Lana Del Rey's meme buzz album cycle
was an important GAME CHANGING business case in the music industry
that we are only now starting to see the lasting effects of.
She changed every thing
Del Rey proved that no one really cares how the music sounds.
Instead, people love prettiness, controversy, and the construction of the idea of 'fame.'
By 'tanking' on SNL, she became a household name.
It was worth it
2 achieve 'mad album sales'
and propel herself into the lenses of paparazzi cameras everywhere
The LDR 'buzzslut' strategy will be copied by many females
eager 2 get in headlines with lewd acts and controversial moments
where u can argue that 'the world is cyberbullying her'
because no1 ever wants to hold a woman accountable for her actions
'even when she is asking for it' Women and soft-voiced cultural commentators will rush to 'protect' a woman
As long as she produces controversial content and is 'mad hot'
[via riding Lindsay Lohan waves]
protecting the eternal stream of her content
M.I.A. deployed a similar 'LOOK AT ME, YALL' strategy
But I'm not sure if any1 even noticed
because her finger was lost in the background of her sillie outfit
And no1 even understands her when she raps
It is a dark time for women in the music industry
Lana ensured that they must 'pull stunts' to get attention
To 'get people talking'
As a feminist would say, 'all female press is good female press'
So I maybe M.I.A.s act of social terrorism
was good 4 female artists
doing big thangs
big thangs be poppin in 2k11
Who knows if it will help her sell albums
become a true house hold name
or if her time is 'effing up'
because every1 is 'tired of her bullshit'
She probably needs to get brand management consulting
from Zooey Deschanel and Tavi
to learn what makes other women pretend to respect independent females
instead of groaning bc she is obvi trying SO hard...
This is a brand new era of 'slutwave'
It is not about showing off ur body
implying that you are a 'slut' with ur costume
But instead, being willing 2 'sell urself' at all costs
Humiliate urself... slutshame urself...
Give up ur dignity
Just to be 'burned at the stake'
[via becoming a social media pariah]
So many talking heads
talking blogs
harvesting content farms
Can n e 1 even deliver a seminal cultural moment n e more?
After LDR =
Welcome 2 the Slutwave 2.0
How far will u go
2 inject urself in2 'the conversation'?
We Are All Made Of #Hashtags
******
Does this have 'nothing 2 do with female artists' and everything 2 do with M.I.A. being 'an effing dumb ass diva'?
Did MIA just get caught up in the moment?
Was this the easiest prediction ever? [via Carlestradamus 'calling it'] [link]
Has Lana Del Rey been a breakthru for female artists who want 2 get into the spotlight, or has she made it more difficult than ever for female artists to get attention for 'the right reasons'?
Did M.I.A. 'ruin the Super Bowl'?
Should we all just eat Doritos and watch football 4evr?
M.I.A. has been confirmed as a performer in the Super Bowl halftime show this upcoming Sunday. She is known for being outspoken, pulling crazy antics, and doing anything she can to get in the headlines. M.I.A.'s ego is bigger than evr, and she loves 'making a scene.' This will not end well.
M.I.A. will wear something stupid. Usually when female performers wear something 'stupid' and/or 'sexy', they are often called 'fashion icons.' M.I.A. will probably wear something stupid. It will probably involve a controversial image, or maybe something that says, "I Hate America" in a different language or something. Maybe she will wear a print of George W. Bush being executed or something. She could also 'pull out her nip' and show off her brown areolas just 2 be a part of American culture forever. Although she loathes mnstrm American culture, it seems as if she feels particularly validated by her inclusion in Madonna's halftime show.
M.I.A. hates America, and she sees herself as a terrorist. Although M.I.A. is married to some billionaire heir, she still identifies herself as an 'outsider'/foreigner who the government is trying to censor. In the Super Bowl performance, she will have more eyes on her than ever before. This will be her moment to say 'I HATE U AMERICA.' She will not rely on a backpack bomb, but instead what she believes is a 'truth bomb.' This bomb could be bigger than the #LDRSNL tankjob bomb. But I guess she'll sell even more albums if her bomb leaves a big enough crater on the cultural landscape.
