I like stuff that’s funny cuz it’s true. Whenever I watch hipster-mockumentameme vids, I can’t help but LOL-out-loud, because I totes know all of the characters already, since they mirror real members of my alternative scene. It’s kinda weird how ‘vapid’ culture is, yall… h8 it/luv it/’get’ it. Just relieved that I am me living in our bad ass society.  I mean… it has it’s ups and downs…but I am generally happy with where we are.

Sorta miss the golden era of the Viral Vid Hipster movement. I decided to re-watch the Hipster Olympics, and reflect on the massive impact it had on ‘the scene.’ I believe the most powerful art is free-online art, because tons of ppl can see it and share it with all of their friends [via their facebook pages].

Seems like some new ‘hipster’ videos come out, and ‘exist under the radar’, but it makes me wonder just how viral they could have gone if they were made during The Golden Age.  They seem to each have their own unique take on things.

Sorta miss ‘Hipsters in Space.’ I hope that the youtube servers exist forever. One day, all blogs will die, and humans won’t be able to read text any more. As the youtube generation continues to mature without reading and writing skills, the only historical artifacts left will be vlogs, videos, and viral videos.

Technology is rlly something to awe at [via being awesome]. So many artists can make beautiful with a limited budget, beyond the Macbook their parents bought 4 them and the HD video camera that they waited tables 2 obtain. It’s great 2 be able to ‘reflect on culture’ so instantaneously at such a low cost. I feel like I am honestly living in the most special era of all time, like every war that was fought for freedom was just so that I could exist right now. I am thankful.

Are youtubes more powerful than real movies?
Is it still alt 2 ‘make fun of hipsters’?
What is the best web method 2 utilize 2 ‘make fun of hipsters’? Meme blog? Tumblr? Video? Vimeo? Tweet?
What is the ‘most authentic’ ‘making fun of hipsters’ video of all time?
WTF is a ‘hipster’?
Does n e 1 know if hipsters are ‘the dead end’ of ‘Western Civilization’?
What’s ‘next’ after ‘hipsters’, or will ‘hipsters’ exist 4evr? Will the spirit of ‘alt’ live on forever?
Should I start a blog, a youtube channel, or a vimeo channel?

As I have grown older, I have started to see ‘the larger picture’ about ‘the concertgoing experience.’ The truth is that concerts are ‘always the same’ but the only thing changing about the concert is U. You are growing older, moving from demographic-to-demographic. The way you feel about ‘life’ is constantly changing, and based upon the version of ‘loneliness’/'fulfillment’ that you feel, you will interpret any experience differently–concerts are an essential part of the modern human experience.

These are the general age demographics who ‘attend concerts’ and a synopsis of ‘their general conscious experience.’

Ages 12-17: The era of idealizing ‘the modern indie concert experience.’

You don’t really understand what ‘indie rock’/etc. usually is, and experiences like Warped Tour, Coachella, and Regional music festivals are ‘lumped into a category.’ You see music as something that brings people with similar interests together. You are going to graduate from high school soon, and after that, who knows what might happen? Maybe u’ll be able to go to famous clubs, see famous bands, meet internet-famous people, and live the idealized life that is somewhere between ‘Almost Famous’ and ‘Gossip Girl’ or some other tv show/movie.

This is just an era of ‘being naive’ and ‘not knowing the correct websites to view’ in order to stay relevant. You have a lot of important formative experiences, but generally every1 experiences the same thing at this age. How much money your parents make ultimately decides ‘how alt’ u will be.

Notable stereotypes in this demographic:

• teen bros wearing crombie but liking indie music,
• entry level alts in Am Appy,
• tween bros who only shop at name brand places and come out with t-shirts that have designs on them that theoretically ‘look cool’ but are obviously from Old Navy/Billabong/J.C. Penny’s ‘trying to be cool’ type of clothing line,
• groups of kids who seems scared to make decisions on their own and end up making group decisions where 10 kids get the same t-shirt and wear it to high school the next day to ‘prove that they went to a show’
• tweens with older siblings who are ‘authentic and chill and let them drink beer 1 time’
• tweens who will 1 day ‘be self-aware’ and reconnect with some1 about ‘that terrible band we both used to like!’

