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Swag Bros

Should Men Wear Polka dots? [The Death of Stripes and Solids]

I come from a simple time.
A time where there were only stripes, and solids
There was plaid, which was sorta a mixed vibe of stripes and solids
But these days, 'polka dots' seem 2 be everywhere.

Polka dots seem to have 'swag'
But at the same time
Polka dots also seem to have 'class'
[via menswear bros who wear bowties and sweater vests like they are fucking male models]

Oh shit
U got the new limited edition
polkadot five panel?

How r ur polka dots aligned?

Ur dots seem chill

Bitches been wearing polka dots since 4evr
Don't give a shit when a woman wears polka dots
since everything that a girl does
is automatically 'trying too hard'

I could literally not give less of a shit
about bitches in polka dots

But the swag bro
and menswear bros
are incorporating
the polka dot

If ur not in polka dots, ur not 'on trend'
Sell ur solids, stripes and plaids to Buffalo Exchange / ur local thrift store
before the bubble officially bursts

The polka dot offers a whimsical element
of a rigid #menswear look

So playful! Yet still so classy!

U look so rich! U've tricked me with ur clothes!

But is there a point
where ur 'too old' to be wearing polka dots
or is it a 'playful element'
that lets bitches know
ur a 'fun lovin guy who likes to have fun with the way he dresses'

I mean, let's face it
Ur not a bro wearing an Affliction/TapOut shirt

But if you wear 'boring ol stripes and solids'
that have now become excessively ubiquitous
Can u really signal 2 a potential mate
'I want the clothes I wear to make me seem interesting, 'on trend', and attempting to get ur pussy wet.'

But at the same time
What if a girl is like
'Polka dots. Get the fuck outta here with that trend
another niggaw hoppin on a trend like it's goin outta style'

Damn son
U didn't get the memo
Stripes are fuckin 'out' bro
Break free from parallel lines

Create a new grid
[via structured dots]

U spaced out those polka dots, nigga
U look fuckin 'on trend'

Ur on that mid century mod swag
Roger Sterling's accent wall


QUESTION: What did the On-Trend-Polka-dot-wearing-Bro say to the polkadot during hide and seek?


Do u <3 or h8 'polka dots'?
Are polka dots 'trying 2 hard'?
Will stripes 'always win'?
Will 'solids' become obsolete?
Will polkadots have staying power?
Or will they be a 'failed trend' that becomes an ironic memory of the times?
Should bros 'settle' for stripes and solids, or are they allowed to 'polka dot'?
If U R A GIRL, please let bros know whether or not you would fuck a bro if he was wearing polkadots, or if polka dots are 'trying too hard'.

Should I button the top button of my collared shirt?

Where have all the AltBros gone? [Rise of the SWAG BROS and MENSWEAR POST-BROS]

Where have all the AltBros gone? [Rise of the SWAG BROS and MENSWEAR POST-BROS]

Photo by WeirdMagic.biz

Where have all the altbros gone?
Searching 4 u
in a new sea of swag bros

Altbros used to be every where.
Alternative bros
Maybe they've grown into alternative men
Maybe younger, swagger generations have eliminated the altbro.

Go to the mall and purchase ur #SWAG, son.

There's one thing you'll never be able 2 buy:
Authentic Alt
Bros will evolve
but alt will nvr die

Last AltBro standing

Altbros, Altbros, Altbros
I miss them
Remember when they used to put on Am Appy and dance 2 bloghouse?

This bro is not swag at all
He is just trying to be alt [circa 2k8]

Time flies...
Altbros grew into men
wearing men's wear
Trying to look all 'rich'/well-dressed/'modern'

#MensWear Post-Bros
Shopping at effing J. Crew
Thinking they are all ABOVE Am Appy

Dressing like they are in a period piece set in the present
Presented commercial free by Old Spice

U used to be a bro
Don't try to hide it with #menswear
Showing off yr entry-level paycheck's extra income
When u should be saving it 2 buy real estate
instead of caring what ppl think abt u based on how u look still
U'll never grow up even though u 'dress like a grownup'
and hang out at craft breweries

I miss the purity of the altbro.
So young, so naive

Maybe all we'll ever be is contemporary.
But for one last moment, I found the Waldo of AltBros
a metaphorical symbol
sorta like when the Injuns and the honkies accidentally killed all the buffalo

Friggin swag bros
Wearing ur goddamn tanktops

Swagbros just ruining everything
trying to make it look like big thangs are effin popping

Altbros used to wear hoodies that didn't have any swag
just early model Am Appy shit
Fuckin Swag ruined everything

Now all these tweens are dressing all swag like they 'get' culture
Teen Mom ass bullshit

Altbros used to be this weird offshoot of post-emo bros and post-post-hardcore bros
who were searching for an indie sensibiltie
but also wanted to D.A.N.C.E. if the vibes were relevant enough

Maybe the altbros have 'lost their edge'
to the swag post-tween bros
and the post-altbro #menswear post-bros who shop at JCrew
and buy expensive shoes
and look in the mirror and are all like 'I look s0 Mad Men right now'

In this photograph, I see altbros. There is no swag, there are no men.
While the alt might be hella failed, at least they are trying
trying 2 be altbros

[via 'remember hipster scarves?']

I miss the AltBros.
Where have all the altbros gone?

I will find u again, Where's W_AltBro

I will find myself again.

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