M.I.A. hates censorship.
Without question, M.I.A. is always looking to 'push the boundaries', even though it is usually to propel herself further into the spotlight/focus of cultural discussion on the internet. While sometimes her art has had 'a message', she is primarily a shock artist. There is no way that M.I.A. will let this opportunity pass her by without 'doing something stupid' 'in the name of art.' For all we know, she might blow up a herd of gingers on the field.
M.I.A. isn't actually a good rapper or performer.
Most of M.I.A.'s live performances are defined by heavy music, and her sort of jibbering over the lyrics, prancing around, wearing something stupid. This might not go over well on TV. It would be wise of Madonna to minimize M.I.A.'s role in the performance, and not allow her to deliver any live lyrics. Madonna has to know that this could be the beginning of the end of her career, because M.I.A. will stop at nothing to raise her public profile. The Super Bowl might mean everything to a lamestream Middle American, but M.I.A. has to be salivating at the opportunity to be remembered forever as 'The Brown Girl Who Ruined The Big Football Game', potentially replacing Janet Jackson if she is willing to show nip.
Will u be watching the Super Bowl halftime performance?
Will M.I.A. 'ruin it all'?
Can M.I.A. go lamestream after this performance?
Can u argue that M.I.A. is the first 'indie'/'blog incubated' artist that has performed at the Super Bowl?
Does this performance represent a landmark moment for indie music?
Or does it just prove that M.I.A.'s status as a major label artist/billionaire heir has her hobnobbing with celebs like Madonna?
Will M.I.A. just be 'boring' at the Super Bowl, and she will launch a micro-managed album cycle that is not interesting and ultimately tanks?
Sometimes I wonder if mainstream society 'cyberbullies me' into caring abt mainstream events. I'll be sitting alone, in my room, on my computer, connected 2 social networks and then every1 starts talking abt a relevant [TRENDING] event. Then it's like, 'I am afraid of being left out' so I'll tune in, but I'll have a detached, snarky 'take' on what I am watching, just to try to preserve my transcendent identity, then I will 'enter into the discussion' and broadcast my high level thoughts on a low-level, mainstream event. I wonder if any1 even 'enjoys' watching the Super Bowl any more. It seems like the mainstream bro version of the MTV VMAs--just an event that exists 2 generate 'something 2 talk abt'... but maybe that's life... a series of events that u get 2 talk abt with other ppl.
Did u watch the Super Bowl?
Is the Super Bowl 'hella mainstream'?
What was the most meme-able meme of the Super Bowl?
Did Christina Aguilera ruin the Super Bowl with her slutwave lips 'butchering' our great country's national anthem?
Don't really 'get' American Football. It seems like it was some sort of 'WWE wrestling event' this year because these bros won championship belts [via steroids].
Or they won the opportunity to sacrifice little pageant girls 2 the Footbal Gods
I just stayed at home instead of going to my local Chili's Grill and Bar located in the Midwestern United States.
Costco provided some great options 4 snacks + adult beverages. Here's me + my bros. We have a SICK big screen TV [via the 1990s]
FOX accidentally started showing the Big Lebowski during the game. Here is the dude with the moustache.
Not sure if people even care about the game. Feels like every1 just watches so they don't miss out on 'the most meme-worthy events.' Here is Cameron Diaz feeding Alex Rodriguez some steroids.
Photos via mocksession
'We are internet famous for being famous on the internet, and sometimes we are in movies. The internet will keep us young forever' -tweens + Ashton Kutch + Demi Mores
Don't forget abt our troops while u watch the game / read this blog / do anything 'sweet' bc ppl somewhere else are fighting 4 ur freedom.
Did yall watch the Super Bowl Half time show ft 'The Black Peys'?
Sorta wonder if the Black Eyed Peas 'ripped off' Daft Punk's 15 year old gimmick
I guess u have to put zany carvings in ur head when ur not as famous as Will.I.Am or Fergie, and ur not a weird albino dude.
'We are the world's #1 pep rally band.'
