be referred to as 'Shutter-shades with no shutters.'

[Photo by Every1IsClaytonHauck]

Which one of these statements is true?
a) Shutter shades were made in China by the same team of designers that designed the iPhone.
b) Kanye West discovered shutter shades while in China for a 'Free Tibet' benefit concert.
c) In the year 2010, Kanye West 'came out of' the 'closet' in which 'fggts' reside bc they are 'afraid' of what 'society' might 'think of them,' especially in 'the' 'hip-hop community.'

KUTE AZN GIRLS: the world's #1 source for emerging trends?

[Photo by ReadySetGlo]

Does any 1 know where I can get this interesting interpretation of horizontal shutter shades? I just need a solid pair of glasses that I can wear any where, and I can rely on to completely impair my vision.

[Pic by LastNitesShutterbuddies]

***************
BONUS SHUTTER SHADES COVERAGE

As 'FGGT G0GGLES Month' comes to a close on HRO, take some time to celebrate with this video from the Shutter Shades Launch Party. It is probably the shuttershadiest piece of digital media that will ever exist.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uy5AhgFzJDs&hl=en]
[Via an HRO Intern]

POP QUIZ:
How many pairs of shutter shades can u find in this picture?

I read on a fashion blog that if you wear shutter shades (also known as Kanye West glasses[also known as CUM FGGT GOGGLES]) too often, your eyebrows will fall out and your eyes will cry blood.

Anyways. Every1 needs to consider getting rid of their eyebrows in the summer to combat internal global warming.

Love yall!

[Image by DirtyDirtyDancing]

I wonder if there is a world record for 'Most People Wearing Kanye West Glasses in 1 Party Pic.' Plz be on the lookout for this Holy Grail of pictures, because I'm sure it involves 5+ alt bros and 5+ mainstreamer girls pretending to be alt for the night.

I also learned from a Bay Area Style Blog that these glasses are called SHUTTER SHADES. Should I stop calling them 'Kanye West Glasses'? Should I just call them 'Cum in the Eye Protectors'?

I really need to buy a pair soon for when I have to go to an 'Ironic 00s Era Party' in 10 years. I hope it is as fun as today's 80s parties. Hopefully mainstreamers will still get to go to American Apparel to find their wardrobe for throwback-themed parties in the coming decades.

Love yall!

[Pic by Nicky Digital]