Ages 18-20: The ‘being old enough to get in’, but ‘not old enough to drink.’

This is usually the most ‘thrilling’ era of ‘being a bro who wants to see live music.’ This is the age at which various subplots ‘beyond the music’ can evolve, such as ‘getting into a 21+ show’, ‘getting drunk before the show’, ’sneaking in a flask of ______’, ‘meeting people from ur local college who like indie music too!’, and other experiences that you have theoretically ‘been waiting for your whole life. This is sort of when ‘meaningfulcore’ music appeals to you the most, because unlike in the previous era, u have the means to ‘truly appreciate’ what ‘life is all about.’

To some extent, ‘your whole life is still ahead of you’ and you have started to enjoy your context. You feel like your ‘personal connections’ with people are the reason that you are on this Earth, and you seriously feel like you have an unmatched group of friends who really ‘get’ it more than any other group in the world. You want to have the most amount of friends possible, and just share experiences in large groups.

You do not feel alone. This crowd of people. This independent music. This is you. You have arrived.  Back when the Arcade Fire ‘first came out’ 75% of ‘alternative music lovers’ somehow had the mindset of this demographic.

Notable Stereotypes in this demographic:

• Entry level alt girl covered in am appy
• Proud Bro in first Am Appy tshirt/hoodie
• Packs of bros/broads
• Mixed groups of people who ‘get into drama’ about dating/drugs/being straight-edge
• Bros who just moved to college and are lookin 4 new friends
• People with fashion choices that mix their mainstream past with their desire 2 be more authentic/alt
• People who accidentally like ’shitty generic indie rock’ bc they just want to identify with an aesthetic

Ages 21-23: The era of ‘having legal fun’ while still ‘feeling like your life is ahead of you.

This is a pretty useless era. It is usually dominated by mindsets from the previous two eras, except you are ‘having legal fun.’ Probably ‘the most costly era’ of them all, since you are ‘buying sooo many drinks’ and usually ‘have to buy your tickets early’ [via online ticketing website]. Some people ‘are in a relationship’ that is probably ‘too serious’ during this era, and concerts are a place for both them to ‘get insecure’ about all of the other attractive ppl around.

This might be the ‘prime’ of ‘being alt’ in terms of ‘ur last days of glory.’ Soon you will graduate from college, and you will ‘become a different person’ after you ‘enter the work force.’ You just want to enjoy this time, and ‘be sillie’ or ‘absurd’ and have as much fun as possible, before your parents ‘expect u to get a real job.’   This is sort of the mindset that fueled ‘the bloghouse/electro’ era.

Notable Stereotypes in this demographic:

• Couple who ‘are looking forward to breaking up after college’
• Bro who spends 50% of his income on weed, liberal arts major bro,
• entry level alt in Am Appy/headbands,
• girl ‘dressing alt’ for the first time,
• Person who is ‘new in town’ and decided on a personal brand makeover after not fitting in their previous context/life
• Girl who still acts like she is 17
• bro ‘trying acid’ for the first time after ‘weed and booze got boring’/not ‘eye-opening enough’
• bros ‘preying’ on girls who are between 17-21, and being some sort of ‘mentor’ about ‘the scene’ in exchange for sexual favors/attention until girl ‘piggybacks’ the bro and finds a more valuable member of ‘the scene’ who wants her sweet vagina more than the previous bro
• people who ‘twitter’ the whole show
• Ppl who ‘get too drunk’ at shows
• the bro who ‘grinds on tons of bitches.’

Ages 23.75- 25.5: Feeling ‘disenchanted’ about where ur life is, and finally realizing that you’re not 19 any more/the people you are watching on stage are living the life that you thought you would be living.

This is a post-college, post-being fully supported by your parents era. ‘Concerts’ are sad reminders of where your life is, and how you have theoretically been ‘the same simple person.’ You might be in a serious relationship, and you might ‘resent this person’ since they are the first direct representation of ’settling’/'becoming complacent’ with your life. You see people who are younger than you, and feel ‘incredibly old.’

This is probably the last era where you are most likely to ‘find a good mate’ but at the same time, there are still feelings like ‘u have a lot left to do with your life’ even though you probably ‘aren’t as young as you think’, at least in terms of ‘accomplishing your goals.’ Feel hopeful, but more of a ‘false hope.’

