In the spirit of the Olympics, I figured I should try to find out who the world's ALT-est athletes are. Athletes aren't just people who play sports. They have personalities, too. While most are just the typical ass holes who probably just 'listen to hiphop to get pumped up before games', some athletes display that they exist in a different world than the rest of the cliched professional athlete fraternity.
I want to support the alt-est athletes in the world.
It might be Steve Nash and Thierry Henry.
But Steve Nash also has a bro-mance with Baron Davis.
It might be Cristiano Ronaldo since he is orange and has a fauxhawkmullet.
But Kobe Bryant drives a Delorean and grew up in Italy. That's pretty authentic.
Fernando Valenzuela was significant to the Mexis/southern Californians. He was the first person to ever wear a Dodger cap.
Even David Beckham wears Dodger caps now
Is it alt to play American soccer + live in Los Angeles?
Dennis Rodman had a pretty krazie personal brand. He also banged Madonna.
Alex Rodriguez also banged Madonna. Does that make him alt?
Kerri Strug might be a lil alt.
Was Tonya Harding ALT before or after she got THICK? Is it okay to call mean people 'fatties'?
Greg Louganis was GHEY and he hit his head on the diving board. That was around when people didn't 'get' AIDs so it was kind of a big deal. Glad I live in educated, tolerant times.
Brian Boitano was also a GHEY Olympic icon. Wonder if China lets their athletes be 'gay.'
Rafael Nadal wears capri pants.
Michael Phelps was pretty alt when he had his post-post-ironic mainstream moustache.
Without a moustache, he is just an awkward freak bodied boy.
What about NBA player Kyle Korver. He looks like a caveman had a baby with Ashton Kutcher.
Ron Artest is pretty zany!
Remember the time he was so alt that he attacked white people in the stands?
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuPBbKCW1no&hl=en&fs=1]
Barry Bonds is pretty authentic for using roids.
Mike Tyson got a sillie face tatty! Such a sillie, African-American personal brand!
Cuba Gooding Jr. won over the hearts of America when he was an athlete in that movie.
But the cast of the SANDLOT was pretty alt. They wore vintage clothing.
Remember that time Michael Vick raised all of those dogs to fight other dogs? He's chillin in jail, makin friends and stuff.
<3 pet owners <3
pet owners = authentic
Sprinters with no legs are pretty meaningful-core. Pretty authentic.
I think this specific pair of Air Jordans are pretty alt.
No1 likes the Spurs and they are better than every1 else. Does that make them 'hipster' according to the commonly accepted definion?
The Williams Sisters are fashion icons. They used 2 cheat to let 1 another win.
WHO IS THE ALT-EST ATHLETE IN THE WORLD?
IS IT MAINSTREAM TO 'ENJOY THE OLYMPICS'?
Do u care about ur country?
N e ways... how about the Opening Ceremonies? They were designed so well. I minored in performance art, so I genuinely appreciate stuff like that. 
What's more important: sports or music?
Which industry will die first: sports or music?
When will people believe that they are entitled to 'watching sports' for free?
When will people believe that they are entitled to 'experiencing music' for free?
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The NBA regular season came to a close last night, and the Arcade Fire was in the greater-Phoenix area to take in a Phoenix Suns game. Steve Nash is a Canadian 2-time MVP who often tries to be 'more alt'/'indie' than San Antonio Spurs player Matt Bonner. However, his team didn't qualify for the playoffs because Amare Stoudamire was secretly their best player for the past several years and he went to 'save' The New York Knicks. It seems like Win Butler, Will Butler, Regine Chassagne, and Steve Nash were all canoodling/bronoodling.
As you can see, Win Butler is wearing a 'totally retro' Hakeem Olajuwon jersey, paying a tribute to the Houston Rockets who inspired him to write 'The Suburbs'. Regine was dressed 'like an Americanized female' in some sort of Forever 21 gear. Will Butler still appears to have a Win-inferiority complex. Steve Nash was trying his best to look alt, even though his wife recently cheated on him with one of his black teammates and had an 'oreo baby.' #staystrong, Steve.
Sorta miss his blonde 1990s alt hair
The Suns went on to beat the Spurs later that night, and we can't help but think they were inspired by a VIP exclusive performance by the Arcade Fire in the locker room.
Is Steve Nash 'hella indie'?
Is he the alt-est NBA player?
Do the Arcade Fire need 2 'stop being streamers' who watch the NBA?
Do u think Regine <3s Win's interest in basketball, or is she just 'trying to be a good wife' and 'let the boys watch the game'?
Do u think u could beat Win Butler at basketball?
Did Steve Nash deserve his MVP awards, or is he overrated because he is white?
Do u think the Arcade Fire deserve 2 say that they are 'from Canada'?
Have yall ever had 'VIP courtside locker room' access at a relevant sporting event? How does it compare to 'VIP' at a relevant alt event?
The Arcade Fire is a 2k0s indie band that went mainstream because their songs sound like meaningful anthems. They pretend to be Canadian but Win Butler (lead singer) is actually from Houston, TX.
Regine Chassagne is wife of Win Butler. Many say she should be kicked out of the Arcade Fire because she has a terrible voice.
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