slutwave | Hipster Runoff

slutwave

ULTIMATE LAMESTREAM, DUBSTEP SLUTWAVE & COOL DAD INDIE GRAMMY RECAP


Did u watch the Grammys?
Is there any sort of cultural commentary 2 add other than 'famous ppl of various talent levels gave us memes 2 overanalyze, mock, and slutshame'?

THESE ARE THE 2K12 GRAMMYS....

'I wish these were rotisserie chickens' [via hefty_ppl_jokes]

Tonight was the chubwave genre's coming out party.

Guy from Deep Blue Sea hosted [via Deepest Darkest]

Bon Iver won some award that Skrillex should have won. Delivered horrible speech.

'I am not a whore and men are mean 4 lying 2 me abt loving me' -Taylor Swift's simple message of female empowerment

Say what u will abt Chris Brown beating the shit out of Rihanna, but at the end of the day, he's the best in the game in haunting your graphic rape fantasies.

'U like dat ass?' -Slutwave 101 textbook, chapter 32

Adele collabs with some soulpatch-wave, sculted facial hair country singer bros

Adam Levine is truly the hardest twink in the game right now.

The White Stripes reunited.

Kings of Leon looking swole

Mumford and Sons looking 'dapper'

Robyn looking like a fashion disaster/foreign little boy with bowl haircut

I'm not sure why she wore her kinky sex toys 2 the Grammys. Seems classless, trying 2 hard 2 be a slutwaver.

Not sure why Lykke Li was invited. Thought she was just a random female indie artist.

CONTINUE READING GRAMMY RECAP POST AND LOOKING AT ALL OF THE RANDOM PPL --->>>>>

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

Read more>>>>

Skrillex

Alternative Celebrity, DJ

Skrillex is a popular dubstep DJ who is arguably the #1 alt DJ in the world.

Read more>>>>

Was M.I.A.'s Super Bowl flip off the first shameless slutwave marketing act in the post-LDR era?


Lana Del Rey's meme buzz album cycle
was an important GAME CHANGING business case in the music industry
that we are only now starting to see the lasting effects of.
She changed every thing

Del Rey proved that no one really cares how the music sounds.
Instead, people love prettiness, controversy, and the construction of the idea of 'fame.'
By 'tanking' on SNL, she became a household name.
It was worth it
2 achieve 'mad album sales'
and propel herself into the lenses of paparazzi cameras everywhere

The LDR 'buzzslut' strategy will be copied by many females
eager 2 get in headlines with lewd acts and controversial moments
where u can argue that 'the world is cyberbullying her'
because no1 ever wants to hold a woman accountable for her actions
'even when she is asking for it'
Women and soft-voiced cultural commentators will rush to 'protect' a woman
As long as she produces controversial content and is 'mad hot'
[via riding Lindsay Lohan waves]
protecting the eternal stream of her content

M.I.A. deployed a similar 'LOOK AT ME, YALL' strategy
But I'm not sure if any1 even noticed
because her finger was lost in the background of her sillie outfit
And no1 even understands her when she raps

It is a dark time for women in the music industry
Lana ensured that they must 'pull stunts' to get attention
To 'get people talking'
As a feminist would say, 'all female press is good female press'

So I maybe M.I.A.s act of social terrorism
was good 4 female artists
doing big thangs
big thangs be poppin in 2k11

Who knows if it will help her sell albums
become a true house hold name
or if her time is 'effing up'
because every1 is 'tired of her bullshit'

She probably needs to get brand management consulting
from Zooey Deschanel and Tavi
to learn what makes other women pretend to respect independent females
instead of groaning bc she is obvi trying SO hard...

This is a brand new era of 'slutwave'
It is not about showing off ur body
implying that you are a 'slut' with ur costume

But instead, being willing 2 'sell urself' at all costs
Humiliate urself... slutshame urself...
Give up ur dignity
Just to be 'burned at the stake'
[via becoming a social media pariah]

So many talking heads
talking blogs
harvesting content farms
Can n e 1 even deliver a seminal cultural moment n e more?

After LDR =
Welcome 2 the Slutwave 2.0
How far will u go
2 inject urself in2 'the conversation'?

We Are All Made Of #Hashtags

******
Does this have 'nothing 2 do with female artists' and everything 2 do with M.I.A. being 'an effing dumb ass diva'?
Did MIA just get caught up in the moment?
Was this the easiest prediction ever? [via Carlestradamus 'calling it'] [link]
Has Lana Del Rey been a breakthru for female artists who want 2 get into the spotlight, or has she made it more difficult than ever for female artists to get attention for 'the right reasons'?
Did M.I.A. 'ruin the Super Bowl'?
Should we all just eat Doritos and watch football 4evr?

M.I.A.

Buzzband, Alternative Celebrity

M.I.A. is known for thinking that the American government is out 2 get her.

Read more>>>>

Has slutwave gone 'too far'?

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I remember when it was kinda funnie 2 joke abt all of the female singers who engaged in an armsrace in order to get the attention of the pop-osphere and win over Mainstream America by shedding their clothes, hump dancing, and singing abt having hot sex with men and women. "Slutwave" became the best way 2 describe the sexi contest and was even named genre of the Year by Rolling Stone Magazine [link]. Now we're used 2 seeing Lady Gaga's nipples on-the-reg and Rihanna 'going 4 it' in her latest music video. I know every generation is prob 'sluttier' and/or 'more desensitized' than its preceding generation, but I kinda wonder if modern slutwave has 'gone 2 far'/if we will ever just vibe out to conservativey women who empower us without getting naked and showing off their cha-chas.