Concerts are ‘okay’ but you should probably be ‘burnt out’ on ‘going out’/’seeing kewl bands’/'finding new music’/etc pretty soon.

Notable Stereotypes in this demographic:

• Bros who are still trying to ‘make it’ as a band and go to a show to ’study’ the band
• people who ‘twitter’ the whole show
• Couples who are in what seems to be a fight
• Bros who ‘won free tickets’ since they have no job and waste time on the internet all day.
• AngstyBros
• Bros who are ‘raging against’ society/the machine

Ages 26.7-35: Admitting that you’re ‘an old bro’ and ‘going to the concerts to see a good live show’ and as a night out with your wife.

When you are this old, you can only go out to a concert if you ‘really, really, really like the band.’ The band is most likely only 14% relevant by this time, and you might actually ‘have the best time you’ve had in a while’ listening to this band that ‘used to mean everything to you.’ You will more than likely wear a slimming plaid shirt, or some other ‘comfy apparel’ that hides some of the weight you’ve put on.

Your alternative life is basically over, particularly if you are ’successful.’ You go to the concert and walk around meaningful parts of the city–life seems to have ‘passed u by’, but you feel okay when you see a ‘guy who is 35 and works at the door’ or like ‘oldbro who has some stupid altJob.’ Most of you feels ‘relieved’ but you also sort of question ‘why u r on this Earth’ and wish you didn’t drive such an affordable, untrendy car.

You might also be bald, and have a difficult decision to make about ’shaving your head’/'wearing a cap’/etc, but you realize that ‘balding’ is a natural process. It’s okay to be bald–it is out of your control, and young people who don’t ‘get’ that scientific fact are ‘idiots.’ It’s just part of growing old. One day you will die, but tonight, you will enjoy this concert with 2.5 beers, and grab on to your significant other’s love handles–bc 2nite they are actually full of love.

These people are the probably the most valuable bros to ‘good bands’ because they are the assholes who buy albums off iTunes/buy pre-sale tickets for shows. Not sure if this will ’stay the same’ when the current younger-generations ‘grow up’ after years of knowing how to ‘find leaks.’

Notable Stereotypes in this demographic:

• general cool dads in plaid,
• somewhat insecure prematurely balding bro
• people who are ‘alt for life’
• free spirited moms
• girls with huge thighs who wear ’summer dresses’ that go down to their ankles
• Dudes who ‘limit themselves’ to two beers
• Bros with hands on the hips of their girlfriend’s expanding waistline.

Ages 35+: You ’should probably just focus on your kids’

I think that the only time you should go to a concert when you are over 35 is if it is in some sort of seated auditorium, or if you have to chaperone your kids to a music festival/concert for his/her birthday party. Sort of like the modern version of ‘taking your kid to a baseball game.’ Ultimately, you do want your child to be cultured, but at this point, it seems like a circus/spectacle. You look back to when ‘things meant something’ and you wouldn’t look at things like ‘fuck–i paid $50 x 3 for my son, his friend, and me to get in here. Could have paid my utilities bill.’ You used to have a dream of learning the guitar/synth and starting a meaningful band that got tons of ‘press’/'internet buzz’, but now you are older, and the majority of your life is behind you. You are happy with the concerts you attended, the moments you shared with your friends, and don’t feel as resentful of the person who used to ‘have a meaningful experience’ at concerts.

Notable stereotypes in this demographic:

• Out of place mom rubbing sun screen on her embarrassed son’s face
• Dad who ’secretly drinks 10 beers’ while his son moves to the front of the show
• Dad cheating on wife, using blackberry to text mistress the entire time
• Dad with kids who have ‘a spunky personality’/'long hair’
• Mom with daughter who will ‘grow up 2 be the indie slut she never was’

WHICH DEMOGRAPHIC R U IN?

WHICH DEMOGRAPHIC R U IN?

WHICH DEMOGRAPHIC R U IN?

WHICH DEMOGRAPHIC R U IN?

DO U ‘DIE’ AFTER U TURN AGE __?

///////
Every time you go to a concert, you are surrounded by a group of people who have something in common with you–they paid $10-100 to see the same artist as you. They most likely made the same consumer decision to purchase the same album that you did. They had the same convos about ‘what their fave song was’ and even had ‘the same moment alone in the car where you felt happy while listening to this band’s album.’

