This bro is an Astronaut for the popular web 2.0 company NASA.

[Photos by cobrasnake]

He decided to use his performance as a portal to ‘another galaxy.’ (cuz he chills in space)
He even discovered a new breed of alien who lives on another planet that has Am Appies.

It was a zany and fun time with tons of intergalactic creatures. The altCrowd ‘loved’ how it was ‘not supposed to be taken seriously’ but also represented a portal to a different galaxy in a serious way.

As yall know, HRO is a blog about finding sustainable business models/gimmicks. As performers, yall have to realize that you need 2 do whatever it takes to get blogged about. Kind of like the pizza alt. U have 2 understand that u are creating 4dimensional experience for your fans.

Can yall think of any good DJ/band gimmicks for the upcoming decade?

Please note that these videos are [HIGHLY RECCD], not only because you get to see John Norris’ never-ending-quest to be a lil alt, but because you want to understand what it’s like to participate in the revolution that is a geographically-contained creative renaissance.

Note: HIGHLY RECCT VIDEOS MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE IN YOUR RSS READER
************
Un-Earthed Location #1: A small American city called “Portland, Oregon.”

Did this video almost make your head explode, too? SRSLY. I rlllly hate Portland and any other ’second tier’ cities that claim to be culturally relevant by playing up the whole ‘alternative gimmick.’ There is an excess of shitty musicians who are Starbucks/Chili’s employees in every city, so I hate when a city’s personal brand revolves around ’sounding like they really mean it when they make their shitty music/attend their shitty, awkward concerts.’

I’d say Austin, TX is pretty good example of ’shitty city who is gimmickifying it’s underwhelmingly-alternative brand’, too. Most of the music in Austin, TX is more approachable indie fodder than the Portland concept crap, so I’ll give the edge to Portland when it comes to ‘moderately alt cities that major-city-alts-want-to-move-to-bc-they-think-their-life-will-be-simple, yet-authentic,yet-still-as-alt as they feel comfortable with.’ No matter what, we all need an alt-city full of alts to feel comfortable around without the high-cost-of-living that major metropolitan areas have. Don’t you feel like you have met a lot of people who have idealized Portland and Austin as ‘heaven on alt-earth’? Like they imagine settling down with a humble-&-emotionally-connected trophy alt who is done with his/her ‘partying phase’ and ready to start buying well-designed carriages for their newborn babies (lil alts).

Common traits of overhyped 2nd rate alternative cities:

• Perception of being ‘green’
• Perception of a bustling ‘local economy’
• A high ‘basically unemployment’ rate (this figure represents people who are over 30, but still have the jobs a 16 year old would have)
• An excess of corporate and independent coffee shops
• An excess of people with too many tattoos working in independent coffee shops
• An excess of coffee shop employees playing RLLY gimmicky ‘interesting’ music in coffee shops during their shifts/playing the albums of their friend’s band who sound exactly like _______
• Overhearing the ‘future plans’ of people who work in these coffee shops to start their own business in design/food/recordstore/boutique/other alternative biz idea.
• An excess of people in bands that have shows in an excess of venues
• An otherwise stable maintream economy which allows the alternative population to work in the service industry. While this usually happens in all cities, the minorities in the service industry are replaced by these aging alts.
• Overhearing all of these people talking about stuff that was cool between 2 to 40 years ago. They basically have a 2 year delay on ‘what is currently cool’ and usually just rely on ‘liking aesthetics/bands that are from before 1985.’
• A handful of decent bands, a few imitators, and a bunch of krappie bands that have tied their identity to their home city and guilt their friends into attending their show/post a lot of myspace bulletins to impressionable local-17-year olds.
• They attempt to assert their city-wide inferiority complexes by having excessive representation when it comes to liberal activities, particularly ‘marches.’ Examples include Gay Pride Marches, Anti-Racism Marches, Marches Against ‘The War’, and general Marches Against Stuff That Exists Because of Conservative People.
• These cities have significant populations of ‘cool dads’ and ‘free spirited moms’ by choice/believe in their personal images, as opposed to the real-city versions of these parents who are simply ‘participating in a gimmick which they have no control over.’
• A lot of these cities have a major university or a well-branded liberal arts school with a progressive identity which the ‘hip side of town’ feels like they need to cater to in order to keep up sales of vegan wraps, pizza-made-from-only-organic-ingredients, and interesting t-shirts.