Does n e 1 know who is 'actually a Black Eyed Peas fan?'
Never really heard the Guns and Roses, but deceased lead singer Axl Rose is certainly 'rolling over in his grave.'
Celebrated the Black Eyed Peas halftime performance with a Four Loko bath
Not sure if there were even any 'meme-worthy' commercials because every1 would rather experience memes on demand [via youtube streaming] instead of having 2 watch a football game.
I guess the 'buzzworthiest commercial' was GROUPON because they 'made fun of Tibet.' It seems like the commercial provided great commentary on America's Deal Hunting and Coupon Hoarding Society, searching for savings within our own culture, as opposed to looking to save globally. However, I think mainstreamers (the ppl they are trying to get to sign up 4 deals) are probably 'pissed' at this commercial because mainstreamers want to be considered 'good people.
Do yall care abt Tibet, or just getting sweet deals in ur inbox [via Groupon]?
Does this mean I have 2 sign up for a Living Social account?
Should GROUPON offer deals in Tibet?
Is this the end of Groupon?
Would yall trade 'the death of Tibet' for eternal coupons + deals?
At least we got to see Doritos finally 'embrace their brand' and the perception of the 'borderline retarded' bros who eat their chips.
Would yall rather eat Cheeto Dust or Dorito Dust? Have yall ever licked a peen with Dorito dust on it?
I wonder if it is considered 'cheating' to 'go viral' during the Super Bowl because you are paying a fee 2 get exposure to a mainstream lamestream audience.
Feels like this post is 'really suffering' because there weren't enough blogworthy moments at the Super Bowl. They probably need a 'red carpet' so that there can be more pix of slutwave humans showing off their breasteses.
Do yall care about the game?
Did Troy Aikman really deserve 2 be the MVP?
'Sorry bro. Guess u lost ur swagger.'
R u happy that 'America's Team' won?
Should the Black Eyed Peas be executed during 1 of their shows?
Is the GROUPON CEO 'the chillest bro on the planet'?
Do yall hope that they pave over Tibet and build the Groupon HQ there?
If u were a mainstreamer, would u sign up for Groupon or LivingSocial?
What were the #1 memes of the Super Bowl?
Will Aaron Rodgers 'save' 2k11 [via TOMBOY]?
R u worried abt Tom Brady + Peyton Manning?
Did the Saint let down post-Katrina New Orleans by not winning?
Should I just get a 'tug job' [via feet] from Rex Ryan's wife?
What are the mainstream-est days of the year?
Is the Super Bowl = 'The Super Bowl of Mainstream Events for Bros, Lamestreamers, Mainstreamers, and Middle American wavers'?
Last nite, I watched the Super Bowl, because I am currently working in a mainstream office environment, and I secretly feel insecure when every1 else is talking abt a mainstream event, yet I don't have a progressive opinion to 'share' that goes over every1' heads. The Super Bowl seems like a more fulfilling viewing event than awards shows like the Oscars or Grammys or the BCS championship because you have 2 forces/teams 'battling' to be the champion, instead of just voter opinions and computer algorithms.
Did u have a 'Super Bowl party' with chips, dips, meats, brewskies, and 'bros'?
I feel like the Super Bowl is the 1 event all year that really unites the country. Thanksgiving + Christmas are so forced, but I feel like every1 really 'comes together for the Super Bowl. If the two teams are 'compelling', 'exciting' or just 'from a big market', the Super Bowl usually goes well. Every1 in America was 'some what aware' that a football game was occurring, because their lives' were made more meaningful/inconvenienced by it. Just want to be able to have 'meaningful discussions' about 'the big game', then feel a little bit disenfranchised with life because I don't 'care' about it the same way other ppl do.
Did alt stuff happen during the super bowl?
I feel 'most interested' in the alternative landmark events that happened during the Super Bowl. To most alts/ternatives, the 2k10 Super Bowl will be known as 'the year the Arcade Fire scored the soundtrack 2 the Super Bowl.' Every several minutes, the meaningful chorus of their hit song "Wake Up" played over and over again, as it was cobranded with the NFL. I wonder if their song was better utilized in the marketing campaign of Where The Wild Things Are.