Just watched this handicap girl 'go viral' 4 her hit rendition of the original song "My Vagina Ain't Handicap", in which she reminds males out there that even though she is disabled, she deserves 2 be lusted over like a piece of meat. Really feel uncomfortable. Not sharing this bc I think it is funny to watch a person with special needs beg for sex. Sorta just feeling 'dark', like this girl didn't really need to ride slutwaves in order 2 feel compelled 2 make this video/have a strong subconscious desire for dehumanizing sex.

Sorta feel like maybe it is time 2 move beyond themes of 'real life empowerment' via sexual empowerment 4 women.

If u had a daughter, would u let her listen 2 slutwave?
Who will be the next generation of female role models in music?
Do all females in music eventually have 2 go thru a 'sexual identity/liberation' phase?
Does slutwave 'keep going' bc blogs rely on photogallery hits from women with bangin bods?
Has 'slutwave' gone 2 far?
What is ur reaction 2 this girl's vagina not being handicap?

Ke$ha's tribe of twinks and tweens.

Photo by The Cobrasnake


I have always been perplexed by the brand of Ke$ha. Apparently she sold the most digital singles in 2k10, but she doesn't seem 'as famous' as Lady Gaga. She can't sell out entire arenas and plays smaller clubs, but her music must appeal to some1 [via weird mainstream demographics]. I feel like there are more 'weird Middle Americans' who are searching 4 an authentic identity [via sexuality] than we realize.

Have u ever been 2 a Ke$ha concert/do u know any1 who is an 'ardent member' of Ke$ha's 'tribe'?

Her concert is 'a lot like a Blue Man Group concert' except it is more ghey/conceptual [via glittery].

(Side Note: I brought my daughter. She's a princess and her GPA was above 3.25. Happy Graduation, Sugar!)

Female pop artists really help me 2 discover my innter-alt twink.

What is more authentic: buying a t-shirt of ur fave human...

or making a tshirt of ur fave human?

Dressed up like 'effing hipsters' 2 go to a Ke$ha concert.

Sometiems I wonder if being a relevant GHEY VIP is a more fruitful lifestyle than being a relevant alt VIP

Purgatory alts

R u Ke$ha, bb?

Yes, our parents dropped us off. Yes. We have fauxhawks..

Yes. We are still on Myspace. It is the only social network that has a thriving 'slutty electro pop scene.'

Disabled ppl automatically get portable/mobile VIP status.

I <3 the Rolling Stones and bros who look like Mick Jagger

It's not a real concert unless there is a dancing peen on stage.

Who picked the smartest snack?

I like ur outfit. I like ur nip slip.

'we got here 24 hours before the show so that we could be front + center.'

Sometimes I wish I could be young again so that I can remember what it feels like to be 'loved' because ur parents didn't let you get corrupted by mainstream evils.

It was actually a very liberating concert. I learned that I was not just a skinny teen who wasn't sure about his sexuality. I had finally become an official twink.

Future Girls Night Out Association of America

God Bless Us. Every1 who is a fan of something.

U R WHAT U 'LIKE'
[via facebook]

////
What kind of human/alt/consumer listens to Ke$ha?

INDIE GONE MAINSTREAM: GRAMMY 2K11 RECAP

Another year, another crappy awards ceremonies where mainstream celebs try to throw down memes that get blogged about as indie music fans 'wish for' acceptance from mainstreamers. But this year, indie 'finally got recognized' and now every1 has mixed feelings. Seems like it is just time 2 start consuming indie + mainstream music 'side-by-side.'

2k11: The Year of the ArFi

"We did it." -the Arcade Fire
arcade fire grammy win on stage regine

Here is the moment where Barbara Streisand announces that they won and Win is like "What the Hell?" Kinda pissed at him for thanking Canada even though he is from Houston and the Suburbs of America are what inspired him 2 write this album. Really an unchill move by him.

</embed>

Also Regine babbled something in French. Sorta needs to realize how 2 respect America + the American indie dream.

"Ur telling me the ginger bro gets his own Grammy statue? I thought they got 1 and they had 2 share it."

They 'hid' Regine on drums, which was probably a good call instead of letting her sing Sprawl II and ruining any opportunities they had 2 convert new fans.

Here is the Arcade Fire performing "Month of May" as sweet ass BMX bikers ride around on stage. Wonder if this is some sort of co-branding with the X-Games or something. If the Arcade Fire hadn't won Album of the Year, this would have set indie back at least 30 years.

///just wanna ride my BMX trick bike
///out of suburbia
</embed>

Really felt like at that point Arcade Fire 'wasnt gonna win shit' bc they were marginalized the a crappy BMX helmet cam gimmick, but after the win of Esperanza Spalding, u know that 'the academy' was ready to vote for alt picks.

'At least it provided a great moment for Win + Regine's relationship.'

Not sure if this is Win Butler or a member of Slipknot
win butler slipknot hair

...yeah... yalls sex is on fire...

Anyways, the only other indie thing 2 happen at the Grammies was the Vampire Weekends showing up and losing
vampire weekend at the grammys

And Zooey Deschanel showed up without Ben Gibbard (trouble in paradise)?
zooey deschanel grammies


Let's move forward with mainstream celeb sightings + commentary...

SLUTWAVE COVERAGE

...because America <3s boobs, asses, nips, and vag-es....

Lady Gaga showed up in some egg
Lady Gaga egg grammys

Lady Gaga rode slutwaves during some live performance of her new song. Came out of an egg.
</embed>

Here is Lady Gaga coming out of her egg.

Here she is winning an award but no1 cares abt what she is saying because we already saw what she is wearing

'We get it. Ur zany. Kewl.' [via dick tracy]

Katy Perry: I wish I arrived in an egg.

