I think the worst part about being a girl is having a protective father. Ever since I entered my tweenage years, he has been very protective of my body. I think he didn’t want me to turn into ‘a lil slut’ or something like that, and now that I am grown up, I understand what he was trying to protect. He wanted me to be his lil girl forever. He didn’t want me to be a ‘woman’ who was ‘mad objectified’ by miscellaneous men and bros. Sorta wish I had a ‘cool dad’ instead of an ‘overprotective father.’

When women ‘cover up’, it’s because they have a high level of self-respect. I remember when God was still sculpting my breasts from ‘tween ant mounds’ into ‘beautiful, sweet titties.’ I was unsure of my own body. Would I be ‘flat’? Would I be ‘hot’? Maybe in the end, it didn’t matter. Maybe if I move to ‘the middle east’, I might become ‘a better person’ since I will ‘keep my shit sacred’ [via covered up]. Just want a man who ‘loves me’ to see ‘my goods.’

For a while I felt embarrassed that my parents only let me wear 1 piece bathing suits, and then when I bought my bikini, they made me wear a tank top underneath. It’s weird how my parents just wanted to protect me, and my body, and possibly my own body image. Not sure if it was ‘for the best’ because I went through a rebellious phase [via drugs, sex, and bloghaus].

Sorta just wanna be confident in who I am–not give a shit about societal fashion norms, and try to carve out my own personal brand in this zany world of ours.

Please use the comments section of this post to share your own stories of dealing with ur body image, ur protective father, and growing up in the modern, sexual world.

I was looking for summer looks, and I noticed this bro wearing huge athletic shoulder pads. I think that they are supposed to be ‘protective.’ Might be inspired by ‘all of the drama in Iran.’ Like the whole world is about to turn into ‘a massive battlefield’, and we all have to be prepared for ‘riot police’/'nuclear weapons being dropped.’

I kinda feel relieved that Obama is in office now. If George W. Bush was in office, he would probably make us ‘nuke’ Iran, and we would probably have to go to war with them. Would be hella worried about ‘getting drafted.’ Not sure if I want to be drafted into a war. No sure how that would go. Wonder if the military camps would have wifi. Wonder if I could take my Macbook, or if I could only use compys in compy labs. Wonder if I could still download relevant mp3s from mp3 blogs.

I don’t wanna be drafted, yall. :-(

N e ways… Think that football pads seem pretty ‘alt’ in our modern world, but might become ‘mainstream’ soon. Might buy some ‘leopard print’ leggings to set myself apart. Just looking for a summer look.

Sorta reminds me of the most alternative bro of all time, John Alt.

http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/08/the-worlds-most-alternative-athletes.html

Do yall have any good ideas 4 summer loox?

Still searching for my ’summer look.’ I know that fanny packs have been something ‘ironic’ to mention since the beginning of time. But srsly yall…I think that fanny packs are actually really functional now that I have finished my design school curriculum. I was fortunate enough to major in Product Design & Engineering, and had a class taught by the guy who designed the first generation iPod Shuffle.

I feel like soon, ppl will want to carry ‘less belongings’ than ever. All u really need is ur debit card and ur smartphone. We will soon eliminate pockets, and either have specially designed pouches for specific items, or perhaps some sort of ‘camelbak’ that you can fill with the beverage of ur choice.

I’m not very creative, but I do come up with good ideas sometimes. Sorta wish that bars would sell pre-loaded camelbaks full of beer / well drinks / sparks / etc. Feel like it would make business more efficient, and decrease ‘foot traffic’ within the bar, allowing people to enjoy themselves’ even more. U could even encourage people to ‘bring in their own huge container.’ Might just use a camelpak because I am worried about dehydrating in the summer sun.

