HIPSTER RUNOFF

I have heard rumblings that there is a MASSIVE LAW that is being talked about in some sort of branch of the government that is trying to make websites and blogs and the majority of the content on the internet COMPLETELY ILLEGAL. I was reading up about SOPA, trying to exactly who it would impact. Here are the hard facts on SOPA, how it works, and how your life will be forever changed in the SOPA world.

ALL MUSIC BLOGS WOULD BE BREAKING THE LAW
Did u know that 100% of music blogs are 'hella illegal'? They are just as illegal as they were when they were 'innovative', but now every1 just got used to it. This would mean the bloggers behind your favorite blogs would go to jail. Many would be placed in isolation chambers, and they would not have internet access. This means Pitchfork writers, ad salesmen, dudes who start Tumblrs, and any one who has ever downloaded an illegal leak. Some critics say that this would actually be a good thing for the blog-centric indie world because it would force the creation of music in 'real scenes' instead of losers on the internet getting famous then tanking when they perform live.

ALL INDIE BUZZBANDS WOULD BE BREAKING THE LAW
Believe it or not, any band trying to get buzz could be sentenced to at least 3 months in prison. Any band planning on releasing an album in 2k12 better 're-think' their strategies. It seems like we will move back to a taped-bootlegging era. Instead of doing a formal release that is uploaded to the internet to be sold, bands will have to sell CDs and minidiscs at live shows. Any band caught releasing an MP3 file, or if their fans make MP3s, the entire band will be executed live on FOX TV. The first round of executions will debut after the Super Bowl.

YOU WILL LOSE YOUR PERSONAL EMAIL ACCOUNT AND YOUR TWITTER AND FACEBOOK WILL BE SEIZED BY THE GOVERNMENT
Remember the days when u could fire off an email? Over. Thanks a lot, SOPA. There will be no way to connect with other people on the internet. Classmates.com has a few lobbyists making HUGE moves in Wershington, and they might be the last social network standing when it's all said and done.

YOU WOULD BE BREAKING THE LAW BY READING 'COMMIE GARBAGE' ON THE INTERNET AND SHARING IT TO A SOCIAL NETWORK
Let's face it, the majority of internet content is all 'communist garbage', written by, consumed by, and shared by a Network of Reds. In order to get America back to on track, riding capitalistic vibes, eliminating Commie propaganda is 100% necessary to the old white-hairs in the House of Congressentatives. No longer will u be allowed to read words on the internet unless they are approved by the government. It will be a lot like a parental control filter. There will be no more Browsers, everything will look like America Online 3.0.

ANY1 WHO DOES ONLINE SHOPPING WOULD BE BREAKING THE LAW
Sites like Groupon, Amazon Gold Box, and SexSlaveCoupon.biz will be illegal, because the government finally realizes that 'online deals' have hurt the economie. Instead of allowing retailers to charge markups, so many outlets have driven prices down, hurting our economy because u can't waste money, and businesses can't make money. Events like Black Friday will be outlawed, and if you buy stereo speakers from some dude driving around a parking lot, you will have your hand chopped off. Stores like iTunes will be illegal, and it will be illegal to download MP3s AND buy MP3s.

ANY1 WHO BEATS OFF 2 PORN ON THE INTERNET WILL AUTOMATICALLY GO 2 CYBERJAIL
Some say that pornography takes up over 95% of all internet bandwidth. In order to decrease the bandwidth shortage of 2k12, providers want ppl to 'beat off' less. Instead, dating sites and 'fuck meetups' like Grindr will be given government grants & subsidies in order to allow members to join free, encouraging them to not beat off in privacy, but to go out into the world and find some1 to procreate with.

ANY1 WHO USES WIKIPEDIA WILL GET THE ELECTRIC CHAIR
One of the main reasons SOPA exists is to finally 'delete' the terrible website known as Wikipedia.org. It is a little known fact that lobbyists for CD-based Encyclopedias such as Encarta and World Book are throwing HUGE bribes at congressmen to revive their business. Let's be honest, every one knows that Wikipedia is filled with lies based on internet lies. In order to prevent kids from using Wikipedia for term papers, the Electric Chair will be brought back 2 really scare the kids.

ANY ARTIST WHO TANKS ON SNL WILL BE GIVEN THE DEATH PENALTY
Apparently, after the Lana Del Rey tank job on SNL, congressmen, senators, and even Barrack 'Ole Blue Eyes' Obama decided to write this into #SOPA. They just want to protect us from another buzz market collapse like last week, when the Buzz Jones Industrial and BUZDAQ both PLUMMETED. Right now, we're dealing with a record high un-buzzployment rate, and seeing buzz rates fall across the board. Right now, natural resources and precious metals are the only thing with value. Insiders say that SOPA will pass because lawmakers want to protect us on this issue. Thanks a lot, LDR!

INTERNET MEME HUMOR WILL BE ENSLAVED
I'm not sure how they are planning to do this, but there is talk that some of the most classic viral memes on the internet will be enslaved in order to 'make examples' out of them. Studies have shown that American tweens are more interested in generating viral content than they are in math and science studies. The fear of eternal enslavement is the only way to 'get their asses in line'.

R u scared of SOPA?
Will it change the internet forever?
Should the internet be regulated?
Will mp3s still be legal?
Will SOPA ruin the internet?
Is the internet 'over'?
Does n e 1 know how SOPA works?
Will my blog be shut down bc of SOPA?
What happens when SOPA is legalized?
Is SOPA losing support?
Will SOPA ruin or save indie?
What does SOPA stand 4?

Video: Herds of Tweens stampede into Urby Outty 2 buy kewl looking alt clothes.

I hate 'deals.'

Nothing makes me feel more 'trapped in society' than turning my life into a process of bargain hunting. Cutting coupons. Buying Groupons. Attending consumer-based holidays that imply that you are getting a 'sweet ass deal' like Black Friday. Will we ever escape from the Sprawl? Will we ever free ourselves from our deal-hunting 'instincts'? Maybe searching for 'deals' is an innate trait... Maybe cavemen bros searched for chill deals on cave drawing materials so that they could vibe out without feeling like they wasted caveman currency on overpriced materials.

Show me a man who is proud of the 'bargain'/'deal' he just purchased, and I see a man who has given up on life.

It makes me sad. Like an old woman searching in her purse for a coupon that will get her 50 cents off a Rice Krispie Treat. Why can't a Rice Krispie Treat just be worth a Rice Krispie Treat? How much does n e thing cost n e ways? Why do we even want Rice Krispie Treats? Is it because they are sweet? If we eat 2 many, will we get diabetes? Why is there a deal on them? Are they cheap 2 make? Should I just make my own? Does 'using a coupon' 'make me an informed, empowered consumer'?

I don't trust deals. I am not winning. We r all losing. Losing time. Losing $$$. Losing value. Losing life. Losing gift cards.

Sometimes I feel able to pride myself on 'being cultured', 'being educated', 'being globally-aware', but more importantly 'self-aware'. Why is it so easy for a 'deal' to turn some one into 'a savage', 'an animal', or in some cases, 'a poor'? Maybe we're afraid of wasting what we earned. We don't want to get effed over. Deals make us feel like we are 'beating' retailers and manufacturers, or at least getting close to 'breaking even' with their marked up prices.

'Deals' seem to make some1 feel 'smart', like they are 'beating the system', or something. They are showing 'dedication' to the pursuit of perfect consumerism. Maybe they just have a lot of anxiety about making 'overpriced' purchases, so a day like Black Friday is important to their self-concept.