N e ways. Do yall like these types of cities or what? Am I wrong? Should the Mayor of Portland ’show me around the alt side of town’ and then ‘take me on a tour of their business district’?

I think a lot of cities/hip communities within a city all have some of these traits. Did I miss n e traits?

[PLEASE NOTE: I DO LIKE STARFUCKER FROM PORTLAND, BUT I WILL STOP LIKING THEM WHEN PEOPLE START CALLING THEM 'THE NEXT MGMT' AND THEIR RCRD LABEL FORCES THEM TO CHANGE THEIR NAME. ]

[PLEASE NOTE: I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE GONE THROUGH AN EXISTENTIAL PHASE WHERE I LISTENED TO A LOT OF THE MICROPHONES AND HAVE DECIDED TO NOT TAKE ANYTHING FROM PORTLAND SERIOUSLY IN ORDER TO FORGET THE PERSON WHO I USED TO THINK I WAS IN 2KNEVER.]

[PLEASE NOTE: I H8 95% OF THE PEOPLE I HAVE MET FROM PORTLAND. I THINK I JUST DON'T LIKE PEOPLE WHO THINK WHERE THEY LIVE IS ANY MORE/LESS INTERESTING THAN N E WHERE ELSE.]

******
Unearthed Location #2: A country called France

Can some one please explain the differences between the bands JUS-TICE and JEW-STEESE? If they are going to use an American world, I think they should say it like a proud American. “Justice” was a concept invented in America, so it doesn’t matter how.

N e ways, this video is s00 true. Those Frenchies are stealing our culture and selling it back 2 us. SOME1 NEEDS TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS. Our American alternative celebrities are letting us down. Also, the American government should ban foreign artists from utilizing our memes and media from the past in order to make money off their art. America should probably ally with Australia in the ElectroWar.

Journalists need to stop focusing on geographic locations, and start realizing that
we all live on the Internet. There’s no such thing as a ‘city’ n e m0re, yall. We’re all citizens of Blogville/the blogosphere/the memesphere/the information super fagway.

In conclusion, we need America to unite as a nation to create popular alternative music. Carles is doing his best to help the United States by working hard on the HIPSTER RUNOFF debut EP.

HRO is sooo mainstream. I can’t believe I still blg abt all of these mainstream bands that are alllll over MTV.

I’m just searching for authentic authenticity. :-(

Please note that these videos are [HIGHLY RECCD], not only because you get to see John Norris’ never-ending-quest to be a lil alt, but because you want to understand what it’s like to participate in the revolution that is a geographically-contained creative renaissance.

Note: HIGHLY RECCT VIDEOS MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE IN YOUR RSS READER
************
Un-Earthed Location #1: A small American city called “Portland, Oregon.”

Did this video almost make your head explode, too? SRSLY. I rlllly hate Portland and any other ’second tier’ cities that claim to be culturally relevant by playing up the whole ‘alternative gimmick.’ There is an excess of shitty musicians who are Starbucks/Chili’s employees in every city, so I hate when a city’s personal brand revolves around ’sounding like they really mean it when they make their shitty music/attend their shitty, awkward concerts.’

I’d say Austin, TX is pretty good example of ’shitty city who is gimmickifying it’s underwhelmingly-alternative brand’, too. Most of the music in Austin, TX is more approachable indie fodder than the Portland concept crap, so I’ll give the edge to Portland when it comes to ‘moderately alt cities that major-city-alts-want-to-move-to-bc-they-think-their-life-will-be-simple, yet-authentic,yet-still-as-alt as they feel comfortable with.’ No matter what, we all need an alt-city full of alts to feel comfortable around without the high-cost-of-living that major metropolitan areas have. Don’t you feel like you have met a lot of people who have idealized Portland and Austin as ‘heaven on alt-earth’? Like they imagine settling down with a humble-&-emotionally-connected trophy alt who is done with his/her ‘partying phase’ and ready to start buying well-designed carriages for their newborn babies (lil alts).