Yall… I’m just looking for a better way to live–and I think the best way to improve your life is to bring as many ‘kick ass products’ as possible into your life. I don’t really understand why ‘we were put on this Earth’, but I do know that u can do whatever is in ur power to make urself look kewl/have a ‘functional wardrobe.’

might buy an iPhone 4.0

Previous Fanny Pack Coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/tag/fanny-packs

Photo via GorillaVsBear

I was looking at the popular alternative mp3 blog, GorillavsBears, and I noticed that the GorillaVsBro took some pictures of popular conceptual musician Panda Bear, aka stage name “Noah Lennox”, from the band Animal Collective. I saw that he was wearing a shirt that looked pretty kewl. The shirt featured several wolves ‘chilling.’ I thought it might be a t-shirt for a band that was named ‘Wolves’ or ‘Wolf Collective’ or something, but it was actually just a shirt promoting the generic wolf brand. Wolves for Wolves’ Sake.

I feel like it might be a modern take on the famous ‘child predator glasses‘ trend. It is a look that says ‘I am a bro who values different things than u. I live in a different world than u, and I am not searching for the same things in life than u r. I am part of some sort of collective of animals who don’t care about material things’ and so forth, and so on… Sort of like how child predators ‘just wanna get off with kidz’, WolfBros ‘just want to be a part of nature’ or something like that. Roaming the earth.

It’s weird how we are in this Am Appy era of solids + stripes, but it might be time to ‘break free’ from this minimal branding, and start wearing t-shirts with various nouns on them, represented via images (no words).

Srsly. The more I see Wolf t-shirts, the more it ‘makes sense.’

Seems like ‘wolf’ might be my power animal [via the Fighting Clubs]

Wolf Altbro #1

Wolf Altbro #2?

Wolves roam together in packs, sort of like how I envision a ‘perfect scene’ where every1 gets along and there is no ‘drama’

Wolves can also be ‘lone bros’ who ‘just chill by themselves’ and are ‘happy’ with a life of solitude

Might ‘convert’ a wolf t-shirt into some sort of tank top for the summer months

This shirt sorta represents being American, but also being a wolf bro

People who have read lots of wikipedia pages will have found out that ‘indie music’ is actually short of ‘Indian music’, not ‘independent music.’ Wolves and Buffalo were the most important animals to injuns.

“I am a lone bro.
Lone wolf bro
Alone in this modern world
searching for my pack of bros
to roam this earth
in search of meaning
we are comfy in nautica bros.”
-Panda Bear, 2014

R u gonna buy a wolf t-shirt?
Do u believe in the wolf t-shirt as a relevant summer look?
Does n e 1 know how to convert my blank Am Appy t-shirts into Wolf Tees?
Is Panda Bear a bro who ‘gets it’?
What will u be wearing this summer?

I’m searching mad hard for a summer look, yall. Just need to ‘keep it fresh.’ I am sort of looking for something that fits in with the modern world–not trying to copy aesthetics from the past several years. Thinking about getting some sort of bowl cut, but then also possibly having ‘a lil tail’ in the back [via mullet]. I just want people to know that I am ‘willing to adapt’ to trends, and that I’m not really stuck with just 1 mediocre look.

This summer, I think I want to be ‘post-sexual’, maybe a little bit like an androgynalt. Don’t want people to know what sex I am. I want ppl 2 b attracted to me for ‘what’s on the inside’ and not because of bullshit biological factors like ‘gender’ and ’sexual organs.’ I just feel like we need to start realizing that you can make love with any1 if we want to have peace in the Middle East. We need to stop worrying about bullshit societal and biological norms.

But srsly yall, do u know any good summer looks? Wonder if gladiator sandals will come back–saw them selling some at WalMart.

Should I just go to the gym to ‘get ripped’ then buy some board shorts and get a summer job as a lifeguard?

If I get a record hat, will it melt in the sun if I wear it to a pool partie?

Yall I need yalls help. do u know any good ’summer stores’ other than the local thrift store “The Old Navy”?

Would you prefer the 7 inch model or the 12 inch model of the ‘Record Hat’? I am considering starting a company that makes hats and caps out of minidisc players, cassette tapes, and Microsoft Zunes.

This might be my favourite female summer look so far.

[Photo by FCHNTR]