Wife: Honey, we really need a new TV.
Husband: Babe. Let's wait til Black Friday so we can get a really big one 4 a really cheap price.
Wife: That sounds very prudent.
Husband: There is also something called Cyber Monday. We can order it from the internet.
Wife: I dunno... I like 2 see things b4 I buy them.
Husband: Let's go to Best Buy at 11 pm on Thursday evening so we can be one of the first 100 ppl in line.
Wife: That sounds like a mad house.
Husband: But don't u want a deal, babe?
Wife: Will our lives' be in danger?
Husband: If enough poors or gangbangers-turned-eBay-biz-owners show up, we could be in trouble.
Wife: Should I bring pepper spray?
Husband: I think that will help us.
Wife: Maybe we should just do the Cyber Monday thingie... I <3 online shopping!
Husband: We need a bigger screen.
Wife: I want gadgets that make my life better 4 a low price.
Husband: I want gadgets that are tiny with big screens that will improve my life.
Wife: Should we skip Thanksgiving, get in line at Best Buy and eat CLIF Bars 2 fuel us for our hunt for the best deal on a big ass flat screen TV?
Husband: Yes.
Wife: But if we get the same TV that every one else is getting, does that make us a poor?
Husband: I don't want to be a poor. Should we get a TV that is a bit pricier?
Wife: But we need a great deal.
Husband: Great deals come with great consequences.
Wife: I don't want to die.
Husband: We need a bigger screen.
Wife: Should we buy an extra Windows laptop too because it is cheap?
Husband: I think so.
Wife: Let's drive 1000 miles to a rural Best Buy so that there is less competition.
Husband: That is a good idea. I will hook up the airstreamer to the truck so that we have a place to camp out in style.

Why r we alive?
Do deals make u feel alive?
When u discover a deal, does it make u feel 'special', 'relieved', or 'trapped'?
Should we just #OccupyWalMart?

Whenever some1 talks about a 'sweet deal', I feel like they are anxious and insecure abt their income stream. A wise man potentially said 'every penny counts', but if u spend ur entire life counting pennies, then u potentially wasted ur entire life.

It all seems so empty. :-(

Do we rlly care abt what we earn? What are we 'saving'? Should I just take out a college loan and use it on 'deals'?

Should we just build a 'shanty town' outside of Best Buy, waiting for deals, hoarding the best of them, reselling them 4 profit, except we also offer deals on the deals that we just purchased? I feel stressed out thinking abt that business model. Is everything a deal or is nothing a deal?

If I bought a Groupon every day, would it make me 'hella rich'?

I h8 deals.
I h8 bargains.
I h8 coupons.
I h8 buying-1-and-getting-1-free.
I h8 __% off.
I h8 Black Friday.
I h8 Cyber Monday.

I am just part of a mob.
I am part of a volatile situation. I am part of a mob that requires 'crowd control', 'riot gear', 'pepper spray', 'loud noises', 'tear gas', and 'martial law.'

I just wanted a sweet deal, man. I read abt it in the paper. Why r u arresting me bc I found a deal? It's my life. It's my right 2 a deal. As an American, I am entitled to a bigger screen [via my TV] every ~2 years.

Should I buy a #DroidRazr and use it 2 'wipe my ass' with? [via 'There's an App 4 That']

Are 'sensational Black Friday incidents' just viral marketing ploys 2 increase demand 4 'electronic shit'?
Or are they just 'newsbits where anchors can shake their heads and t0tally fr0wn d0wn up0n 0ur c0n$umer $0ciety?'

Do I need a bigger screen?

Am I just a 'poor' with the self-concept of a middle-classer?
Does being part of the other 99% just mean that I have 2 stress abt how much things cost [via constraints]?
'Should we all just live off the land, man?' [via hippie garbage]
Why can't every day be Black Friday? I want 2 live in darkness.
Did Steve Jobs invent Black Friday 2 sell Apple products?
Do 'deals' and 'discounts' make u feel 'poor' and 'trapped'?
Do u <3 or h8 'deals'?

7:00 PM greetings yall! chillin at the Apple Store on Mars. Soo futuristic. Huge announcements coming today....

Photos by Engadget

7:01 PM The guy in front of me just sharted in his pants... ewwww...

7:03 PM Alright, Steve Jobs just came out. He looks super cute today <3 him.

7:04 PM SteveBro says 'huge announcements' coming up 2day... mad pumped... but worried I will have to replace all of my Apple products.

7:06 The guy from Coldplay just showed up. Every1 is pissed. Booed his ass off stage. Haha. See u in Hell Chris Marty.

7:08 Just watched Steve Jobs kick some1 out for using a Dell laptop. Gotta love him.

7:10 First big announcement--new iPod shuffles. They look sleek as hell. Gonna get me 1 of those. Has a new touch screen interface, camera, and wifi.

7:12 Apple announces old iPod shuffles will be sold in vending machines for 25 cents - $1. Many will be donated to Africa [via Product RED]

7:12:30 Feist does a 'flash mob' to try to get her old job back at the Toronto Apple Store

7:13 Steve Jobs announces that Apple built a 'facebook for music' where people can connect

7:15 Outlines 'what makes it unique' + seems 'destined for success'

7:16 Apple announces it will acquire winamp, the hypemachine, and last.fm, just 4 shits

7:19 Apple announces new HD TV monitor that comes bundled with Time Warner / Comcast cable

7:24 Says that every ABC and FOX series from 1999-2010 will come 'pre-loaded' on ur TV's hard drive

7:26 Announces that Apple will be purchasing youtube, netflix, flickr and many other social networks

7:27 Steve admits that he 'loves getting blazed' and utilizing Netflix 'watch instantly'

7:30 keeps utilizing annoying powerpoint effects, wasting every1's time. ppl keep groaning.

7:45 Bums every1 out, announces that the TVs will only last for 40 hours, then u have to buy a new 1

7:50 INTERMISSION
FREE SUNCHIPS
FREE BOLOGNA SANDWICHES
FREE APPLE SODA (private beta product) sample

7:55 Steve shows off his new tween GF on his iPhone.  Soo hot. loves it! Says he uses 'facetime' to make love 2 her on the reg.

Apple recently came out with a new iPhone that has a webcam / HD video camera on it, so u can vlog and video chat with other people instead of using the phone in a generic manner. The new ads 'highlighting' this feature seem like they are really trying to demonstrate how technology can enhance opportunities for authentic human connections. Sorta feel like they portrayed tons of mainstream, Middle American ideas of 'family', 'love', and 'relationships', trying to make the Apple brand 'essential' in Middle America.

Honestly feel kinda bummed because I thought I was progressive 4 using Apple products.
Guess now that there is an Apple Store at every suburban mall, I should stop kidding myself
Apples are for streamers
Dells are fore streamers
GPS devices are for suburban streamers
All technology has 'gone mainstream' [via relatively affordable price points/in-store credit opportunities]

Every1 loves 2 love technology
An opportunity to stay connected
Every new product--website, software, or hardware device
gives us an opportunity to take 'humanity' to the next level
Making us more relevant than any generation before us
the ability to do more great things

So pumped to use the lil camera on my iPhone 4
Gonna livevlog so hard
No longer waiting til I get home to upload my vlogs to my youtube/vimeo account
my tribe of followers are gonna be soo connected to my web brand

Gonna tell my boyfriend that he finally planted a load of semen in my vagina

Livevlogging via Apple will change everything
Feel like it will be just as fulfilling as hanging out with some1 in person
Won't even really have 2 leave the house
or buy a cell phone plan--probs just a data plan
with the skype/iChat app

Can't wait to break up with my GF using iPhone video chat technology
Or to tell her that she 'looks like shit' and needs to put on something
more flattering/forgiving for our date

Might also tell her that I have an STD
Or 'threaten 2 kill her' [via Mel Gibson / OJ Simpson]

I always feel creeped out
and uncomfortable when old people use technology

I feel like they deserve to live their lives' without it
New commercials make me kinda sad that we are forcing iProducts down their throats
because I don't really think I want to experience any of these lamestream events in my life
Don't wanna have a family
Don't wanna have a kid
Don't want to 'take care' of my parents after they get old
Gonna stick them in a homeless community without wifi, and limited TV access
Might just ship them 2 North Korea

But maybe when I am a dad,
I will buy my daughter a cell phone so that we don't fall out of touch
I can use technology to relate to her on her own level
send her positive texts
maybe even 'get hornie' and sext with her if my marriage falls apart and I become an alcoholic

She is soo spoiled
Paid for braces
Data plan
Private School
Horse Riding Lessons
and she can't even vlog with me?

'spoiled ass bitch' -Gen Y dad after raising a terrible kid

Even if I'm in the military
and my wife gives birth
U can jam an iPhone up her pussy
and 'live vlog' that shit
Kinda sad I won't be able to start off being a 'deadbeat dad' on the right foot.