Common traits of overhyped 2nd rate alternative cities:

• Perception of being ‘green’
• Perception of a bustling ‘local economy’
• A high ‘basically unemployment’ rate (this figure represents people who are over 30, but still have the jobs a 16 year old would have)
• An excess of corporate and independent coffee shops
• An excess of people with too many tattoos working in independent coffee shops
• An excess of coffee shop employees playing RLLY gimmicky ‘interesting’ music in coffee shops during their shifts/playing the albums of their friend’s band who sound exactly like _______
• Overhearing the ‘future plans’ of people who work in these coffee shops to start their own business in design/food/recordstore/boutique/other alternative biz idea.
• An excess of people in bands that have shows in an excess of venues
• An otherwise stable maintream economy which allows the alternative population to work in the service industry. While this usually happens in all cities, the minorities in the service industry are replaced by these aging alts.
• Overhearing all of these people talking about stuff that was cool between 2 to 40 years ago. They basically have a 2 year delay on ‘what is currently cool’ and usually just rely on ‘liking aesthetics/bands that are from before 1985.’
• A handful of decent bands, a few imitators, and a bunch of krappie bands that have tied their identity to their home city and guilt their friends into attending their show/post a lot of myspace bulletins to impressionable local-17-year olds.
• They attempt to assert their city-wide inferiority complexes by having excessive representation when it comes to liberal activities, particularly ‘marches.’ Examples include Gay Pride Marches, Anti-Racism Marches, Marches Against ‘The War’, and general Marches Against Stuff That Exists Because of Conservative People.
• These cities have significant populations of ‘cool dads’ and ‘free spirited moms’ by choice/believe in their personal images, as opposed to the real-city versions of these parents who are simply ‘participating in a gimmick which they have no control over.’
• A lot of these cities have a major university or a well-branded liberal arts school with a progressive identity which the ‘hip side of town’ feels like they need to cater to in order to keep up sales of vegan wraps, pizza-made-from-only-organic-ingredients, and interesting t-shirts.

N e ways. Do yall like these types of cities or what? Am I wrong? Should the Mayor of Portland ’show me around the alt side of town’ and then ‘take me on a tour of their business district’?

I think a lot of cities/hip communities within a city all have some of these traits. Did I miss n e traits?

[PLEASE NOTE: I DO LIKE STARFUCKER FROM PORTLAND, BUT I WILL STOP LIKING THEM WHEN PEOPLE START CALLING THEM 'THE NEXT MGMT' AND THEIR RCRD LABEL FORCES THEM TO CHANGE THEIR NAME. ]

[PLEASE NOTE: I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE GONE THROUGH AN EXISTENTIAL PHASE WHERE I LISTENED TO A LOT OF THE MICROPHONES AND HAVE DECIDED TO NOT TAKE ANYTHING FROM PORTLAND SERIOUSLY IN ORDER TO FORGET THE PERSON WHO I USED TO THINK I WAS IN 2KNEVER.]

[PLEASE NOTE: I H8 95% OF THE PEOPLE I HAVE MET FROM PORTLAND. I THINK I JUST DON'T LIKE PEOPLE WHO THINK WHERE THEY LIVE IS ANY MORE/LESS INTERESTING THAN N E WHERE ELSE.]

******
Unearthed Location #2: A country called France

Can some one please explain the differences between the bands JUS-TICE and JEW-STEESE? If they are going to use an American world, I think they should say it like a proud American. “Justice” was a concept invented in America, so it doesn’t matter how.

N e ways, this video is s00 true. Those Frenchies are stealing our culture and selling it back 2 us. SOME1 NEEDS TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS. Our American alternative celebrities are letting us down. Also, the American government should ban foreign artists from utilizing our memes and media from the past in order to make money off their art. America should probably ally with Australia in the ElectroWar.

Journalists need to stop focusing on geographic locations, and start realizing that
we all live on the Internet. There’s no such thing as a ‘city’ n e m0re, yall. We’re all citizens of Blogville/the blogosphere/the memesphere/the information super fagway.

In conclusion, we need America to unite as a nation to create popular alternative music. Carles is doing his best to help the United States by working hard on the HIPSTER RUNOFF debut EP.

HRO is sooo mainstream. I can’t believe I still blg abt all of these mainstream bands that are alllll over MTV.