Katy Perry: I wish I had integrated an egg in2 my performance

Miley Cyrus parties with a bro who fingerbanged her later in the nite

Rihanna Riding mad slutwaves in a recycled Christmas tree dress

Rihanna trying 2 make Chris Brown jealous bc he knows Drake 'already hit that.'

Wish Xtina Aguilera 'cared abt her career' as a slutwaver and lost 20 lbs and got drrrty again instead of going for the 'BBW Aretha Franklin vibes' [via Jimmy John's late nite sub snacks]

Nicki Minaj tries 2 ride slutwaves but will nvr be as 'hot' as Rihanna / Beyonce

Oprah tries 2 rebrand as a slutwaver

Hayley Williams from Paramore dresses like a skank because she doesn't know the difference between 'pseudo-real' awards shows and the MTV family of Awards shows

TWEEN COVERAGE

...because Justin Bieber is one of the most famous ppl on the planet ever...

Here is Justin Bieber letting Will Smith's son rap on his song. Unfortunately, Jaden Smith can't rlly rap as well as his father [via Gettin Jiggy Wit It]

CONTINUE READING THE HRO GRAMMY RECAP>>>>

Arcade Fire

Buzzband

The Arcade Fire is a 2k0s indie band that went mainstream because their songs sound like meaningful anthems. They pretend to be Canadian but Win Butler (lead singer) is actually from Houston, TX.

Read more>>>>

In 2k11, will I ride Christian_waves instead of slutwaves?

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2k10 seems like it was either the year of the slutwave or the rapegaze. Sorta wonder if there is going to be a reactionary response where we just want to 'get conservative' and connect with the Lord Savior @JesusChrist. New genres will be created that take Animal Collective's family values 2 the next level.

Might get rlly in2 Christian music, touch the lord. From what I understand, u can be 'alt' and 'Christian', just as long as u accept His love in2 ur heart.

Really feel like I potentially wasted the last __ years of my life, focusing on all of the wrong things. I realize that 1 day I am going 2 die, and I need 2 figure out whether or not I want 2 chill in heaven. It seems like 'now' would be a good time 2 commit 2 riding Christian_waves.

Instead of spending my time in relevant dive bars, I will spend my time in relevant 'community centers' that smell like old ppl.

No more slutwaves, no more 'being hornie', no more 'hard peens'/'wet vagines.' Need to take His message 2 the masses.

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It feels good to be starting 2k11 with a new goal, a new Lord, a new God, a new reason 2 live. Maybe if we pray harder for bloggable MP3s, God will give us more buzzbands, more mp3s, and a bountiful buzz harvest in 2k11. I'll do anything 2 prevent 2k10 from happening again, even if it means accepting the Lord Savior Jesus Christ in2 my life.

Do u <3 slutwave or Christianwaves?
Will Christian + positive themes be 'hella prevalent' in 2k11 indie music?
Will indie music get really 'values based' as altbros reach the twilight of their '20somethings'?
Do u know any altChristians?
Do u feel sad abt altChristians because they look like they shop at some sort of Christian Hot Topic?
Does white Christian America make u sad?
Is showing ur love + devotion 2 God the ultimate form of self-expression?
Is ur personal brand stronger if ur on #TeamGod?

Ke$ha

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Ke$ha is a slutwave autotune rapper who takes pix of men cumming on her.

Read more>>>>

Did yall watch the American Music Awards? [via no1 gives a shit]


I'm not sure what the American Music Awards is, who cares abt it, who watches it, who 'actually wants 2 win 1' and who thinks that 'winning' an AMA 'means something.' I feel like maybe MTV Awards shows are probably more relevant than 'real awards shows' because they accept the model/gimmick that they are just trying to create fake events that generate long lasting memes, but these awards shows still have to pretend that they 'mean something.'

Not sure if the old ppl pictured above are 'in charge of it' or if they are just lost parents looking for a neighboring convention center room.

Seems like the only notable meme was this 'tween oreo' picture of Jayden Smith, Justin Bieber, and Willow Smith.

Will Willow Smith be able to keep her meme going/does her song 'resonate with tweens' or does she need to ride Miley-ass slutwaves?

Feel like these days u can turn any random ass tween into a 'tween sensation.' This is Julio, a 3rd grader discovered on youtube who now has a record contract + Disney show.

'I hate my abusive stage dad.' - Julio

Probably wasn't a 'real event' if K3$ha wore a torn ass garbage bag

Keut eyebrows. Ur a fashion icon who will be remembered 4evr

Not sure if Katy Perry actually went or just sent a 'wax statue' of herself

At least she sported some camel toe 4 a meme

Taylor Swift is sort of morphing into a slutwaver in the same way that porn stars like Sasha Grey and Faye Valentine 'got hot' because they didn't have cartoon-titties but just were 'super nasty' and 'loved fucking'

Best New Bangs Award

Who invited Mandy Moore? Has she done anything relevant since "A Walk 2 Remember" / "Candy.mp3"?

'Breathe in, breathe out.' -Gavin Rossdale from the buzzband BUSH

Wonder if Gwen Stefani regrets marrying him since he was potentially 'only hot' in the 90s.

"Who the eff is Rob Thomas?" -Gavin Rossdale collabing with Santana to 'crush it' during a cover of "Smooth"

My free spirited 4th grade Spanish teacher showed up.

Apparently the Backstreet Boys and the New Kids on the Block 'merged' and they are going to start touring together even though they are all fat, old, gross, and can't sing as well.

I wonder how these bros are able to handle 'not being famous' any more. I imagine them ordering a sandwich at Subway and waiting anxiously for the sandwich artist 2 recognize them.

Here is some really embarrassing video of their live performance.
Kinda funnie 2 see people trying to get back into these brands.