Even if u can't 'talk' on ur phone, u can utilize sign language
to vlog hard

I miss the days when Apple would just put a cutesy indie song in their commercials
harvesting buzzbands to the mainstream
like the Feists
or other 'shitty alt rock songs'
like that one by the band JET

I remember when I was the only alt in my elementary / middle school / high school / college dorm to have a Mac
Before it was even 'maltstream trendy'
Really just fit in with my lifestyle
Not even trying '2 be kewl'

But now every1 has an apple product
iPhones
iPods
iShuffles
iMacs
iPads
iTweens

So many opportunities
to help Middle Americans and mainstreamers
utilize technology in tacky ways
How much is 2 much?

I remember when technology used to just be for people who lived in relevant cities
but I guess suburban families are kinda rich
and have tons of money 2 blow
at Apple Store outlets

How do u feel about Apple's new Middle American brand?
Is Apple 'swirling down the shitter' or are they like a buzzband that is morphing into U2?
Are Apple's products 'perfect' or is AT&T 'fucking bullshit'?
Should I start using Android for pure Google integration?
Do u h8 living in the vlog era?
What meaningful moments of ur life do you think you will livevlog with your friends and families?
Do these commercials make u want to throw up?
Do u wish you could be a semi-professional actor who got the chance to star as a 'generic American' in an iPhone commercial?
Are humans 'too connected' via technology?

Photo by the cobrasnake

I remember u, CD Binder bro
You used to be hella useful, back when I was overloaded with CDs
disc, jewel case, album insert
needed a system to help me get organized
to keep me from scratching my massive CD collection

We had a lot of good memories.
I remember the first time I organized you
I got rid of my jewel cases
and just kept the album booklet and the CD inside of you
Really trusted u with that shit

Eventually I transported you into my car (a 1992 toyota Camry)
and u gave me access to a rich library of relevant CDs

for a while I had a CD visor
but that really didn't meet my needs
since I had such a massive music collection

CD visor was 'functional' for my on-the-go playlist style listening
but it didn't give my CDs the protection I needed
Didn't allow me to have access to all 100-5000 CDs in my collection

When I moved CD Binder bro into my car
I took him everywhere
We drove to high school together every morning
Took him on a road trip to visit colleges
Sometimes I would even loan him out to my best bros
(h8ed when they stole CDs from me)

CD binder was around, back when 'the album' meant something to me
better than an iTunes playlist because I had an emotional and financial connection with each album
at least until I started burning tons of albums
after buying a 100 pack of blank CD-Rs

Eventually you became irrelevant, CD binder bro
MP3s replaced the CD
and we no longer a sweet organizational tool
in the form of a binder / trapper keeper
because the CDs couldn't be sorted by artist name, song name, album name
genre, rating, play count or other meta data

So weird to realize that music is just 'information'
being transported
and it is better to just send it thru fiber wires/3g networks
as opposed to storing the data on a disc
and packaging it

I really miss u CD binder
U were the chillest of bros
A useful product
and maybe I took u for granted
thought u would last forever

You were always way more chill than the CD tower
The CD tower was utilized by 'show offs'
people who wanted to show off how many CDs they owned
getting dusty in their living rooms

Eventually, the CD tower became the ultimate symbol of waste
huge stack of CDs 'showing off' the hundreds of dollars u wasted on CDs
from bands that were just 'one hit wonders'
or crappy bands like Limp Bizkit / Korn / Matchbox 20 etc
a shrine to your old personal brands
that people could make fun of u for
and all u could say was 'yea, i used to think that band was okay a long time ago'

They say the only thing worse than a CD tower
is a DVD tower
no matter how many 'special editions' u have
u might never be a special edition of a human

The CD Binder is a private, intimate experience
flipping thru pages
U were the original 'cover flow' [the popular feature showcased by Apple products which allows u to skim album art]

I loved the feeling of flipping a page against my fingers
the smell of plastic
every color of the rainbow
a tactile experience that can never be replicated by cover flow

Really miss CD binder bro
might start buying CDs again just to 'get retro'
and reconnect with the CD Binder
(but I already invested a lot of money in a record player + vinyl collection)

I don't want a 'little bitch' CD binder
holding 10-20 CDs
re-gifted to you because the mini CD binder became a product
that it was easy to 'slap your logo on'

I want a huge CD binder
A portable filing cabinet of my life
because music is my life
CDs used to be my life
Before I got into vinyl/mp3s

Miss u CD binder bro
so many people talk about technology and the digital revolution
but we don't take the time to think of auxiliary products
Failing to ask important questions like
"What will happen to all of the iPod docks in the world when iPods are irrelevant?"
"What will happen to memes when the internet dies?"

Maybe I like buzz mp3s
and I am genuinely thankful for the ease at which I can find and steal new music
and listen to my iPod every day
jam out hard to my iPhones
docking my shit into 'alarm clock speakers'

But I miss the simple days
I miss the wasteful CD buying experience
dealing with amassing several hundred jewel cases
scratching and misplacing CDs
and finding innovative ways to tkae CDs out of their original packaging
and sort them in a way that fit in with my lifestyle

Sometimes I feel like life is sorta like flipping thru the pages of your CD binder
trying to find the right album to put on at the right time

Maybe you never were bros with a CD binder
but trust me...
He was one helluva bro
and I would be the person I am today without him.

miss u

Photo by Yvan Rodic

Today I had to access some data on the go, so I took out my Macbook and searched for a wireless internet connection on the stoop of a local apartment complex. People walked by me and stared, as if I was some sort of 'lower class' individual. Eventually, I connected to a network called 'linksys' but I felt less connected 2 the modern world than ever.

Feeling like a 'little bitch' now that iPads exist. It's like the Macbook is no longer the status symbol of a 'relevant young person.' Laptops feel really antiquated now, like I am some sort of grandpa accessing a 100 year old version of the internet.

The glow of my laptop monitor seems dimmer than ever, now that iPads exist, lighting the way into the technological future.

iPads are ruining my life, making me feel less relevant.

Even my cat, doesn't want to play with me any more since he went to the Apple Store and tested out an iPad. He says it is more fun 2 play with the iPad games / apps than it is to play with 'boring ass non-intuitive cat toys.'

Feel like Steve Jobs ruined my life. I convinced my parents to get me a Macbook so I could write a hit chillwave EP, photoshop the album cover, and video chat with my friends from all around the world. But now I am stuck with a useless piece of technology. Maybe standard computers are just 'too powerful for me.' Feel wasteful, like I am wasting resources that could be used to find a cure for cancer.

R u ashamed of your laptop?
Is the Macbook now as 'uncool' as a Dell Desktop?
Is the iPad the perfect computer?
Is taking out your laptop in public sort of the same as lugging your desktop around in a huge duffel bag and setting it up in a coffee shop?
Is lugging around a desktop now more alt/authentic/retro than having a Macbook?
Now that the iPad is the 'most functional on-the-go computer of all time', will computers start to get bulkier for the sake of creating a new aesthetic?
Do u feel ashamed of ur Macbook?
Is the iPad the crowning achievement of modern society, sort of like 'our version of the wheel'?
Should I buy an iPad even though I live in a rural part of America that doesn't have a 3G wireless network?

I recently read a news story about how Lil Wayne launched a new blog from jail. It seems like he is trying to utilize a blog to keep his brand alive. He is also selling t-shirts that say 'Free Weezy.' Instead of letting people think he is a 'criminal' who is 'getting his ass pounded' behind bars, he wants people to know he is having a 'deep, reflective experience.'

Love. Live. Life. Proceed. Progress. That’s who I am and who I’ll always be. You see, we’re all living on borrowed time, so I’m not worried about this situation. Life happens quick. The more time you spend contemplating what you should have done…you lose valuable time planning what you can and will do. Trying to tear down the past prohibits you from building up your future. So for my time here, my physical will be confined to the yard. My love and my spirit, however, know no boundaries.

I have always been afraid 2 go 2 jail because I thought it was a place where you don't have any rights, you eat dog food slop, and you get 'raped in the ass' until you murder some1 to prove that ur 'a prison baller.' It seems like a scary place (based on the movies I have seen about prison). I wouldn't have the same freedoms I have in normal society if I lived in a prison. There would be no HD TV, no personal space, no macbooks, no memes, no youtube videos, no retail shopping opportunities, no high quality fast food, and tons of minorities/uneducated ppl who don't care how 'alt' u r.

