HIPSTER RUNOFF

This post is a 'recap' of some of the most bloggable music videos of the past several blog months.

Video: Grizzly Bear - While You Wait for the Others

Analysis: I really feel like Grizzly Bear 'dropped the ball' on this video. I didn't really watch it, even though it might be 'good.' Since Grizzly Bear 'charted' at #6, I feel like they need to do more gimmicks that will help them 'crossover' even more. I believe that the best strategy with this song, would have been to do a 'very generic' video where they look like a 'band who is trying to look kewl', sort of like what the Kings of Leon did to 'make the jump.' Feel like they should try to brand themselves as a 'kewl looking buzz band' to more mainstream audiences by having a lame video where they are on some rooftop at night being filmed from a helichopper. There could also be some sort of 'keut girl' in their video, sort of like some1 like 'Jessica Alba/Courtney Cox b4 she got famous.' Conceptual videos that represents ur song are 'kewl' if ur a buzzband doing ur first debut on pitchfork.tv, but if u wanna 'win a VMA', ur gonna have to do something a lot gheyer/more honky for mainstream fans.

Video: Fever Ray - Seven

Analysis: I was informed by an industry insider that this is a 'sideproject by the broad from THE KNIFE.' You might remember the Knife from the pre-bloghouse indielectronic-ish movement. This means that Fever Ray has a bunch of electronic xylophone sounds in her music. It is apparently supposed to be a 'goth project.' I hope that she ends up on the Twilight soundtrack to reach 'consumer goths', sometimes known as 'vampires.' Not sure if I am supposed to 'fear death' in this video, or 'get turned on by cougar milf porn.'

Video: The Phenomenal Handclap Band - 15 to 20

Analysis: I mainly wanted to blog about this song. It sort of reminds me of the bloghouse era. Like a song that is 'upbeat' and would have received a ton of attention based on catchiness/chorus structure/girl singing with attitude. Whatever happened to 'the Go! Team'? Remember they had that one catchy song? Wonder if this song would be 'bigger' if they sold it to CSS. Sad that there are less accepting ears for songs like this. Miss u 2k5-2k7.

Video: Acid Girls - The Numbers Song

Analysis: This video is a 'period piece' about doing 'a shit load of blow' during the BlogHouse Era.

Video: Tokio Hotel - Automatic

Analysis: A kewl video by the bad ass German tween crossover hit band Tokio Hotel. Seems like they are really 'growing into' more than just a foreign teen sensation, like they have finally started to learn 'the English Language' and are trying to explain emotions that all humans can relate to. There are some weird shots in this video of robots 'eyeball fucking' one another. The lead singer still seems like an anime bro. Might build a time machine and move to Germany and try to get into this band.

Video: Health - Die Slow

Analysis: Health is indie's only 'hardXcore' band with 'credibility/coverability.' I remember when I was a bloghouse blog, searching for remixes to post every day, Health was sort of like something to blog about to 'make ur blog seem different, like u appreciated all music.' It seems like one day I might go to a Health concert. From what I can tell, they seem 'serious' about music, like they know what they are doing. I think that this video is about killing women. This video seems artsy. I want to meet some1 who says 'Health is my favourite band', because then I feel like I would better understand Health. I think this video is about date rape/murder since all of the women end up getting 'chopped the fuck up.'

Video: Dan Deacon - Paddling Ghost

Analysis: Dan Deacon has a zany lil brand, which is why he turned to the 'puppet aesthetic.' Basically, most of Dan Deacons fans 'live in a fucking dream world' and would actually enjoy this 'puppet bullshit.' It seems like you really have to identify with a brand in order to accept the puppetification of a band, otherwise it just seems to bring out an intensified version of your feelings for the band. Wonder if Dan Deacon dolls would 'sell well' or if buildabear would be a more chill place to buy a gift for a kid.

Have u seen any kewl music videos lately?

As HRO continues into it's post-Tolerant era, I can't help but wonder if I need to 'give up some of my branding/marketing strategies' that revolve around post-intolerance. For example, I use the terms 'FGGT' and 'GHEY' a lot.

This meme has been just about everywhere, but it rlly did stop & make me think... 'is there a better way 2 live?'

Should I stop using the term "GHEY"?

Will this be the last time I use the term 'FGGT'?