</embed>

Wonder if all of the non-Timberlake members of NSYNC wish JT's career was 'tanking' so that they could 'reunite'

No idea who this dude is, but looks like the guy who made my fries at Jack N the Box last nite.

No idea who this guy is, but looks like the guy I had to 'argue with' when they effed up my order at Jack N the Box last nite.

Worried that Xtina Aguliarea has been vibing at Jack N the Box a lil bit too much [via 2 for 99 cents tacos]

SEE MORE SHITTY AMA CELEBS THINKING THEY ARE FAMOUS/RELEVANT/ETERNAL -->>>>

NSFW: Miley Cyrus rides a slutwave & a wrecking ball 'in the n00d'!

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!


Miley BB!! Ur new video for 'Wrecking Ball' is totally #SO_TURNT_UP!

Honestly every1 is talking shit about you but I think you know, but i am still honestly on #TeamMiley. They are HATING on u about the VMAs, but I honestly think that that was the best performance in VMA history, and I've been watching all 40 years of it. U have an AMAZING core. Have u been doing zumba, bb? I definitely need to get #toned. #Crossfit.

I think it is BEUATAFILL that you find a way to show off ur SIDEBOOB and ur UNDERBOOB at the same time. I need to get a tattoo soon too to #expressmyself but last time I got one the artist used a heated up clotheshanger and I got Hep C. :-(

I honestly believe ur body is a temple, and I honestly worship ur body. If I had that #BANGIN_BOD, I would def be at the pool at my apt complex every day bc guys would offer me so many Bud Light Lima-A-Ritas. Right now I have to buy my own and I love lovE LOVE getting buzzed on them, but I am so hungover the next day. Dr. Oz says its cuz of the shoogar, but I really need to start a better way of life. #mixology

Kewt CheeChees, bb!

At the end of the day, ur body still looks amazing. Ur chee chees are in GREAT shape. I honestly wish I had shown mine off more at your age. THese days, they are floppier than pancakes in an iHop dumpster.

I think it is so sexi that u lick cold, hard steel. Whenever a man is around me, it is usually soft, floppy goo. (His penis, that is). What can I say, I'm a pleaser. I'll still suck on it and luck it, but it is just as worthless as a piece of Bubble Yum

I really wish I had a better body like Miley so that more men would lay it down on me, but also, cuddle with me.

All of the people saying miley is a SLUT need to back off. I think it is bauteaful that she has #DISCOVERED her body and #SEXUALITY.

Honestly Miley,
U look good, bb!
and that's all that matters.
Trust me, as some one who LOOKS RLLY BAD, bb! :-(

Please tweet at me if you see this Miley.
bye

NSFW: Alt Slutwaver Brooke Candy hits rock bottom, forced 2 get naked in new music video


Brooke Candy burst on 2 the scene in some dumb Grimes video because she looked like a futuristic slutwaver. Now she is trying to become some sort of slutwave rapper. A complete disgrace to 'the game' if I believed that hiphop/rap was authentic, but I think she is just some rich girl rebelling against her comfortable upbringing by 'getting naked on the internet.' Whether you are posting nudes to your secret tumblr or creating a 'rap career' where you get naked, it's all the same game--bitches being bitches (on the internet).

Anyways, this video is for "Everybody Does" and it is the usual shit where every1 just watches to see her get naked, then people are like 'THIS IS NOT REAL RAP, she is RUINING THE GAME' and then some ppl are like 'she is fun tho, good 4 her 4 doin her thang. LOL!' I wish she'd just release something genuinely explicit, or become a 'cam girl'.

Can u believe she resorted 2 animal cruelty [via probably putting geckos in her vagina]?

S0oo0o Freakie BB! Made 4 GIFfing!

At least we got 2 see 'almost naked' Brooke Candy stripping in public

Cmon BB... How abt u turn the lights up, take off the glitter paint and show us just how tig those bitties are. :-*

We get it Brooke Candy. U have our attn. [via titties]

Is Brooke Candy the next great slutwaver?
Do u h8 all this dumb internet rap?
Does she 'not get naked enough'?
R u hornie?
Will 2k13 be 'the year of Brooke Candy' or the year that slutwave died?

PREVIOUSLY

Brooke Candy (The Curvy, Sexy BB from the Grimes 'Genesis' video) releases slutwave new music vid

Brooke Candy

Alternative Celebrity

The hot, curvy sexy alt music video girl from the Grimes "Genesis" video. She is trying to launch a rap career.

Read more>>>>

New Alt slutwave rapper releases new video+song. WTF IS TRVP? [via TRAP MUSIC]


The slutwave female rap game
Bitches referencing the internet
and pop culture trends
Brooke Candy, Kreayshawn, Three Loco
Marginal content produced at a high output rate

TRVP MUSIC REPLACED DUBSTEP?

R u trappin on Tumblr?

Is it easier than evr 2 be a TRVP music producer?
Is it easier than evr 2 be a slutwave/content-farm-wave rapper [via Riff Raff/Lil B]?

What does TRVP mean?
What is TRAP MUSIC?
WTF = TRVP?
TRVPPN?
Are 'V's the new ▲?
IS TRAP = TRVP?
How do u TRVP on TUMBLR?
Is Tumblr the new Myspace?
Do u vibe 2 FEEBZZ?

Is TRVP music 'the end of indie/EDM' trend?
Does 'shitty rap' ruin everything?

TRVP

Alt Slutwaver Brooke Candy releases new slutwave ass video


Brooke Candy has stolen the hearts of every1 who is still into the genre formerly known as indie. Every1 is just like 'fuckit, I just wanna look at a conceptual slutwaver who I can beat off 2' at this point. She has some new video with some human named Charli XCX where she raps.