Wonder how Lil Wayne is blogging. Is there some sort of computer lab where all of the prisoners can go to watch pornography, update their twitters, change their myspace layouts, pay their cable bill, and email with their family?

If they do have a computer lab, I hope they have really shitty computers that have a bunch of spyware slowing them down.

Wonder if he has his own room with a Macbook computer. He can chill in bed while he blogs, then other prisoners might shank him in the middle of the night 2 try to steal his Macbook

It seems unfair that Lil Wayne gets to blog from jail. I feel like he did something that was harmful to society, so he should be banned from having internet privileges. Wonder if all prisoners get the same treatment he gets. I imagine him sitting in a room watching MTV / ESPN, eating pringles, doing drugs, and just living life in some sweet room.

Does n e 1 know if racism in jail exists? [via American History X]

Maybe he joined a sweet Mexican prison gang

If I lived in the same prison as Lil Wayne, I would probably try to bro down hard with him, then expect a job from him when we get out of jail.

It seems 'bad for America' that we can glorify this bro who is 'behind bars.' H8 how rappers think that they get more 'cred' if they go to jail, because they have more content to rap about. Always need to prove that they 'aren't scared' and that they have 'overcome difficult circumstances' to evolve into a human who rhymes about 'having sex with tons of girls with big asses.' Feel like maybe Obama should pass a law that rappers have to retire when they go to jail in order to keep them from setting a bad example for white American kids.

Sorta wish OJ Simpson had a blog. Feel like people want to hear what that bro is up 2.

Wonder if Lil Wayne will end up 'preferring life on the inside', then when he is about to be released, he will perform a crime to stay behind bars instead of having to deal with the outside world.

Should I send him a care package? Might send him a knife baked into a batch of herbal brownies.

Is Lil Wayne able to get the drugs he needs behind bars?
Should blogging be allowed behind bars?
Should Lil Wayne get the death penalty?
Should prisoners only be allowed to read 5th grade reading level books?
Is life in prison like the Shawshank Redemption? American History X? The Green Mile?

Is Lil Wayne a 'prison wife' [via sodomy]?
R u scared to go to jail, or does it seem like a chill place where you can have a cute lil blog / tumblr?
Has n e 1 ever been to jail/prison? Feel free 2 share ur experiences and levels of internet privileges in the comments.

Went 2 buy an iPad at my local Apple Store. At first I thought 'that is stupid, I already have an iPhone and a Macbook Pro', but then I realized I could be part of something special if I purchased an iPad.

Waited in line over night. Had 2 make sure I got 1. Brought my Macbook so I could watch youtube videos all nite. really bonded with these techbros, like I finally met people who lived in the same world that I live in.

Apple Store employees were super helpful. Kinda were 'ass holes' since Apple products are so intuitive + easy to use, so they were kinda condescending when I asked how stuff worked.

There was so much buzz in the store.

So easy, even a granny can use it. 'There's an app 4 menopause.'

So easy, even a tween can use it.

Wish I could go back in time and be the 'ass hole kid' who tried to tell my teacher that using an iPad was better than using a piece of paper. Then I would distract every1 since I would watch youtube videos all day, and my iPad would be banned from the class room.

(feel sad that schools are telling kids they can't use laptops + computers in class any more)

Such a long line. Glad I waited overnight. I even brought my son, and he rode his tricycle into the store.

Apple Store employees are the best. They don't just 'know' the product--they truly love it. (A lot of people work there since they can't get jobs with their worthless degrees, and their parents think it is a real job, not just the same as 'working retail.')

Feel relieved that I went to a real Apple Store to really experience the excitement of the iPad launch, instead of going to the Apple station in a Best Buy. Those 'ass hole Geek Squadders' don't know shit about how to preserve the Apple brand. They don't know how 2 make me feel special about what I am buying.

Me feeling special. Miss the days when my white wayfarers matched my white iBook.

Driving home in my BMW, browsing the internet, checking iPad friendly websites

I know u think this picture makes it seem like I have too many Apple products because I only browse the internet, but u don't understand how these integrate into my on-the-go lifestyle. We live in a world where we must stay connected.

Wonder if it is still alt / functional to have a Macbook Air. Wonder the iPad makes it 'the most irrelevant Apple Laptop in the history of Steve Jobs.'

This bro is me. This bro with an iPad.

One day, I will show my kids my wedding photos. I will show them my college + high school graduation photos. I will show them photos on the day that they shot out of their mother's womb. I will show them photographs of the first day I got my Apple products--the day the iPad came out of the womb of a factory in an AZN country.

Is the iPad the second coming of God / Jesus Christ?
Are iPads for ass holes?
Are iPads 'a huge ripoff'?
If u were stuck on a desert island, would u rather have a Macbook Pro, an iPhone, or an iPad?
Should I put my Macbook Air on eBay?
Are Apple Store employees 'ass holes', 'helpful' or 'self-righteous, disgruntled liberal arts grads'?
If u work at an Apple Store, r u an important part of society, or are they the modern Best Buy / Circuit City employee?
Will the iPad change ur life?
will the iPad save humanity by helping us 2 connect?
Has Apple 'jumped the shark' or have they made a beautiful product?
Do u wish u had an iPad when u were a tween?

Photos via: waywardlife

Several years ago at SXSW, the popular internet service twitter 'went viral.' Since then, SXSW has been branded as a conference that will create 'the next big thing' in all aspects of consumer / internet / cultural life.  This year at SXSW, the popular trend that emerged was 'texting while walking.'

Many text-and-walk purists claim that this posture / position has been around since cell phone texting and/or walking were invented. The text-and-walk academic community claim that most urban cities feature a population familiar with texting while walking. Suburban cities are more likely to face community-wide problems like texting while driving [link].

Much of SXSW is spent 'networking' and looking for the most relevant show / club / party to crash.  The text-and-walk is the most efficient way to get to where you need to go without losing contact with ur bros who have 'V I P access' to the most important parties/events/showcases.'

All types of bros texting and walking

Even non-bros texted and walked

(the streets of downtown Austin seem relevant and meaningful)

Do bros text and walk in all relevant cities?  Did college campuses already adopt the text-and-walk?

Who invented texting and walking?
Is texting while walking more relevant at SXSW?
Is ur feces more relevant when u poop at a SXSW event?
Is SXSW 'overrated bullshit'?
Are memes from SXSW better than memes from any other era of history?
Should I start a viral meme blog called 'bros who are texting and walking . tumblr . com'?
Has texting and walking already 'gone mainstream'?
Will texting and walking have an art installation at the Guggenheim?
Is this meme as worthless as something like 'people who go shopping use carts'?
What do u use to network + travel with ur bros?
Should parents recommend 'texting and walking' as a safe alternative to texting and driving?
Is it more alt to text from a modern smart phone or from a vintage cell phone?
Is it unfair to assume that they were texting because they might have been using sweet app / Google Maps?

Recently when logging into my twitter, I found out that "Haiti" was a trending topic. Other words like "Earthquake" and "Wyclef" were also popular topics as well. After doing some googling with bing.com, I found out that there was an Earthquake that had 'torn up' Haiti.

Unfortunately, I am pretty uneducated about the state + social makeup of Haiti, but it seems like it is probably a country with minimal opportunities for professional development. Since there aren't innovative young professionals, the country is probably in economic disarray. At gunpoint, I would assume that it is one of those countries that is still trying to recover from the backwardness of colonization, and possibly has some form of government that abuses power in an irrational way. I really have no idea how many people live in Haiti, but it is probably either the size of a medium-sized American city, or something outrageous, like the population of China shoved on to one-tenth of the real estate.

After the earthquake, there has been a huge outcry by people to 'give' in order to help with disaster relief. I feel like I have never been able to sort through the noise surrounding the story, since I am not familiar enough with Haiti to figure out if I am helping with 'disaster relief' or if their country is in 'complete disarray', and by helping, I am indirectly supporting the rebuilding of a country. Modern Americans seem to be all about 'helping' on paper, but not really wanting to 'commit to rebuilding' a nation in the post-Saddam Hussein world. It seems refreshing that Americans want to 'focus on our own country' b4 acting as peacekeeper + social servant to every other country. Apparently the USA is in 'mad debt' so this is also a good economic decision.