In terms of 'selling out', this might be the biggest case of 'sell out' in the history of indie music. Theoretically, there was no larger stage viewed by a wider audience than the Super Bowl. I feel like the Super Bowl will begin to showcase former indie bands during half time in the second half of the decade. For all we know, Arcade Fire negotiated a Super Bowl halftime 'guarantee' into their contract for this licensing.
To combat 'selling out', it was important for the Arcade Fire to send out an email blast to relevant sites+bloggers, letting consumers know that they were 'going to give the licensing money to Haiti.' It seems like this was a 'good gesture', but as the Arcade Fire transforms into a mindie (mainstream indie) band, you can't help but wonder if that was a 'calculated' move.
I feel like they did this both 'for a good cause', and to have another positive story/brand bit in their wikipedia entry.
Also saw the Grizzly Bear song "Two Weeks" in a Volkswagen commercial. It seems like that 'jingle' was created for mass markets, and it was only a matter of time before it was utilized in a commercial. Volkswagen may or may not be an alt brand. Possibly is a B-rate 'trustafarian' brand. It makes me feel better knowing that Grizz Bear is being compensated instead of 'giving their money away to Haitians' after so many people texted 'HAITI' to 90999. It seems like a lot of tweens probably already gave enough money 2 save Haiti, or am I 'being naive/Americentric'?
'Just sort of relieved the New Orleans Saints won, reminding us that 'we had our own disaster' on American soil, and we need 2 fix what is wrong IN America before we invade Iraq/Iran + help with foreign crises. Fire Obama.'
-progressive conservative/liberal
Also saw some Google commercial. I guess they have to 'advertise because they are a lifestyle brand, and fear Bing + Yahoo searches. The concept of their commercial idealizes/romanticizes the idea of studying abroad in France, meeting a cute French Broad, then importing her to the states and putting an exotic blooded child in her.
Is Google 'misleading' consumers by promising them happiness/success if they continue to solve their problems by googling them?
Does this commercial make u want 2 study abroad?
Was sorta surprised to see Alt Famous Photographer Noah Kalina in a Dodge Charger Super Bowl Commercial. Noah Kalina went 'mad viral' because he took a picture of himself every day for 6 years, then made a viral youtube video abt it.
The commercial seems to be an admission that 'life as a man sucks', but there are simple pleasures that you can enjoy during ur lifetime. One of them is 'driving an awesome car.' Another one might be 'cheating on your wife.' Another one is probably 'eating 5000 calorie meals and dying from heart failure.' Just want 2 make commercials that appeal the middle American Man.
Not sure how much 'alt stuff' happened during the actual game. Think that the Super Bowl is just a 'consumer expo' sort of like some sort of global convention [via web conferencing].
Does n e 1 know if Hurricane Katrina is 'officially over' now that the New Orleans Saints won the Super Bowl?
Drew Brees' son also seemed pretty alt after his dad won the Super Bowl. He put on some 'huge headphones' and acted like he 'didn't give a damn' about the Super Bowl.
Do u think he was listening to Animal Collective in order to make the experience more meaningful?
Also, some 'cool grandpa' band called The Who played halftime. It seemed like they were some sort of parody of a classic rock band, but I am not really familiar with music from before the year 2000.
Peyton Manning was apparently going to be 'the Greatest Quarterback of All Time' if he won this game, but he 'choked bigtime.' It seems like this loss will cost him millions of dollars. He had a great opportunity to become 'the most marketable athlete to old white people' because of Tiger Woods' fall from grace, but he won't be able to command the millions of dollars that a true champion could have.
Worried about his body language. Like he is a 'sore loser'/not a 'genuine leader.'
Not sure how Americans would feel knowing that the UEFA Champions League Final gets more global viewers than the Super Bowl. As an American, I thought that the Modern 'National Past Time' (the NFL) had a global reach, but I think more global ppl are into soccer + NBA basketball [via Yao Ming China effect].