I have seen the name "Charli XCX" around, but these days you can't tell if that name is some sort of rapper or a keut girl singing and trying to copy Lana Del Rey/Grimes. I feel bad for Charli XCX since she had to 'steal' Brooke Candy from Grimes to basically 'rip off' Grimes. I probably could have found a slutwaver on the cheap for at least half the price of Brooke Candy with curves in all the right places. The real cost would have come from molding a metal slutwave futuristic suit.

The rap/song is pretty lame. Just that usual modern rap shit where they 'drop pop culture references' and act like they are being 'innovative.' Having said that, I'll take Brooke Candy over Kreayshawn any day bc at least I can rub my peen and feel pleasure instead of watching a human who more directly represents the Exploitation of Human Memes in the Modern Internet Music Scene.

Do u <3 Brooke Candy?
Did Charli XCX 'steal' Brooke Candy from Grimes just 2 'rip off' Grimes?
Does Brooke Candy need 2 wear her definitive slutwave outfit all the time?
Does Brooke Candy 'spit mad game' or is she 'wack'?
R u hornie?

PREVIOUSLY
Brooke Candy (The Curvy, Sexy BB from the Grimes 'Genesis' video) releases slutwave new music vid

Brooke Candy

Alternative Celebrity

The hot, curvy sexy alt music video girl from the Grimes "Genesis" video. She is trying to launch a rap career.

Read more>>>>

Brooke Candy (The Curvy, Sexy BB from the Grimes 'Genesis' video) releases slutwave new music vid

Do u remember 'Brooke Candy'?


You might remember Brooke Candy as the curvy ass broad from the 'Grimes Genesis Video.' She was so curvy. She looked like she was from another planet with those curves and that weirdo reflective slutwave suit. From what I understand though, broads like Brooke Candy are 'a dime a dozen' in the greater Los Angeles Tumblr community. Just trying to look all sexi AND post-tumblr-core-seapunk at the same time. So now Brooke Candi has this song "Das Me" about herself.

Do u remember the first time u fell in love with that CURVY A$$ BOD in the Grimes video, where u 'wanted' her, but u were also afraid that she would bite off ur peen because she was an alien or something?

The video features her being all sexy, showing off her curves. R u hornie 4 her?

I guess she is just trying to be 'the new Kreayshawn'/'Riff Raff' since I guess that is the current internet music market with the lowest barrier to entry. All you need is a shitty rap song and an 'eye popping' new video.

Sigh... She really does make my eyes [and peen] pop.

In addition, she also hangs out with random innercity children, because I guess that's what you do in 'hip hop videos' in order to appear more 'rugged', to acquire 'street cred.'

Have u ever JOed to the Grimes 'Genesis' video and thought about a 3some with Grimes, Brooke Candy, and U in the middle of that alt samwich?

'hey'

R u 'turned on' for Brooke Candy?

Are people who look like this 'kewl' or totally 2K_Late?

There's an old saying about girls with weed tattoos on their ass cheeks... Hold on to them.... Hold on to them as tight as u can...

R u in2 Brooke Candy?
Is she the next big indie slutwaver?
Can she 'save' the indie scene?
Can she become the next big 'crappy rapper who posts a crappy video per week that every1 talks about'?
Is she hotter than Amber Rose?
Is she 'alt' or 'hiphop-video-girl-mainstream'?
Do u have an erection?

Brooke Candy

Alternative Celebrity

The hot, curvy sexy alt music video girl from the Grimes "Genesis" video. She is trying to launch a rap career.

Read more>>>>

Grimes

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Grimes is Claire Boucher, a Canadian bleep bloop singer music project.

Read more>>>>

NSFW: OH NO! Adele has a sex tape!

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!


Adele BB! Say it ain't so! Not a sex tape! Not from u!

Adele was RIDING HIGH after winning like 100 Grammy Awards, but now she has hit rock bottom, especially after this NAUGHTY sex tape was released. I cannot CONFIRM that it is actually her, but it looks a lot like her. Sorta like a large woman with her mouth open as if she is singing "We Couldve had it alllll," except she is probably having a BEAUTIFUL, SENSUAL orgasm in what looks like the back seat of a van.

I HOPE TO GOD that she is NOT property of the MOTHER EFFING BANG BUS!

Ugh. Honestly, whoever is rolling in the deep of Adele's CURVY, AMAZING body is a lucky man. She should have KNOWN BETTER not to let a camera in the bedroom. Last time a man filmed me, he ended up #slutshaming me all over the internet :-(

Adele BB! This better not be u, or else I am RETURNING ur album to WalMart!

If this sex tape is REAL, I am officially ABANDONING Adele, and instead going to ONLY be a Lana Del Rey fan. I'd expect this from the ghost of Amy Winehouse, but NOT from Adele. I truly believed that she was the class of female singers. Now, I'm not so sure.

Does this look like Adele, or just 'some random fat woman'?

PREVIOUSLY
Zooey Deschanel's Naughty Sex Tape!

A Touching Tribute 2 Whitney Houston. We Miss U, BB!

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!

I honestly miss Whitney a lot. I've just been LOST on youtube, watching her videos over and over again. I stumbled across this TOUCHING tribute 2 Whitney BB! Honestly, we're never gonna have another voice like her.

UGH. I hate when I am all emotionally attached 2 celebs because I feel like they were actually there for me thru the years, not like my family who abandoned me as a doorstep baby. Honestly, listening to this Heartbreak Hotel California songs makes me sad bc it reminds me of my ex. :-( He LITERALLY dumped me in a hotel after attempting to human traffick my body. #asshole

U look good, bb!

I honestly hope that Whitney's ghost haunts us. I miss her, and even if she is around in the form of evil spirits, I think we'd all understand.

Mary Carey who? #TeamWhiHou!