I think one of the main bottlenecks to the spirit of authentic philanthropy is probably the early adopters who rally behind a cause that isn't logically identifiable to Americans. I feel like Hurricane Katrina and 9-11 were probably the most identifiable tragedies in modern American History because they happened 'on our own turf.' Because Americans could mildly project themselves  into the unfortunate position of the American victims, the events had a more organic response + genuine rallying cause.

The Levels of American Tragedy as Interpreted by Americans

Level 1 Tragedy/Disaster: Terrorist Act that Kills more than a plane load of people in your own country & leaves a powerful image of destruction like the traditional office building + rubble combo

Examples: 9-11, Oklahoma City bombing [via Timmy McVeigh], the hypothetical situation where a nuclear weapon is detonated in a major city
Notes: The visual imagery of a terrorist attack is impossible for citizens of a country to ever forget. The 'shock and awe' factor of something violent, destructive, and in direct opposition to our way of life is something that makes Middle Americans huddle closer to the center of our great country in order to rally against the bad guys. In addition, poor people usually aren't victims of terrorist acts, so more middle+upperclass people with complex feelings are able to wonder 'what if that was me'?

Level 2 Tragedy/Disaster: Natural Disaster that Happens on Your Own Country's soil

Examples: Hurricane Katrina, miscellaneous Hurricanes that will happen in the next 10 years, Previous Earthquakes in San Fransisco, California breaking off into the Pacific Ocean [via 2012]
Notes: I think this type of disaster really makes people feel bad because of the helplessness of the victims. Natural disasters highlight the helplessness of man against the Earth's natural forces, reminding us that one day we will not be on Earth any more [via global warming/nuclear weapon/meteor hiting earth]. Also, local news outlets can highlight displaced and affected citizens that were displaced to your local community because of the disaster.

Level 3 Tragedy/Disaster: The assassination/tragic death of popular political or celebrity figure who represents a positive or polarizing idea.

Examples: Assassination of JFK, Magic Johnson if he had died of AIDS, miscellaneous assassinations in the Middle East that could spark the third world war, Michael Jackson's assassination
Notes: I feel like the internet would crash if Barrack Obama was assassinated. You would not remember 'where you were' when he was killed; instead, you would remember what you tweeted/something stupid that some1 posted as a facebook update.  In general, people feel like 'order' and societal normalcy is gone when some one who represents these ideas are taken from the Earth.

(I really want to see if an Osama Bin Laden assination has the opposite effect.)

Level 4 Tragedy/Disaster: Natural Disasters in non-American + non-white/english speaking parts of the world

Examples: Landslides & Tsunamis in Pacific Island countries, Earthquakes and shifting plates in the southern/eastern hemisphere
Notes: I think Americans find these to be some what 'sad', and enjoy the process of rallying behind a place they will never see with their own eyes, but I think the Christian spirit of 'giving to the less fortunate' in order to make yourself feel like a 'good person' usually overrides the human spirit. Because Americans are not familiar with foreign lands, they think that their donation of the American dollar or American canned good will help 'save' the country in the long run.

This level of tragedy sort of sums up the feeling you have when you see the trajectory of a hurricane that is pounding a Caribbean Island, but you hope it stays away from America/dies down before it hits our soil.

Level 5 Tragedy Disaster: Micro-terrorist act that kills + injures a limited number of people (not on airplanes), Tornadoes

Examples: Miscellaneous bus bombings, the Olympic Park bombing in Atlanta
Notes: I think these acts are scary, particularly when there is public transportation involved, but I think the human spirit usually assumes that 'nothing bad will happen to them.' While there are usually a few powerful images that come from the attack, it is basically has the aggregate power of 10-15 local news stories that all seem identical to one another/like the tragedy struck some one who didn't matter in an 'isolated incident' kind of way.  Bombs on Airplanes are probably closer to level 1, since people can get really spooked about flying + their plane crashing.

Tornadoes also seem to not be a big deal since hurricanes are usually the most destructive forces. After the movie TWISTER, tornadoes have been branded as something that give you enough time to evacuate + something that you could drive a truck up if you really wanted to [via 'storm chasers'].

Level 6 Tragedy/Disaster: Prolonged Serial Killer spree, school shooting, cults that commit mass suicide

Examples: The Unabomber, Ted Bundi, Columbine school shootings, Lee Boyd Malvo & John Allen Muhammad DC snipers, miscellaneous trendy serial killers, Heaven's Gate, David Koresh + Branch Davidians
Notes: It seems like there haven't really been very many serial killers lately because the people who are 'really fucked up' probably have an outlet for angst at an earlier age. Usually, they just end up listening to hardcore music, playing video games, and working at Taco Bell. I don't think most people really think about the victims in these cases, but are more interested into getting into the minds of the killers. The 'fascination' to understand how some one ended up being so insane, then wanting to kill other people.

Level 7 Tragedy/Disaster: Something that you feel entitled to being 'taken away' from you or made costlier + more inconvenient

Examples: Public transportation and postage increases, Flight Delays, Price markups for goods and services, losing your tumblr username, a larger government entity or private corporation 'screwing you over', a grocery store by your house going out of business and you are forced to go to a larger store with more options that is less convenient to arrive, Napster shutting down
Notes: These level 7 mini-disasters are what give 95% of Americans 'something to talk about' on a daily basis. Some people say that your ability to handle Level 7 disasters is directly related to the the amount of stress + problems in your life. Many of these disasters are due to the human inability to handle the climbing cost of goods and services.

************

We are still learning to accept/deal with/mourn disasters on personal, national, and global scales. This is part of 'evolving' as a human within modern society. Since we now have the ability to 'express ourselves' on the internet [via status message], we are still working out how to effectively mourn/vent/express frustration in order to deal with human tragedy. The act of genuine mourning + reflection is more private than ever, but our presentation of our feelings to our social network is more contrived/deliberately crafted than ever.

These disasters make us who we are, and the more disasters we tweet about to 'make us seem more interesting', the more saturated our personal brand gets within our network. If we tweet about too many personal tragedies, we might lose the attention of our tribe when a 'legitimate' disaster happens. Sorta like 'the bro who cried _______.'

We can only assume that there is some sort of 'guilt' in all of us, or maybe repressed feelings inside of us since there weren't social networks when 9-11 happened. If Generation Y had been able to tweet out their feelings about 9-11, maybe 'the Millenials' would have turned out differently, with less of a desire to overshare.  Maybe we wouldn't over/under react to modern disasters and tragedies since we would have been able to deal with the #1 tragedy of our lives'.  Unfortunately, we will have to wait for another Level 1-3 tragedy before our technological mourning strategies change.

The major disconnect with the Haiti Earthquake was that it was a Level 4 Tragedy that got Level 1 treatment. Because of the rate at which humans can share/mourn/rally, the internet probably 'overreacted' to the tragedy. I feel like the response + outpour of support is a net positive, but the rate at which trends evolve on social sharing services left this 'Give 2 Haiti' trend in the limelight for too long. The longer an idea exists on the viral internet, the more inauthentic the meme becomes. While 'Haiti' is in crisis that warrants aid, there is a hollow core at the center of most 'causes' to help 3rd world countries.

I feel confused by technology when natural disasters that require monetary aid occur. I feel like modern social networks are built for me to have fun and stay connected to my innercircle. It really 'takes me out of my comfort zone' when I am asked to send text messages and tweets for the sake of 'helping'/donating money. It is probably a good idea to help, but I fear being branded as some one who is pressuring other people to 'help.' Even if I gave money privately, it seems like it wouldn't 'mean' as much in the modern world, since I didn't use the act as a way to guilt other people in my network to 'give.'

Major celebrities and famous musicians that sell mad albums have to use natural disasters as a branding tool to 'make it seem like they care.'  They seem to be pursuing the brand of George Clooney, an A-list celebrity who has a brand of 'genuinely caring' + making a difference with little backlash against the authenticity of his philanthropic spirit.

The new 'We Are The World' 25th anniversary remake has become the ultimate symbol of 'philanthropy for the sake of personal branding' by a group of self-involved musicians whose career moves are governed by their PR agents.  It seems like this might have worked if Michael Jackson was still alive and rallied these people. Because he was insane, this insane product probably would have been more acceptable.