Can't believe soccer/real 'football' is still the global game. Worried that American Football might be as 'retarded' as the American Metric System.
Commercial Analysis
Here is some in-depth consumer analysis some of the most relevant commercials of the Super Bowl.
Saw this McDonalds commercial where two black athlete NBA players play a game of 'HORSE.' Dwight Howard and LeBron James are two of the most marketable NBA players because they are young, and don't have a bad reputation yet. They continue to attempt 'out of this world' dunks which are created with visual effects. This commercial seems like it is supposed to appeal to 'stupid people' who think dunks are 'effing sweet' and are not aware of the societal impact of the fast food industry. Professional athletes enjoy fast food because of their limited income upbringings and their rigorous practice schedule which enables them to burn 3,000-10,000 calories per day.
(Please Note: McDonalds placed Larry Bird in this commercial so that the commercial wasn't 'too black', and didn't only appeal to new, young NBA fans.)
Another former African American basketball player, Charles Barkley starred in a Taco Bell commercial. He is known for being an 'outspoken black talking head who we have all learned to love.' Despite a gambling addiction and drunken sexual indiscretions, Taco Bell thought his silly brand would help them sell Taco Combo meals, served in a branded box.
Do u want to buy a taco box from a 400 lb rhyming man in a huge suit?
Do u 'forgive him' for past alleged 'criminal' activities?
He seems to have evolved into a jolly, fat, radically opinionated man, as opposed to an 'angry black man.'
Also saw that Bud Light attempted to 'tap into' the mainstream infatuation with the autotune phenomenon from 2k9.
Yall, today is the Super Bowl. Not sure how I should feel about it. Sports are kinda mainstream, especially the NFL. I don't know if I am supposed to be into sports to 'identify with people' and 'carry on conversations with the mainstreamers in my life', or if I should Rage Against The Society's Norms. Kinda confused--I want 2 fit in, but I don't want to be 'just another brick in the wall.' h8 how there's all these commercials that are trying to 'appeal 2 me' and 'make me laugh' and 'identify with the product/brand.' Kinda prefer to just read blog posts about 'the best Super Bowl commercials' the day after.
(Do people outside of the USA watch the Super Bowl to be 'alt'?)
I think the Super Bowl is kinda tyte because there's 'cultural' stuff that happens which pushes the limits of society's norms and federal standards of decency. I remember that time that Justin "Fuck Society" Timberlake and Janet "Sweet Tittie" Jackson had that lil "wardrobe malfunction." It was like the meme of the year that year because 'every1 saw it.'
I wonder what would be the ultimate 'think piece' during the Super Bowl. Wish there were more performances that 'pushed the limits of our society' instead of bringing out old rocknrollers to have a conservative + inspiring message. Wish there was more nudity at the Super Bowl, yall!
Should I accidentally get too 'beer drunk' with my bros during the Super Bowl and accidentally have my first bromosexual experience with them?
HIPSTER RUNOFF's SUPER BOWL PICK John Alt 45 - Pittsburgh Steelers 0
John Alt: Super Bowl MVP
Madonna BB! Oh no! Is that ur pussy lip that I see while ur doing an AMAZING flip? U DEFANATELY have been hitting the gym, going to ZUMBA classes, haven't u?
I LOVED ur Super Bowl performance except for when that BROWN LADY flipped me off for NO GOOD REASON. That always happens to me when I'm driving! I hate people with road rage! I honestly just wanted to eat my Frito Pie made with Doritos IN PEACE, but NOOO. That lady had to ruin it with her middle finger! UGH I'm tired of people treating me like garbage. First my BOSS now that RANDOM LADY!
OMG BB! u were AMAZING on the Stage! Ur the Queen of Pop 4evr! U were flipping around out there like an 8 year old gymnast! I miss being young and flexible, but now I am old and I can't even touch my toes any more :-(
Is that ur CHACHA, bb?! Oh no! I can see it all if I turn my head 2 the side and tilt my compy screen!