I’m just searching for authentic authenticity. :-(

It’s not fair when other people use unfair gimmicks that exploit feelings of sympathy from others. Do u think his arm is rlly broken? Or are medical accessories the new shutter shades?

Used n e good gimmicks lately?
I wore American Appy to this [private party] and a bunch of people were impressed, and it started a lot of interesting conversation about art, philosophy, and the impact of the blogosphere on modern journalism.

[via Ev Said]

How many positive experiences have you had in record stores? Is it a Generation X thing? I feel like most of my experiences when it comes to buying music were in places like Blockbuster Music, Warehouse Music, Sam Goody, or some other chain that sold CDs for $18. I always found the franchises to be a better environment than the indie record stores, because you didn’t have to have some schmuck at the counter make a comment about your CD purchase (and if they didn’t comment, they’d give you a scoffing look that meant “I can’t believe they’re buying THAT album”).

Does it make sense for ‘online music magazines/blogs/websites’ to support RECORD STORE DAY? I feel like atleast 5% of the why I even spend time writing HIPSTER RUNOFF is to shut down independent record stores. After movies like “High Fidelity” and “Empire Records”, I think it’s just time to move forward from glorifying stores that sell mostly crappy CDs, and shut down most record stores. Do you think RECORD STORE DAY was organized by all of the major record labels as a last chance effort to ‘get people to buy CDs?’

Do u guys wanna go shop for some records, read some magazines, and search for authenticity?

I don’t really buy into the theory of ‘the people who care the most about music are the ones who shop at independent record stores.’ I’d say the people who care the most about music are the ass holes who spend too much time online, and find a way to get it for free. Independent Record Stores are usually pretty ‘hit or miss’ when it comes to selection. Sure, there are some in major metropolitan areas that are probably pretty well-stocked, but for ever 1 of those, there are at least 10 crappy record stores selling stuff that you might as well pick up off of the “Staff Selections” rack at BORDERS.

RCRD ST0RE supporters say that their clerk is able to give them [Recommendations] based on what they have purchased in the past. I really think that the Amazon Recommendations, or iTunes features like ‘people who purchased this also purchased…” is way more valuable than a scruffy dude telling you to ‘check out Sparta since you’re buying that At The Drive In CD.’

I think the worst part about record stores is that you actually buy complete albums. Usually, complete albums aren’t worth purchasing. There’s nothing like sorting through your CD collection from ages 9-19, and wondering what it all means. Why did you buy all of these mainstream alt-rock albums? You wish you could have all of that money back that you wasted on crappy CDs, pogs, basketball cards, and other stupid hobbies. The internet helps us become better consumers by providing us with important information before we make decisions.

In addition, most music is recommended by your friends, acquaintances, and especially douchebags who care about music too much. The internet has given a great opportunity for douchebags who care about music too much to be heard, and to gain the tastemaking status that they may or may not deserve. Things are better than they were in the pre-music blog era, because DOUCHEBAGS WHO CARE 2 MUCH ABOUT MUSIC basically steered the direction of turn-of-the-century indie rock, since they were all in charge of college radio stations.

It’s just difficult to get behind this idea for RECORD STORE DAY. I would rather support a day where every band has a paypal account, and you can make a direct donation to the band members, or something like that. Times are changing, and industries change, so I’m never really into ’standing up for businesses that are perceived as authentic, so they don’t have to adapt to modern business practices.’ There are other people providing innovative services that help us find more music that we ‘love’ and ‘makes our lives’ more meaningful.’

If people are ‘just about the artists’, then they should tell more people about music services like hypemachine, last.fm, imeem, and even muxtapes (as bloggerly cliched as those have become so quickly). All of these websites also create a way better PERSONAL EXPERIENCE than walking out of a retail store and taking off your new CD’s excess packaging.

It’s not like music is getting worse now that records stores are closing… it’s just that most people still buy their crappy music from other places.

R u a capitalist?
Do u shop @ a local record store?
Do record stores even carry the albums that you want?
Should all of the INDPNDNT RCRD ST0R3S form an alliance and sell on CDNOW.com?
Remember when you could get 10 CDs for $1 by filling out that form in a magazine?
Do you regret buying so many CDs in your formative years?
Is the undervalued value of the iPod the way it made you think less about purchasing entire crappy CDs, and put more value into acquiring only songs that you like?
Will U go to a Record Store on Saturday?