I think back in the 1980s, the power of celebrity probably 'meant more.' Celebrities were actually talented resources whose brands represented something larger than life. Today, modern celebrities embody a personal branding strategic robot who must react to social and technological changes on a daily basis.

In the modern world, the most important metric = 'hits'/pageviews/video views. The power of celebrity is only the power of your Google rank, which is why the modern 'We Are the World' wasn't as 'pure' as the original. Seems like they just had to tap into as many possible artists who appeal to varied demographics in order to create the ultimate meme. I am not sure who still 'gets off' to mega collaborations, but maybe the goal of creating a meme with a massive amount of unintentional comedy  is more desirable than avoiding it.

Felt scared seeing Janet Jackson singing with her brother. I am not sure if she matched her skin tone to her brother's for the sake of Haiti.

Lil Wayne autotuning appeared to be like a bold decision meant to cause blog chatter.

Good to see Barbara Streisand collaborate with black + tween artists who she has never heard of for the sake of generating 40+ year old interest.

Great to see rappers 'collabing' to make this song modern with an inspirational rap part.

It seems difficult for consumers to believe that artists are genuinely interested in helping a cause. Their role in the modern pop culture blogosphere is to evolve into trainwrecks + make questionable statements or life decisions. When so many popular people enter a room in the name of 'saving Haiti', it is natural to doubt their intentions, since they are only really useful to consumers as people who make mp3s + newsbits for us to consume.  We no longer live in the 80s dreamworld when being a 'celebrity' means that you have something worth saying.

Even Wyclef Jean, the bro from Haiti, has been accused of trying to rejuvenate his career by piggybacking off the Haiti crisis meme. For the past several years, he has really only been known as 'the poor Man's Will.I.Am.'  Wonder if he is trying to turn into a 'God' amongst the Hatian people.

Wonder if Arnold Schwartzeneggy became Governor of California because he cared about making the state a better place, or because it was a great opportunity to redefine his personal brand while assuming minimal risk.

Are celebrities/musicians 'smart people' who know what they are talking about? Is it their duty to 'speak up' for causes since 'stupid tweens' listen to them, or should the government regulate celebrity philanthropy? Should the government just have a 'global cause' tax so that citizens don't have to worry about donating to a charity for every global crisis?

It seems difficult to 'select a charity' that will turn your donation into a necessary resource these days. I feel like most of the articles I read say that charities that are run by celebrities and athletes 'don't know what the fuck they are doing.' Basically, they build a foundation with their own name attached to it as a way to employ some their family+friends with minimal tax implications.

So confused. Everything seems like it is presented as a Level 1 crisis in the modern blogosphere/news cycle. I think this is probably to 'generate hits' and give media outlets a globally aware, compassionate brand. Just wish I didn't have to deal with it, like I could limit my own network of news.

Feeling overwhelemed, like I need to tweet about my personal philanthropic crisis, but then I am worried about 'seeming like an ass hole' for 'not caring.' Just wish people would realize that I am self-aware, and I accept that I will be the most organically moved by events that directly implicate me. Like my parents dying or my best friend getting run over by a car. Wish ppl could understand that I'm not selfish, just trying to manage my emotional capital without getting all bummed out.

Just wish more social media sharing + personal branding tools were around during 9-11 and Janet Jackson Nipplegate so that I would have had a modern outlet to talk about a critical moment in my social formation. Jealous of tweens for getting to grow up on high speed internet loaded with rich, streaming content.

How do yall handle tragedies/disasters?
Do u care when something bad happens 2 ppl on the other side of the world?
Do yall care about Haiti?
Does n e 1 know an authentic charity 2 donate to?
Should we just 'bomb the fuck' out of Haiti [via people who thought we should just nuke Iraq]?
Is We are the World 25 the best/worst meme of 2k10?
Should indie celebs make their own version of 'We Are The World', then give the mp3 away for free to raise money for Haiti?
Do 3rd World Countries 'matter less' since their countries are already in disarray?
Should American focus on saving America before saving the world?
Should the Red Cross be disbanded?
Was Vince Vaughn this most important contributor to 'We are the World 25'?

Should we create a new 'We Are the World' version every time a natural disaster happens?
Do u feel pressured to 'give'/'care', then feel guilty a lil bit?
Do u trust your mobile carrier since they 'rip u off' every month?
Should we send Haitian citizen iPods preloaded with the 'We Are the World' remake to help them to move on from their national tragedy?

If I could work for any cutting edge Web 3.0 company, I would probably work for twitter. I use google to find stuff, facebook to look at pix of hot girls, and miscellaneous blogging applications...but I feel like twitter would be a place to call home. Could imagine walking into Twitter every day, being inspired by people who I also inspire, just by existing, being full of life, and wanting to make the world a better place [via social technology]. Seems like a company that wouldn't even require company email... wonder if they only communicate [via tweets]. 140 chrctrs or less.

I want to work at a place that has a 'chill zone'/'recreational room.' Seems like I cold really @relax in this @break_space. Maybe I could read a magazine there, or perhaps sit on my laptop and read tech blogs.

Would also do a lot of 'serious work', like uploading tweets, twitpics, and even creating hyperlinks. Might 'get serious' in a conference call at a long table.

Even though I would be 'assigned to a cubicle', it wouldn't feel as demeaning as a cubicle in a worthless, generic company. Would connect with my coworkers, and wouldn't feel bad about my progressive web browsing/timewasting. I feel like my boss would understand that 'general web browsing' creates a happy, productive employee.

I have heard that Twitter has 'mad funding.' Hope this means that there is a breakroom loaded with miscellaneous pastries + CLIF bars + etc.

Defs gonna take advantage of the 'fully loaded' refrigerator. Gonna drink Cokes until my teeth 'fucking rot.' Hope I don't get reprimanded for 'draining' the food budget...

Might make some meaningful arts and crafts inspired by my employer.

Definitely going to push to get a DJ station installed in the recreation center.

Going to try to take my DJ career to the next level by utilizing 'trending topics'/

Gonna try to 'get flirty' with my female boss, teaching her how to 'crossfade' some songs together, and 'beat match.' Going to stand behind her, and put my hands on her waist, encouraging her to bounce to the beat of the music.

Just want 2 innovate the world...
Just want 2 innovate 'communication'...
Just want 2 be 'myself' and get paid 4 it....
Want 2 be 'more than just a resource'...

Just need a workplace 2 call home...

What is ur dream job?
What web 2.0/web 1.0/web 3.0 company would u want 2 work 4?
Does the twitter HQ effectively use space to inspire their employees?
Should all employers be required to provide free food + drink?
WTF is a '401K'?
Should I move to 'Silicon Valley' and start a microblogging community/real-time search pyramid scheme?
Is it better to be employed or unemployed?
Do u think they are allowed 2 snort blow/addy at work at Twitter, LLC?
Should twitter install 'parental controls' for tween twitter users?

Previous 'memorable' post about ur perfect career
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/05/my-jobcareer-does-not-align-with-my-true-personal-brand.html

I was reading that popular tween sensation Miley Cyrus deactivated her twitter account. It will go down in history as the 'most tragic' internet suicide of all time, since she had over 2 million followers. She has fame and internet fame that the majority of the world will never achieve. She didn't just have 'mad hits', she had a tribe of tweens who 'genuinely cared about her and looked up to her as a tastemaker.' I just want to understand 'why' she did it. Why she would 'throw it all away'?

I am so confused. When Miley first came on the indie scene, she had a lyric that said, 'She's just being Miley.' It's kinda weird how that cryptic statement is the only way to describe her enigmatic personality. It's like one day she is tweeting a bunch, then the next day she just says 'fuck it yall.' She truly is 'just being Miley.'

I have read 'doomsday articles' that say this is 'the end of twitter', since tweeple now have role models who were 'strong enough' to quit twitter. Instead of mimicking role models who are 'twitter addicts', tweens will now be more independent and mimmick role models who are 'twitter quitters.'

Miley Cyrus made a 'youtube rap video' explaining why she deactivated her twitter.