Honestly though, ur private area is BEAUTAFUL. If I ever wore a swimsuit any time soon, I would be all brown, dirty, and cottage cheesey. Not gonna lie, it's emberassing down there. i might need to go and get cosmetically bleached if I ever want to be with a man again. #intimacy_issues
Madonna bb! I live 4 u! U WERE the Super Bowl, except for the hottie hunks!
Vampire Weekend has had their songs in commercials before, but now it seems like their hit song "Campus" was used to serve as 'exciting background music' for the trailer to The Lorax, which I believe is one of those Dr. Seuss books that is about kids doing drugs or having sex, or something. I'm pretty sure every 'classic children's book' was actually sorta dark and/or written by a Penn-State-wave bro who hated the world, but loved young children.
Anyways, it is great to hear the riffs of a song abt Ivy League romance in a children's movie trailer. Sometimes I wish I went to a top tier school and got 2 'check out hot pussie' across campus, but then I'd just go eat in the 'poor ppl' cafeteria bc it is all that my financial aid gave me and I wouldn't get the chance to date one of the premium off-campus hotties who only showed up to school 2 days a week (evenings).
Are yall on #TeamContra or #TeamSelfTitledDebutAlbum? [via the Vampy Weeks]
Speaking of SUPER BOWL commercials enabling the oversharing of wannabe viral videos that no1 really cares abt that inspire critical analysis abt art+commerce+authenticity, I will never get tired of 'ripping' on that band OK Go. They first went 'viral' with a decent-idea of a viral video before 'viral videos' even existed because their video was one of the first 'widely shared Youtube vids ever.' Then, they stopped making money because no one even bought their albums cuz their music doesn't even make sense. Now that have become the 'viral video band,' and all of their videos are 'trying desperately to 'go viral.' Since no1 likes/listens to their music, the only thing that they can sell is sponsorship in one of their videos. Don't they look kewl in this tiny lil Chevrolet?
U gotta feel bad for OK GO. they are stuck making viral videos forever, and no one will ever go see them play live, because fans will be like 'this doesn't feel viral enough!' It's just funny how their first viral video as 'progressive', but now they are trapped 'playing the same game' that every1 else does. I'm not even sure if that 'commercial' had a real song.
What was ur fave Super Bowl indie commercial?
Did Chevrolet 'eff up' by using a band that no1 cares abt?
SHould indie bands abstain from participating in the Super Bowl until they are offered a headlining spot?
Will M.I.A.'s antics get indie artists banned forever?
Are commercials 4 lamestreamers?
Does n e 1 even care abt The Darkness?
It was widely predicted by Carles of HIPSTER RUNOFF that M.I.A. would do anything to ruin the Super Bowl. Although Madonna's performance was 'effing terrible', choreographed, costume-designed, and lipsynched, M.I.A. did what she could to RUIN the moment on the world's biggest stage just so that she could be talked about.
She 'gave America the middle finger.' Flipped the Bird. Put one in the stink, and none in the pink. As if the performance couldn't get worse, M.I.A. had to harsh the vibes, just to 'get attention.' I'm not sure if any one really noticed, though.
Shame on you, M.I.A.
The performance was easily the worst moment of M.I.A.'s career, showcasing her desperate attempt for mainstream appeal, even if it meant 'dressing up like an idiot' and lipsynching. She will widely be regarded as a 'hack'/wanna-be-shock-artist who no1 even likes any more.
Shame on M.I.A. for ruining this great American moment.
Is she a 'terrorist', an opponent of censorship, or just some1 who is obsessed with fame + headline buzz?
Was M.I.A. 'trying too hard'?
Did any1 even care/notice?
Was it 'too predictable that M.I.A. would try to ruin the Super Bowl?
Is M.I.A. a 'complete a-hole'?
Is 'flipping off' the camera what a 13 year old boy would do?
Girl Talk recently attended the Super Bowl in Dallas between his hometown Pittsburgh Steelers against the Green Bay Packers. Unfortunately, the Packers defeated the Steelers, and Gregg Gillis was all sad. It feels like he went there 4 nothing, just to experience pain + disappointment.
In this EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW, Gregg is interviewed by HRO blogger Carles, and reacts 2 the loss.