Will this be the last time that I give relevant commentary on 'tweenage gheys' deciding to be GHEY these days for attention (particularly tween lezbos who dress in black together)?

h8 that kidz have s0 much freedom these days. Wish I had the opportunity to 'experiment' with alternative lifestyles and deviant subcultures within a controlled environment when I was a pre-entry-level-alt.

[Image by thecobrasnake]

Should I be Justicing for Halloween, or should I be the AZN in the background who is depressed about the economy?

Or should I find some1 to be an Alternative Interracial Couple? [AltBro+AZN edition]

[Photo by Red Slurpeee]

PPL keep telling me that I need 2 b 'the zany guy from Empire of the Sun.' The trouble with that is that I don't even know which 1 is the zany 1 !!!!

Or should I go as "FGGT" from the movie Tokio Hotel: Dunston Checks In?

Halloween is basically 5 blog minutes away...
GIVE ME SOME GOOD IDEAS. (Doesn't help that I did blow off my white MacBook lappy earlier.)

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Transitioning Your Tween Personal Brand into your ...":

post more fggts!

Okay. Srry. Here's some ffggtts...

SRSLY THO... WHAT PLANET ARE THEY FROM??!
Did they all come out of the same synthetic womb?
How did they come up with so many different personal brands???!

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Don't u h8 it when u can't classify some1? h8 confusing Personal Brands :-(

[img by EastFashion]
Is this bro
a) from the future
b) an electro war soldier
c) just plain EuroTrash
d) an athlete in an Xtreme Sports league
e) an extra in the film '2Fast, 2 Furious: XXX'
f) a scuba diver who rides underwater motorcycles
g) a participant in a race around the world where you can only use stuff that u can keep in your cargo pants
h) a backup dancer for Linkin Park
i) 'just a fggt'
j) Choose.Your.Own.Response

Dressing in Miscellaneous Athletic Clothes: Big in 1.9k.88?

[Photo by TheStreetWalker]
Do yall remember when u were in elementary school? (According to my web stats 43% of HRO readers are between 5th grade - 10th grade). What was ur fave subject in school? The hot alty above was totally into P.E.--that's why she is in unbranded athletic apparel. She's ready to do chinups, or play dodgeball, or do 100 situps, or run for 10 minutes, or any other challenging aspect of the Physical Education Curriculum.

But srsly, which kid were u? All the 'smart kidz' were rlly into math and science. All of the eventual-fggts l00ved art class (I had rlly amazing gay-dar when I was a kid). All of the borderline retarded kids only liked recess/'playground timey'. Or were u the kid who was into xtreme sports? Or were u the kid who 'brought his acoustic guitar 2 school'? Or did u bring ur DiscMan/Zune for all of the kids to listen to your alt-raprock?

Or were u a kid who had the enigmatic facial expression of some1 with a SNCKRS bar permanently shoved up his ass hole?

Or were u a tween fashion model who did shows at your local mall? Did u have a parent who combed your hair, dressed u in 'trendy lil kidz clothes', and made you have 'a girlfriend' when you are in 3rd grade even though you were in 3rd grade?

If 'dressing like ur in P.E.' is the next big trend, should I rush to my local sporting goods store to buy every colour of Russell Athletic shorts just like I bought every color of every American Appy item?

Sometimes I don't understand things. I don't understand products, or why people buy them. I don't understand bands, and why tweens listen to them. I don't understand stores where 80% of the products being sold are black, and 50% of the products being sold are band t-shirts. I don't understand humans sometimes. I don't understand bad parenting. I don't understand weirdo pop 'alternative' rock that I can only imagine neglected scene kids with Tegan and Sara haircuts in California listening to.

When I don't understand something, I just label it as 'GHEY'. I am a narrow minded human being.
When I rlly don't understand something, I just think it's rlly FGGT.

But SRSLY...where did they find these kids, and where
I'm not sure which member of TOKIO HOTEL looks the funniest. While anime lead singer is the obvious choice, and post-Incubus dredlock guy is the funnie pick, I might go with the guy on the right who looks like he is an 8th grader with low self-esteem who is trying to lose weight to ask a girl to go to a dance with him.

BUT SRSLY x 2, where did this band come from?

Is this song the next "D.A.N.C.E."? Or is it the next "With Arms Wide Open" by Creed?
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfMnM5Y2rw8&hl=en&fs=1]

What else is FGGT?
What does FGGT mean to u?