Life is a battle against your insecurities. There are things you want to do with your life, and an image of yourself that you think you will eventually ‘be.’ Some days, you feel closer/further away from accomplishing this

Life is a choice–do you want to be an individual, or do you want to find a group of people who ‘understand u.’ Concerts are theoretically one of the best places to find people who ‘are living a similar life to you. Either you can be threatened by the 10-15% of people who look like you, or you can ‘find solace’ in knowing that there are people out there who are just like u.  

Which will u choose?

Activity Questions for this post:

• What do concerts mean 2 u?
• Why do u go to concerts?
• Do u feel like u are ‘just a stereotype’ when you go to concerts/shows and see people ‘dressed like u’?
• Is it more authentic to call a live musical experience a ‘concert’ or a ’show’?
• Should I commit suicide at a ’show’ as a ‘thinkpiece’?
• Is this post ‘fucking bullshit’ because it never mentioned ‘actual music/musicians’?
• Do u just ‘enjoy the music’ and ‘avoid all thoughts’ about ‘the people who surround u’?

I think it’s fair to say that NIKE will always be the best ‘lifestyle brand’ for both mainstreamers and alts. They have a dual identity. While the probably have well-developed research facilities to develop cutting edge products for the top athletes & the best ‘kids who play a sport and have parents who love them too much’, most of the alternative branding is done with ‘old products that aren’t incredibly comfortable, but people enjoy how they are perceived by others when they wear the product.’ AKA ‘The Convese All Star Theory’.

Sneakers/shoes/footwear are a HUGE representation of ‘who u r’, so I figured I should breakdown what popular shoes mean about U.

Good examples are:

The Samba - I wonder what would happen if people who owned Sambas were required to register for an indoor soccer league. Overall, a ‘humble yet alt’ look that I would compare to a modern take on the Converse All Stars.

Nike Air Force 1s - They are for both black and white people. For people who have advanced beyond having a desire for owning the shoes that belong to a popular athlete.

Generally, Air Force 1s are colourful, and these colors can be used by generic altbros to differentiate from ‘the pack.’ People think they are supposed to be interested in interesting colors on shoes.

Nike Dunks - Are these the same as AirForce1s? I can’t rlly tell.

New Balance 991s - A shoe made for mainstreamers/frat bros/girls who wear athletic shorts+a university t-shirt. These shoes are built for comfort. I wonder if they selected a comfy shoe on purpose, or if it was an arbitrary decision.

Reebok PUMPS - Worn by some one who is probably a VERY dedicated alt or a self-proclaimed ’sneaker freak’ who wants to stand out more than Nikes would allow him to. When it comes to ‘form’, I don’t see why any one would prefer a Reebok design over a Nike design. However, the guy who ‘is wearing pumps’ really wants your attention.

Vans - You might be an entry level ’scenester’ if you wear Vans.

Checkered Vans - You might be a future FGGT/GHEY/future-failed-alt who gets too involved with marijuana and being quirky


The awkward Nike shoe that looks like an indoor soccer shoe/Van – what kind of ass hole would wear this? Probably a failed cool dad.


Adidas Gazelles - If you want an Adidas indoor soccer shoe, you should buy a Samba. Gazelles are kind of like alt-Vans (that’s a bad thing).

Steve Madden Men’s Shoes - It’s probably ‘business casual day’ if u r wearing these shoes.

Keds - You are REALLY being an ass hole if you wear KEDS. You are probably a ‘kid who thinks he/she is smart even though you go to community college and only wear Earth tones/pastels and actually still have Wes Anderson posters up in your room.’


Doc Marten Sandals - Ur probably taking a bath in Abercrombie cologne and shaving your 14 year old pubes in preparation for your ‘first sexual experience’ if you wear these.

Asics - these are for people who are still trying to find themselves/are trying too hard to differentiate.

LA Lights - The type of person who wears these would also like to have a conversation about shows that were on Nickelodeon when you were a kid. ‘Remember Pete&Pete?’


Regular Converse -a classic look that often justifies itself/leaves much to be desired at the same time. It sort of says ‘I am a humble person’ but still lets people know that you are either 10-25% alt or 100% post-alt.