Check out the hilarious Record Store Day Website
http://www.recordstoreday.com/

How many positive experiences have you had in record stores? Is it a Generation X thing? I feel like most of my experiences when it comes to buying music were in places like Blockbuster Music, Warehouse Music, Sam Goody, or some other chain that sold CDs for $18. I always found the franchises to be a better environment than the indie record stores, because you didn’t have to have some schmuck at the counter make a comment about your CD purchase (and if they didn’t comment, they’d give you a scoffing look that meant “I can’t believe they’re buying THAT album”).

Does it make sense for ‘online music magazines/blogs/websites’ to support RECORD STORE DAY? I feel like atleast 5% of the why I even spend time writing HIPSTER RUNOFF is to shut down independent record stores. After movies like “High Fidelity” and “Empire Records”, I think it’s just time to move forward from glorifying stores that sell mostly crappy CDs, and shut down most record stores. Do you think RECORD STORE DAY was organized by all of the major record labels as a last chance effort to ‘get people to buy CDs?’

Do u guys wanna go shop for some records, read some magazines, and search for authenticity?

I don’t really buy into the theory of ‘the people who care the most about music are the ones who shop at independent record stores.’ I’d say the people who care the most about music are the ass holes who spend too much time online, and find a way to get it for free. Independent Record Stores are usually pretty ‘hit or miss’ when it comes to selection. Sure, there are some in major metropolitan areas that are probably pretty well-stocked, but for ever 1 of those, there are at least 10 crappy record stores selling stuff that you might as well pick up off of the “Staff Selections” rack at BORDERS.

RCRD ST0RE supporters say that their clerk is able to give them [Recommendations] based on what they have purchased in the past. I really think that the Amazon Recommendations, or iTunes features like ‘people who purchased this also purchased…” is way more valuable than a scruffy dude telling you to ‘check out Sparta since you’re buying that At The Drive In CD.’

I think the worst part about record stores is that you actually buy complete albums. Usually, complete albums aren’t worth purchasing. There’s nothing like sorting through your CD collection from ages 9-19, and wondering what it all means. Why did you buy all of these mainstream alt-rock albums? You wish you could have all of that money back that you wasted on crappy CDs, pogs, basketball cards, and other stupid hobbies. The internet helps us become better consumers by providing us with important information before we make decisions.

In addition, most music is recommended by your friends, acquaintances, and especially douchebags who care about music too much. The internet has given a great opportunity for douchebags who care about music too much to be heard, and to gain the tastemaking status that they may or may not deserve. Things are better than they were in the pre-music blog era, because DOUCHEBAGS WHO CARE 2 MUCH ABOUT MUSIC basically steered the direction of turn-of-the-century indie rock, since they were all in charge of college radio stations.

It’s just difficult to get behind this idea for RECORD STORE DAY. I would rather support a day where every band has a paypal account, and you can make a direct donation to the band members, or something like that. Times are changing, and industries change, so I’m never really into ’standing up for businesses that are perceived as authentic, so they don’t have to adapt to modern business practices.’ There are other people providing innovative services that help us find more music that we ‘love’ and ‘makes our lives’ more meaningful.’

If people are ‘just about the artists’, then they should tell more people about music services like hypemachine, last.fm, imeem, and even muxtapes (as bloggerly cliched as those have become so quickly). All of these websites also create a way better PERSONAL EXPERIENCE than walking out of a retail store and taking off your new CD’s excess packaging.

It’s not like music is getting worse now that records stores are closing… it’s just that most people still buy their crappy music from other places.

R u a capitalist?
Do u shop @ a local record store?
Do record stores even carry the albums that you want?
Should all of the INDPNDNT RCRD ST0R3S form an alliance and sell on CDNOW.com?
Remember when you could get 10 CDs for $1 by filling out that form in a magazine?
Do you regret buying so many CDs in your formative years?
Is the undervalued value of the iPod the way it made you think less about purchasing entire crappy CDs, and put more value into acquiring only songs that you like?
Will U go to a Record Store on Saturday?

Check out the hilarious Record Store Day Website
http://www.recordstoreday.com/