Slutwave Songstress Miley Cyrus has a PENIS CAKE for her Birthday! #peen_cakes

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!


Miley BB! I LOVE LOVE LOVE cake! It is honestly my fave! There is this erotic cake shop by my house, and I have ALWAYS been tempted to go in, but I get self conscious. :-(

The truth is, I haven't been around a peen in a long time. One of my girlfriends suggested that I should get a #vibrator, but I am just sorta paranoid about sticking random things in my vajeng. Ya know what I mean? Like do I have to get Clorox wipes and clean it every time I put it in my cooch or just run it under some warm water? Last time I used a vibrator, a battery actually was stuck inside of me for 2 weeks and I had to have surgery to remove getting tangled in my fallopian tubes.

This party looks SO FUN! I want a peen cake! I bet it tastes good, and it gets u turned on! Honestly, I haven't been with a man in so long that I would probably try to make love to that peen. Sometimes I feel like an animal in heat.

Miley BB! I am glad u have BECOME A WOMAN and now u can EXPLORE UR SEXUALITY. The truth is, if I had a BF and a stable RELATIOnSHIP, I would DEFANTELY be introducing food into the bedroom.

Taylor Swift who? #TeamMiley4evr!

Call me next time u go out, girl!

I want a peen cake!

Rihanna humps a 60 year old man on-stage!

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!


RIhanna BB! What r u Thinking? Who is this NEW MYSTERY MAN?

He honestly looks like an old man. I dated a man who looked similar once. He was older, and required viagra to pleasure me, but honestly, even that didn't work because the site of my body made him immediately go soft. It was sad, and I did have many body image issues. I dealt with his weight, and he SNORED. But i snore, too, so Iguess maybe the right lover for me can accept me the way i am.

Rihanna has DARK, SEXY side, and she is riding his belly! Honestly, I dont think a man could penetrate me due to my large bellie. He most likely would have to find a fold of skin and fat to make love to, but would probably have to get a Clorox wipe to ensure that there weren't dirt crusties in that particular fold. It is very difficult to maintain fold hygeine when u are so large, and there are so many small crevices.

Rihanna BB! Save a horse, ride a cowboy... or a 60 year old man!

give me his # if ur not d8ing him.... I hope that means ur finally OVER Chris Brown

Ginger Spice shows off her bangin' bikini bod

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!


OMG I used to lovelovelovelove the Spice Girls back when they were big when I was in my 20s/30s, but now we've all grown up a little bit more.

The only difference is that they still have bangin' bods... and I sorta let myself go. They probably have husbands and hunky BFs... and I am wandering the Earth, wondering if I was destined to be alone after my exBF just came to my house and stole the 32" HDTV that I paid 4.

'If u wanna be my lover, u gotta get with my friends." That doesn't really apply to me. I just wish I had a BF.

Ginger LOOKS GOOD
Scary Who? Mel B who? Mel C who? Posh Who? #TeamGinger #TeamBaby

honestly wish I could be motivated enough to hit the gym [via Sporty Spice]

Jessica Simpson shows off her BIG, BEAUTIFUL body as one of People Magazine's Most Beautiful PPL

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!


Jessica Simpson is my absolute #1 role model...

She actually reminds me a lot of myself. For a while, yes, I was skinny. And I did almost get married to a guy with a barbwire tattoo around his bicep, too (Nick Lachey was NEVER that hot, to be honest). But I know Nick and Jessica didn't work out, and maybe that was because Reality TV put too much pressure on them... But after my ex and I broke up and he started dating a Mexican (no, I am not racist), I did gain a lot of weight, and in many ways, it did LIBERATE ME. (Admittedly, my weight has gone way past that point.)

Jessica was named one of People's MOST BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE! Congrats! She really is beautiful, because CURVES are BEAUTIFUL. U don't have to be skinny to be 'beautiful' according to the media. BIG GIRLS have fun too...

Look at Jess in this video!

Honestly, Jess is a role model for BIG WOMEN every where and an INSPIRATION. It is a shame that she isn't as famous as Lady Gaga because she is just as EMPOWERING.
When does ur new album drop, bb?
I miss ur voice. Way better than xtina Aguelara.... Katy Perry who?

Give props to J Simpson, a true ORIGINAL! U look GOOD and THICK, bb!
Photoshop who? #TeamJessica
Nick Lachey who? #TeamJessica4evr

Unknown Slutwave Lolita returns with a sexi new photo shoot [featuring nip slips]


We first found out about Unknown Slutwave Lolita when she had a diy slutwave concert. After lots of journalistic research, we found out that her name is Bunny Holiday, and she is an aspiring Los Angelesian actress and model. Anyways, she did a new photoshoot with the popular LA alt n00d site Bad Kittys.

Can u see nip [via slip]?

Ur smile is worth 1 million dollars, bb!

In addition, she has a 'new single', but more importantly, more new sexi pix.

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I wanna wake up next 2 u..../on top of u...

Can Bunny Holiday become the #1 indie female in indie?
R u amazed by her?
Does she have the perfect alternative breasts?
Do u <3 her music, or is it 'just as crappy as any other dumb electro'?
Does she make u hornie?
Do u have impure thoughts abt Unknown Slutwave Lolita?

PREVIOUS SEXI PHOTO SHOOT

http://hipsterrunoff.com/altreport/2011/01/nsfw-unknown-slutwave-lolita-re-emerges-does-sexy-nip-slipping-photo-shoot.html

Jennifer Lopez has new video for "On the Floor"! J-Lo is back, bitches!

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!

DON'T BE FOOLED BY THE ROCKS THAT SHE'S GOT
She is still J-Lo from the block, and GIRL KNOWS HOW TO BRING IT.

#onthefloor, bitches! And it has Pitbull too! I love him on that Enrique song!