Quirky coloured converse - You were probably in a ska band in high school and are attached to your image as ‘the smart kid who was also artistic and also had a quirky side that his teachers absolutely loved!’

Interesting print Converse - The weekend shoes of mainstreamers.


Converse All Star Xtra High - If u wear these, u do not contribute anything positive to society. Your legs should be removed from the knees-down, and your legs should be used to keep kids in Africa warm.

Awkard Puma soccer/turf shoe - You should have bought some Sambas instead of being a weirdo.


Womens Reebok Freetyle Hi - I have yet to meet a girl who would actually wear this.

Why is Reebok trying to trick French people who like tecktonic into thinking their shoes make them dance better?

Yelle is more important to Reebok than Michael Jordan is to Nike.

Have u seen this Funny YELLE product placement commercial for Reebok?

On the subject of alt-celebrities promoting shoes…
I still can’t believe Converse hired the guy from the Strokes, the black guy from The Pharrell, and Santogold to write a song to promote Converse. This quirky video that forced music blogs to sound excited about an MP3 from multiple artists from different target audiences was one of the biggest hoaxes of the modern bloghouseosphere era.

The song is pretty funny. I feel like sneaker companies forget t
hat ‘normal people’ wear shoes. It’s not just people who ‘think their shoes make them look cool.’ This song is the type of song that ‘people who think that listening to certain new/buzzworthy artists makes them cool’ would listen to on their way to the mall.

I feel like music blogs have a bad reputation because up to this point because of this type of content. A lot of ‘d-bags who think the are supposed to find a collaboration like this interesting’ are the main proponents of mp3 blogs as a news/culture source. So while bloggers feel pressured to ‘blog about this new [HIGHLY BLOGGABLE] content’, the marketers/companies gain promotion but subtract from the authenticity of their message & the authenticity of the targeted blog as a tastemaking source. Advertising to ‘alts who are too cool for anything, but still kind of impressionable’ is difficult, and companies must hire better marketing teams in order to reach the new ALT MARKET, as opposed to advertising to the circa 2002 HIPSTER MARKET.

BUT SRSLY…
IS IT REALLY NECESSARY TO PROMOTE THE CONVERSE ALL STAR? If I were the CEO of Converse, I would stop making every non-AllStar shoe and cancel their initiatives with high-profile athletes like Dwayne Wade.

Converse should just start distributing through thrift stores and be happy with ‘letting people pay what they want’ for their shoes. It worked for Radiohead’s “In Rainbows” and I think this product is similar.

Overall, I think Nike is the powerhouse with all of the history to make the best marketing campaigns. They realize that alts buy their products, but they don’t dedicate that much direct marketing towards them. They let ’sneaker designing boutiques’ and popular athletic figures who every1 liked as a kid to keep the brand’s presence strong with the alts.

This commercial appeals to both mainstreamers and alts with powerful imagery/iconography that we can all associate with. In addition, it utilizes that anthem by the Killers about having soul but not being a soldier (this song theoretically appeals to every1/sounds like the kind of song that mainstreamers-who-are-unaware-of-new-bands will go out and buy, then have conversations about ‘hearing this awesome song in a Nike commecial and the CD is actually really amazing.’)

[HIGHLY RECCD ENDING WITH A SPRINTER WITH NO LEGS]

I don’t think Nike’s alternative advertising is very heavy-handed. They keep their mainstream markets as a top priority as opposed to trying to ‘take over the alts.’ For example, this Nike Soccer commercial was directed by Guy Richie, who is theoretically an indie director (who banged Madonna), so every one can feel comfortable liking it.

N e ways…What kind of shoes do you wear?
Which lifestyle brand do u trust?
Which business is the best?
What shoes will be big in 2k9?
Do u feel like u r way 2 valued as a ‘hipster’ consumer by d-bags who have brainstorming sessions where they try to identify ‘what makes a hipster’?
What is a ‘hipster’?
What is an ‘alt’?
What is a ’scenester’?
Should I buy shoes only based on comfort?
Should I buy shoes that are made by lil AZN kids/women who are being underpaid?
Does being a ‘responsible consumer’ make the world a better place?
Remember hippie kids who ‘didn’t wear shoes’?