Hey Gregg, did u have fun at the Super Bowl?
Cmon. You just had to be happy to attend such a huge event.
At least the guys played well, executed, held on to the ball.
Aaron Rodgers was the clear MVP of the game, right?
Do u think the Packers will 'repeat'?
Is Ben Roethlisburger a bad dude? U think he 'lost his swagger' this year because every1 was on his ass?
Why r u being such a sore loser, bro?
Are you a DJ?
R u happie?
Black Eyed Peas at least put on a sweet show, right?
Cmon dude. Ur a mainstream bro. Just admit u liked it.
Will the Super Bowl appearance revive the Pittsburgh economy?
Will you make people pay 4 ur next album?
No.
R u worried abt Girl Talk's dramatic response 2 the loss?
Did Girl Talk 'jinx' Pittsburgh?
Does he need 2 stop being such a bro and start shooting for a 10.0?
Did yall rave at halftime with the Black Eyed Peas?
Whaddup bitches & bros! It's your #1 Bro Gregg Gillis aka DJ Girl Talk. Yeah, u see me gettin my swaaaag on in my Steelers jacket. Hell yeah. I just paid $4k for a ticket to hit up the Super Bowl in Dallas, and you better effing believe I will be twitpic-ing the shit out of my experience. Super Bowl is gonna crush it. Shit means so much to the city of Pittsburgh. Me + Big Ben Roethlisberger are basically the most famous Pittsburghians, so we have a special connection. Gonna be rooting my boi on.
You want an effing prediction? I can guarantee you that the Steelers are going to win this shit, and they will COVER the spread by 10-20 points. Shit is gonna be no contest. I've played gigs in Wisconsin, and trust me, those dudes don't know how to bring it. GO STEEL!
As you know, I am an athlete. I wear basketball shoes, and I claim that my feet bleed at the end of shows because I dance so hard. I know what it takes to be a champion, since many call me the #1 DJ in the world right now. I can tell you that I have watched the playoffs this year, and we look GOOD. Dudes are so fast and strong. Yeah. Dudes are gonna tackle the other quarterback and score SICK touchdowns. Needless to say, the Steelers are peaking at the right time.
FUCK YEAH STEELERS!
Anyways, I'm just saying... Do not bet against Big Ben. Dude knows how to bring it, both on and off the field. I know he got in trouble for partying 2 hard, but at the end of the day, say what you will about Big Ben on the field, but Ben is a true bro, and you can't stop the bro. Check him out crushing it
I took this pic. Me and Ben were so smashed then we spit roasted an entry level Pittsburgh fan who thinks we are 'Gods'.
Go Steelers. Dude can escape any rush. Look for him to create mad plays out of the pocket, just like he's playing Madden or some shit.
Here's a picture of Ben at one of my recent concerts. I grabbed the mic and yelled "GOOOO STEEEEEELERS. BIG BENNN IN THE HOUSE" and the crowd LOST THEIR SHIT (even though it was on a college campus somewhere in Ohio).
If the Pack really wanted to win, they never should have traded Brett Favre. Dude knows how to party almost as hard as Ben. Dude runs mad game, sends out sick cock pix.
Listen, I know I am biased. I am from Pittsburgh, AND I party hard with my bro Ben Goeslingburgers, but at the end of the day, the Steelers have the heart and the power of the bro to win.
Make us proud, Steelers.
I gotta go play a frat party now, but luckily they have a SICK bro setup and a ROWDY ass 150 inch HD tv and I'm gonna vibe out and watch some ESPN. I'll see you at the bowl. Gonna get blazed and watch the big screen.
******
Who is gonna win the Super Bowl?
Does Gregg need to chill out on being such a bro?
Do the Steelers have the offensive line 2 stop the Packers defense?
Are Tom Brady and Peyton Manning overrated?
Is Ben Roethlisburger a 'terrible human being'?
Who will burn in hell 4evr: Michael Vick or Ben Goeslingburger?
Is Gregg Gillis 'a total mainstreamer' or a 'bro-streamer'?