I am totally #jeal that she lost her baby weight so easily. I need to get a personal trainer bc I actually do want REAL RESULTS, but I will have to deactivate my DVR service to save that money and that would be annoying bc it is a luxury I am used to.

JLoBB, u look good! Keep being healthy! I hope she and Mark Anthony are going strong! I always thought she was too pretty for him, though, but I guess that is true love. #realtalk

Paula Abdul who?
JLo is killing it on AmIdol! I love that show, but I do miss Simon sometimes... He really knows how to tell it how it is, which is VERY REFRESHING in today's bullshit pop culture society.

<3 <3 <3 <3
This song is ALREADY ON my iPod and I burned it on a CD for my 'going out' music for this weekend #ready4theweekend

Katy Perry covers "Born this Way" by Lady Gaga! Slutwave Divas can get along!

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!

As any one who works close to my cubicle can attest to, my JAM OF THE MONTH has been Lady Gaga's "Born This Way."

But what if I told you that KATY PERRY covered that shiznit LIVE. Baby, we were all BORN THIS WAY

#jamoftheyear
#jamofalltime
#jamof4evr

I thought that 2 divas like Katy Perry and Lady Gaga could NEVER get along, but a CLASSY move by Katy to tip her hat to the brilliance of this song!

I used to be really good friends with some1 but then she changed and now we are not friends. Well, it was actually because she stole my boyfriend, but she says we hadn't been dating for 2 years, but I say TRUE FRIENDS DONT DO THAT. Ugh anyways serves her right because he got her pregnant and even though they live in a really nice part of town now and have really good jobs with the city, I am still happy that I am me and my life turned out this way because I can still change who I am and adapt.

Props to these 2 slutwave divas! They really know how to perform with TRUE PASSION.
What's next: Lady Gaga covering "Tweenage Dream"? #YesPlease <3 <3 <3
#putUrPawsUp

#BORNTHISWAY, BITCHES!

Kim Kardashian launches slutwave music project, crushes it hard!

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!

Yall! I was listening 2 Ryan Seacrest this morning, and Kim Kardashian dropped her new single.

It's called "Jam"

She really brings the house down! This is a CERTIFIED CLUB BANGER, bitches!

Keep playing my jam!

Gaga Who?

2 all the haters who say that Kim Kardashian is not talented. What do u have 2 say now, bitches?
TURN ME UP, TURN ME UP, TURN ME TURN ME UP...
It's safe to say... Kim Kardashian is my new favourite slutwave singer...

#TeamKardashian
#SeacrestOut
#TurnItUpDJ

Ke$ha unveils new slutwave remix album cover

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!


Check out this sexi album art for Ke$ha's new Remix album "I am the Dance Commander."

She looks sooooo goooooooood <3 <3 <3

These remixes have 2 be off the chain... U know Ke$ha is only interested in partying *<:-)

Gaga Who? Britney who? <3 <3 <3 #TeamKesh

I wanna write 'party' on my arm and party with her soo hard
<3

See yall at the club... find me on the dance floor shakin' my ass 2 this
(Ugh I gotta hit the gym bbl yall)

Gwyneth Paltrow rides slutwaves on the beach, shows off bangin bikini body, yall!

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!


Look at Gwyneth Paltrow lookin all good on the beach as she rides slutwaves. U gotta give her props for stayin' healthy even though she is like 40 years old and married 2 that guy from Coldplay "Chris Martin."

I feel sad because they don't have a very public relationship. Maybe she regrets marrying him because now she realizes that his music is all cheesybally, but u know the old saying... "U live... U learn."

Props 2 her 4 shedding the baby weight off after u had Apple and eating right... I really need 2 go on a diet+lifestyle modifications... but maybe after this weekend because we are going out to Chili's 4 my bff's BD. Margarita time!

<3 u Gwnny<3

Let us know when the album drops now that ur 'Glee famous'. <3 <3 <3

And if Chris Martin isn't making u happy... we won't hold it against u if ur single and ready 2 mingle...
Especially with that body... #jeal

View more photos of Gwyneth Paltrow in her sexi bikini riding slutwaves on the beach

Latina Slutwaver Shakira goes on d8 with her soccer player BF

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!


I love Shakira not only bc of her fun spicy latina music, but also because of her curvy Latina build. Say what you will about white blooded American slutwavers... but there's something a little bit CaLiEnTe abt Shakira and her big a$$.

Anyways, she went on a d8 with Barcelona Spanish soccer player Gerard Pique. He seems kinda keut. Soccer isn't very big in America, so maybe u should d8 Colby Bryant of the Los Angeles Lakers or something.

Good job, Shak Dadi!

I'll bet their car converted in2 a hovercraft, and they rode over slutwaves all nite <3 <3 <3

God bless u, Shakky... Shake the big Latina butt 4 us 4evr

Every1 thought that Selena could never be replaced...
but u did just that.

RIP Selena
#shakira4evr

Slutwave songstress Ke$ha gives some bro a lap dance on stage

Photo via SPIN.com

ke$ha slutwave
I just saw this picture from a recent Ke$ha show. She looks like she is giving some twink dude a lap dance on stage, which is pretty chill of her. I've gone to some titty bars, and Ke$ha definitely has the personal brand of a 'white trash stripper who swears she is only gonna be there until she has enough money to pay her rent/car insurance.' Props 2 her though for pulling the old 'grind ur knee into a dude's penis during a lapdance' gimmick.

It seems like she is really buying in2 the whole slutwave thing. She is kicking off a tour (probably not arenas because she isn't as famous as Lady Gaga), and seems to be pulling out all the slutwave tricks possible.