This video demonstrates the tween's desire for 'something more.' A lifestream of text filled with 140 character statements just doesn't give U enough room to BE U. It seems like Miley needed to do something that required a lot more bandwidth to 'get her message across.' Choosing to make a 'yewtewb viddy' was probably the optimal choice to break free from a limited twitter format. It seems like during this video, we watch a tween 'break out of her cocoon' and become a beautiful butterfly. She totally 'shits on' the identity that she created for herself [via pix, song quotes, musings] and moves forward with her life--a life that belongs 2 her and no1 else.

Miley Cyrus didn't have a traditional childhood. She was not able to experience social media in a micro-context. It seems like maybe she turned to 'social media' to try to replicate human relationships+interactions+socialspheres, but it was just this weird experience of 'people looking at her.' It's a shame that she used twitter as a 'lifestream' instead of a 'marketing tool.' Seems like she could have tinyurled a shitload of tweens to a link to buy her shit in the iTunes.


"I stopped living for moments and started living for people." -Miley Cyrus, 2009

I wonder what the general existential crisis of the modern tween is. What do tweens truly want out of life? I feel like most tweens would be happy with '200-500 twitter followers/fb friends' and feeling 'important' in their local high school scene (a $500/month allowance would also make them 'hella rich'). The perfect tween life probably involves 'being hella famous', being a 'musician', starring in movies+tv, and having over 1 million followers. I am not sure if the modern tween thinks about 'life after tweenhood' or if they will just continue to 'act like tweens' well into their 20s, still accidentally identifying with Disney family brands. It's really a shame that Miley gave up a perfect life on the internet. Hope that she doesn't 'isolate' her fans.

I think that Miley Cyrus wants to 'appear to be normal.' She wants to be a tween. I think that tweens want to be Miley Cyrus. It seems like these two entities need 1 another to have an individual identity, but for some reason, both will 'die trying' to be the other. Seems tragic. Almost as traggy as 'giving up' 2 million followers. I feel like she should have at least 'auctioned off her account' since tons of companies would value the opportunity to tap into her fan base. Maybe an energy company, or possibly the entire marketing budget of a pay-as-you-go phone service could have used her account to spam out coupons/etc.

Maybe we all want our moments to seem 'more meaningful.' Maybe we all need some sort of social tool that is a visual representation of the extent to which we 'fit in' with the world. Maybe we need a social tool to document our lives'. Seems like the modern existence is s000 frustrating, since we all have a creative side that needs 2 be unleashed, but we are only given social networks with limited fields to express ourselves. JPG is more meaningful than text. Embedded videos are more meaningful than JPGs. Will Google Wave be the most meaningful communication tool in the history of the world?

(WTF is Google Wave? Have heard mad hype about it. Seems like I should want it, kinda like a Wii/iPhone/etc. Not sure what it is, but I have read it will 'change the way the internet works'. Does n e 1 know if Miley is on GoogWave?)

Need 2 express myself on my own terms, on and off the internet.

Just want to be the 'ultimate artist.' Just want to 'seem interesting' to people. Want to feel 'transcendent.' Want my life 2 belong 2 me, but also want my life to make other people feel jealous/bored with their own existences. Does n e 1 know how I can accomplish all of this? Will deactivating my twitter/facebook help me accomplish this, or will it make it more difficult for me to experience a meaningful life?

Just want to be an individual
and let the world know that I am an individual
(I am me)
(I am me)
But don't want to let the world know too much
and dilute the meaningfulness of my life

Just want to 'be a kid'
Just want to 'be a tween girl'
experiment with boys, feelings, and padded bras
want my tits to look 'huge' but also maintain my social and sexual innocence

Want to tweet
Want to vlog
Want to blog
Want to be a 'musician' and write lyrics that appeal 2 a universal zeitgeist
Maybe there's a lil bit of tween inside of all of us.

Should I 'off myself' on the internet?
Do people who deactivate internet profiles always 'just come back' cuz they are lonely and tortured?
R u kewler on the internet or in real life?
Should I stop blogging and start vlogging rap songs?
Will tweens 'sit on their asses and tweet all day'?
Will tweens revolt against the internet when they turn 18 and make a more significant contribution to mankind than Generation Y?

Previous 'Celebs on Twitter' Coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/04/in-pursuit-of-being-the-ultimate-bro-the-life-goal-of-ashton-kutcher.html

Photos via the cobrasnake

I remember when digital cameras first came out. Every one was 'pumped', thinking things like 'I don't have to take my disposable camera to get developed any more.' The advent of an affordable digital camera was almost as liberating as when God invented 'the mp3' and we didn't have to buy music any more. We all thought 'we can capture as many moments as we want, snap all of our friends, and never forget anything for the rest of our lives, and we get to do this by saving money on bullshit like film and going 2 the grocery store to get the film developed.' (Ppl get rlly excited when they think that their lives' are becoming 'better' while they are 'saving money.')

Unfortunately, the digital camera experience is no longer authentic. U r just '1 of many ppl trying 2 capture life with a camera.' Ultimately feel like it is a bad thing that so many ppl have the capability of 'capturing moments 4evr.'

It is sad that the digital camera experience is no longer an 'authentic one' because too many people have them. Because too many people have cameras, too many digital images exist. Because so many digital images exist, posted in places like facebooks, blogs, twitpics, and flickrs, all images became less meaningful. This falls in line with the Theory of Authenticity.

(this theory also applies 2 'so many ppl ruining social networks', and 'so many fans ruining bands')

Because so many digital images exist, there is no point in even taking a picture. Whether it is a picture of your friends, family, an artistic shot on your trip to NYC, or an image out the window of the airplane while you are flying, your images are less meaningful. You should stop trying to take pictures. Also feel sad that it's sooo EZ 2 jam a camera into a phone. Seems less meaningful when you turn a technological item into a 'combo', sorta like those DVD player + VHS player 'combos' that old people got bc they wanted to make sure that their VHS movies were still 'useful.'

I honestly feel superior to mainstream point-and-shoot camera owners. Totes h8 'mainstream bitches' who take pix in bars, and then will crop their friends out of the picture just so that they can have a sweet facebook user pic. Also the 'bros who take pix at concerts and then post them 2 their facebook 2 show how close 2 the band they were.' Digital Cameras just became 'too mainstream' when they became 'affordable' for parents to buy for their tween kids as a 'solid birthday/xmas gift.' Seems like something that 'frugal, manipulative' parents would buy for their kids now, wanting their kids to think that they 'spent a lot of money on them, and really sacrificed 4 their happiness.'

S000 tired of ppl thinking 'making fun of myspace style pix' is revolutionary comedy.

From what I understand myspace is now a 'digital graveyard', and only the blacks, latino gheys, and white tweens who live in rural areas and haven't received the message that ppl use 'twitbook' now.

I seriously think I'm going to 'destroy' my point-and-shoot camera [via putting it on ebay] and using money to buy 'marijuana cigarettes' and 'cocaine bumps.'

Really miss the 'thrill' of consumer technology when ur on the forefront of it. Like the first time u went to 'youtube.com' and searched for something zany and random, and thought 2 urself 'this is gonna be the start of something...and I'm definitely 1 of the first ppl 2 find out abt it. I'd better tell a bunch of ppl abt it so that they know that they learned it from me.'

Just need 2 admit that I don't use technology bc it makes my life better--I used it bc it seems to make me 'kewler' if I have it 1st.

I believe that Barrack Obama is a modern President dealing with modern problems. Not just 'mainstream' problems like 'dealing with the Brown part of the world' or 'trying to reduce our national debt', but problems that 'real people' can 'relate to.' I was recently looking at this picture of Obama 'having a serious discussion' with an AZN intern about his employment status. Apparently, this White House intern had numerous photos of himself in 'provocative situations' posted on his facebook, and even had very 'racist' and 'sexual' twitter posts on his @twitter. He even had an embedded picture of a 'marijuana leaf' and 'a Bob Marley gif' on his myspace page.

Unfortunately, many republicans have called for the AZN bro to be fired/executed. As u can see in the photograph, he is remorseful, and looking for @BarresObames to be 'a bro' in his time of need.

I am not sure if he deserves to be fired. I think that all young people in America below the age of 23 deserve to 'express themselves' freely on the internet. It's part of living a healthy life. It doesn't matter if your online presence is 'out there' or even 'controversial.' It doesn't always mean ur the same on the internet as u r in real life. Wish ppl could understand that 'disconnect.' Wish they'd realize that ppl like the internet because u can seem 'better than u actually are' and also 'bully people' legally.