The 23-year-old comic-provocateur-musician gave the tween-filled crowd wall-to-wall electro-dance jams, costume changes, fake blood, 8-foot penises, and two tons of glitter —not to mention a generous amount of lovingly applied baby oil.

Ur telling me that during the Ke$ha live show, she lubes up her vagina with fake blood, glitter, and baby oil, then proceeds 2 ride an 8-foot penis for 3 hours?

"Now that's what I call slutwave!" -from the creators of Now that's What I Call Music

Do u want to see Ke$ha live?
Would u order a lappy from her?
If u saw Ke$ha in a tittie bar, would u approach her for a lap dance, or would it be a 'sympathy lappy' 4 an ugly stripper?
Have yall ever purchased a 'lap dance' / 'table dance'?
Will Ke$ha's career 'tank' or can she get a lot of plastic surgery and get way hotter and even more successful?

BREAKING: Lady Gaga shows up 2 Grammies in giant egg

lady gaga grammys grammies egg
Apparently the Grammies are about to start, and it must have degenerated into some sort of MTV VMA type of show that is just some sort of 'fame balling meme of the night contest.' Guess it just demonstrates that music doesn't even matter any more. It is just abt 'fame' and 'zany photo opps.' Lady Gaga probably already 'won' Best Meme of the Night even though the awards haven't started because she showed up in some egg. Not sure if this is a metaphor, or if she is just trying 2 be 'zany-sational.'

Really chill of her 2 have slaves of many different colours carrying her in egg-format.

Is Lady Gaga 'the ultimate performance artist'?
Is she a 'genius'?
Do lamestreamers <3 'anything she does'?
Do u think Madonna is 'pissed' that she never did anything this conceptual and was basically only ever a 'simple slutwaver'?
Do u wish we could throw her egg into a fire or maybe hardboil her ass?
Does this mean that slutwave is being 'reborn'?
lady gaga grammy egg

Do u think lamestreamers everywhere will get egg pods of their own?

Is this the death of slutwave?
Is this the beginning of the egg wave era?
egg wave as seen on tv
Will Shannon Gaga have an aneurysm 2nite?
Will Vampire Weekend show up 2 the Grammys in a carton of egg whites?

Lady Gaga

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Lady Gaga is the #1 modern slutwave artist of all time who tries 2 be all 'artsy' and mainstream ppl think she is 'interesting.'

Read more>>>>

Does Katy Perry still look like a Grade A slutwaver without photoshop magic?

Katy Perry photoshopped Rolling Stone fat
I was looking at this .gif of Katy Perry that shows how Rolling Stone had to 'photoshop' her in order to make her look '100% hot.' They took a lil bit off the tummie, popped the breasts so they weren't just 'big and saggy', and added some more colour/shine 2 her skin, and probably a lot more stuff that makes her look 'perfect.' Maybe Rolling Stone thought that it would 'save their magazine' by making Katy Perries breasts look way bigger.

It sorta made me wonder...
Is Lady Gaga the most authentic slutwaver because she is kinda ugly, but she just compensates by starving herself and exposing as much of her body as possible?
Has Katy Perry just used 'Hollywood magic' 2 become a top slutwaver?
Do magazines 'cheat' 2 airbrush + photoshop women 2 look hot?
Is our society 'truly effed up' when a slutwaver can't even show her goodies without the pressure to 'look perfect'?

Shame on Rolling Stone. Shame on Katy Perrier. They are rlly not helping tween body image issues.

For all of our female readers, it's okay 2 show off ur body even if ur 'thick.' Real Women Don't Photoshop.

G-d Blss us, every1.

Alt Has No Size
alt has no size
LOVE HAS NO SIZE.

NSFW: Lady Gaga does slutwave wet-tshirt photo shoot, shows off her juicy nips


I don't know what Supreme is. If I had to guess, it is some sort of progressive pizza that has a multitude of toppings on it. However, it seems like Supreme's brand has been taken 2 such great heights now that Lady Gaga did a slutwave wet-t-shirt photo shoot featuring a Supreme shirt. The photographs were shot by Terry Richardson. Not sure if he is a 'legit photographer' or if he just has broads 'get naked', but maybe that's what professional photographers are supposed 2 do.

Here she is showing off some nips. Saying 'have u done a wet t-shirt photo shoot yet, Katy Perry?" In addition, you can make out the outline of her vagina lips.

Here is Lady Gaga wearing some 'conceptual stripper shoes', showing off her bare ass, about 2 go skateboarding or something. Maybe needs 2 wear a helmet. Gonna throw down some Ollies/chill down the half pipe.

Doing the classic 'pussie rub', teaching tween girls that u can still have fun while ur abstinent.

Here is a good look at her areolas. Not TOO irregular or anything.

Should Larry Gaga 'get implants'?
Will Lady Gaga always be the #1 slutwaver?
would yall rather throw down a chill sesh with Dov Charney or Terry Richardson?
Is Supreme ur fave kinda pizza, or are u vegetarian?
Is this a great response by the pizza industry to the popular 'Got Milk' campaign?
Do u care abt Lady Gaga?
How do u feel 2 live on an Earth/planet where Lady Gaga is the #1 most popular human based on Facebook LIKES, Twitter followers, and youtube views?
Will Lady Gaga get a 10.0 now that we have learned that only mainstream artists can achieve 10.0s in the modern world?
Is a wet t-shirt nip peep the same as a 'nip slip'?

Lady Gaga

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Lady Gaga is the #1 modern slutwave artist of all time who tries 2 be all 'artsy' and mainstream ppl think she is 'interesting.'

Read more>>>>

Terry Richardson

Alternative Celebrity, Alternative Entrepreneur

Terry Richardson is a photographer who takes pix of mainstream celebrities and naked alt broads.

Read more>>>>
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