I think that in the past 'old people' have never been able to 'get' why young ppl talk 2 eachother all of the time, whether via internet or text message. Now that Barry Obama used 'the internet' 2 win an election, he 'understands' that young ppl need to 'chill on the internet' in order to 'remain healthy.' I am hoping that he lets this slide, and he can set a good example for all employers who fire ppl because they 'posted something bad' online.

Do yall think the AZN should be fired?
Should employers be allowed 2 'look at ur twitter/fb/myspace'?
Should I 'deactivate all of my pages' since I am looking for a job?
Is Obama a 'dictator'?
Should we create 'internment camps' and ship AZNs to them, and only allow them to use xanga/other online tools that 'basically only AZNs use'?
Should we 'nuke the fuck out of' Iran?

I feel really confused by the mass media today. From what I understand, traditional news sources are dying, and new types of social media, such as blogs, twitter, and youtube are taking over the jobs of journalists, etc. People are reporting the news themselves'. We don't need 'bullshit talking heads' delivering stories, or an anonymous newsfeed telling us the news. We can get it 'straight from the _____'s mouth.'

N e ways... I recently followed 2 stories on the internet that were very social-media centric. 1 of them happened in the Iran and 1 of them happened in our United States. Still not sure which 1 is a bigger deal/which was a worse situation. Feel like the downside of 'social media' is that u can't really tell what is important, and what is just a meme, since it is on the internet.

Meme #1: Video of Iranian Girl Getting Shot + dying after riots
I saw a video of some woman named Neda who lived in Iran, until she protested against the 'bullshit' going down in their country, and got shot by the government.

I feel like she is 'a victim.' First I thought it was just some sort of 'viral marketing campaign' for Final Destination X, but then realized 'oh shit--this is real. damn. thought it would be removed from youtube but guess they are keeping it up since it is an Iran meme.'

Meme #2: Perez Hilton getting 'assaulted' by Will.I.Am 4 calling him a 'faggot'
But then I saw this meme about Perez Hilton getting 'punched in the face' for calling Will.I.Am a 'faggot.' This is a video response about 'the incident' by famous celeb blogger 'Perez Hilton.'

I feel like he might be 'a bigger victim' than the lady from Iran. From what I understand, millions of people read his site every day, and this makes him possibly more important than most news sources. Basically, his brand is more important than ur local news and pitchfork combined. Sorta weird 2 think about.

Not sure which 1 was a bigger 'injustice.' Not sure which 1 is more representative of an innocent person being 'fucked over' by an 'evil' in the world. Feel like Perez Hilton might have taught us a more universal lesson, which was 'never question the sexuality of a black person.' Feel like he taught us that black ppl are 'insanely homophobic' and that u should never use strong buzzwords that question their sexuality. Might also have taught us to not let 'i.r.l. faggots' / 'emotionally immature ppl' express themselves on the internet.

I think Perez Hilton might be more of a 'victim' because he used twitter to 'call the police' instead of 'dialing 911.' Hopefully 1 day u will be able to tweet @911.

Feel like 'Perez Hilton' is DEAD SERIOUS. He is using his 'assault' as a platform for victims against violence. Based on his vlog, u could assume that 'the world is about to end.'

(keut vneck/pouty face)

but the Iranian girl is 'actually dead'. Think she might have a more 'authentic' type of cause behind her, even if she can't post a response vlog [via being a ghost].

Feel like she possibly 'died 4 more' or is 'a more relevant victim of violence.'

It's kinda weird how news is becoming like indie music--we can't tell the difference between 'whatz hyped' and 'what is actually important/relevant.' Feel like there's a huge burden on me to sort through this kind of stuff, and I'm not sure if I'm prepared for it. h8 technology.

Who is the more authentic victim of violence?

Photo via TeensBlog

Sometimes I wonder
what the world was like
before God invented digital projection technology
and 'enhanced' the shows of some of my favourite bands

Can't believe there was a time
when bros didn't have access to digital cameras
video editing software, The Adobe Creative Suite, and miscellaneous ways to make 'trippy visuals' that may or may not
'fit' with the band's music.

Feel 'massively relieved' that bands can 'perform in the dark'
with accompanying 'visuals'
that add to my 'concert going experience.'
Wonder if Anco would 'be as good' without 'sillie visuals'
wonder if u could still 'blaze' and go to a 'pink floyd laser show'
without technologie.

Can't believe I am 'living in the future'
in a place where people can 'read my thoughts'
almost instantaneously
while I am any where in the world [via twitter]

Wonder how old concerts were
back when it was just 'dumb dudes playing guitar'
now we don't have to focus on bros
and can focus on 'a 3d experience'

Damn.
'the future is now'

Do yall think technologie makes life/art/music better?
Or does it 'cover up' the flaws in some of ur favourite experiences?

Just traded in my Razr for an iPhone. My 2 year plan finally expired. My parents wouldn't let me break out 'family plan' contract since I used up all of our minutes + text messages + data.

N e ways...Been trying to research iPhone applications 2 download.

APP #1: Mad Decent App
Saw this DJ app by the popular subsidiary of Down Town Records, MAD DECENT.
The popular DJ bro 'Diplo' smokes 'a blunt' and 'explains how the app works. I think it just takes zany sounds that they sample, and allows you to make 'sick beats.'

I think this is how Diplo produced the popular song 'Paper Planes (ft M.I.A.)". He basically just took tons of zany sounds and 'made them big.' Think this might be a new electro model for the startup myspace DJ duo that me and my bro are starting out. I think they call it 'the Mario Paint Musical Composer' style of producing beats.

Wish Nintendo would turn this in2 some sort of 'iPhone app'/sell it for the Wii/Nintendo DS.

APP #2: Cocaine App
I also saw this really kewl iPhone application that allows me to do blow off my iPhone. Not sure if the cocaine is real, or if the app lets me network with local drug dealers to 'get the best price' on a kilo.

Can't believe my dream finally came true. [see previous memorable post]

I heard that in our modern world, bands no longer need to 'make albums/songs.' All they really need to do is create iPhone apps. Scared that we will only need iPhones/iPods to run applications/musical programs in the future. Think the future of the computer is 'somewhere between lappy and iPhone gadget.'

Just want to build the perfect 'app' that is 'fun' AND 'useful', kind of like an iPhone.

Does n e 1 know what 'apps' is short for?
What kind of phone do yall have, and do u have any kewl apps/games on it like 'Snake'?

sent from my iPhone

Photo by the Sartorialist

I walked in on my dad looking at himself in the mirror
naked
He did not know I was watching him
He looked analytical, somber, reflective, and sad

Lately, my father has been losing hair
gaining weight
getting older
Making more choices to make himself seem 'more youthful'
but ultimately acting 'dumb' and 'self-destructive'

He cheated on my mom
It makes her sad
but I think he is insecure
Overheard him yell, "SHE MAKES ME FEEL YOUNG AGAIN."
He also keeps asking me 'what bands do u listen to?'
and bought tickets to a Kings of Leon concert

I think they just need 2 talk about getting older
and embrace that life ends
and that u need 2 surround urself with 'people u authentically <3'
Not sure if it healthy to 'feel sad' about getting older

Maybe there is just a time in ur life
where u need to 'sit on the couch, turn on the TV, and stop sulking'
realizing that the 'best' days of ur life r behind u
and in the future u will only become more physically incompetent
and unable to keep up with the pace at which society/technology changes

It makes me sad that we're all getting older
I just want to feel and look the same
as I did during 'my prime'
Worried that my 'prime' has passed
or maybe I am not 'happy' during 'my prime'

Want 2 be a tween again
'but wouldn't give up the knowledge I have now'
If only our parents knew
how easy their lives' were
since they didn't have to deal with stressful modern issues
like 'sexting' and 'sexually transmitted diseases' and 'information overload' and 'memes'

Just want 2 b happie?

They only want u when ur seventween
when ur 21
ur all old and ur sexual organs are probs contaminated

////////////////////
do u feel urself 'getting older'?
R ur parents going through 'a mid life crisis'?
R u afraid 2 get old cuz it means ur closer 2 dying?
Do u want to die of 'old age', 'a disease' or 'a tragic accident that is a bloggable meme.'