Trends | Hipster Runoff


New alt trend: Dipping 80% ur jeans into a huge tub of paint

Photo by Easy Fashion Paris

I recently saw this alt QT wearing a really interesting pair of jeans. At this point, there isn't really much left to do with jeans. They've been baggy, skinny, paintery, wideleggy, bootleggy, and even JNCO-wave. It seems like the era of finding a 'classy way' to customize your jeans is upon us. While rich women opt to 'bejewel'/'bling' some designs on the butt pockets of their jeans, alternative ppl need a way to 'keep it authentic' without breaking the bank.

I think that 'dipping ur jeans into a huge tub of paint' seems like an authentic way 2 individualize ur jeans.

I went to talk to Steve, my personal paint mixer who works at Home Depot. He's a super good guy, and is actually thinking about transferring to the Lowe's that opened up towards the new outer-edge of suburbia.

He said this project was TOTALLY DO-ABLE, and all I had to do was pick my own colour [via swatch samples]

I went ahead and took a pair or my Old Navy Painter's jeans, just to sort of exist as a metaphor for the dying medium of 'painting' as artists just try to 'go viral' with modern media.

Honestly, u can dip anything in paint. Feels really liberating to be on the 'bleeding edge' of this new trend.

I remember when 'faded jeans' used 2 be branded as 'alt'/'lamestreamer edgy.' U can only wonder if manufacturers are going 2 take this trend to the next level.

Would yall rather wear painted jeans or painter's jeans?
Will this be a relevant alt trend?
Do yall ever 'paint kewl designs on ur jeans'?
What makes 'cool jeans'?
Do u have 'faded', 'wide legged', 'skinny', or cargo-wave jeans?
Are painter's jeans the 'Helvetica' of jeans? [via 'perfect']
Is this dipped jeans girl 'totally keut'?
Should I buy some fondue fountains and have a paint dipping partie?

Is the Sleeve Scarf the next big alt fashion trend? R u gonna buy a slarf?

Memes via Regretsy

I am always looking for progressive items of clothing that take design + fashion + functional seasonal protection to the next level. It seems like the 'slarf' aka the 'sleeve scarf' might be the next big relevant alt fashion accessory. It's always kinda weird how the coldest places on ur body are your arm and ur neck, so the sleeve scarf gives u the opportunity 2 keep both of those warm without compromising ur high level personal brand.

Sorta thought about vibing out to an NBA style shooting sleeve, just to keep my arm warm. [via Allen Iverson]

Sorta feel like it is 'alt' to wear a scarf, even when it is too warm just so people know that you are totally alt and 'fashionable' despite the weather.

I feel rlly happy that Etsy exists to give low level alt viral products an opportunity 2 thrive + be sucessful. However, Etsy designers have to realize that there is more 2 'being an online merchant' than 'going moderately viral' because of ur progressive product. It should be their goal to go 'mainstream viral', sorta like the snuggie, designing the perfect product that taps into the Middle American zeitgeist...

Only time will tell if the slarf will 'catch on' and become a relevant alt/mainstream fashion trend, but it is great to live in a progressive world where the best products, the top fashions, and the most creative, innovative, inspiring people will be featured for making quality work.

Does the slarf bro look chill?
Do u want to buy a slarf?
Is it gonna be too hot to wear a slarf to Coachella?
Should I learn how 2 crochet and start an Etsy Store with quirky products + accessories?
Would u rather wear a slarf or just a 'shooting sleeve'?

Is Etsy just where 'design majors go 2 die'?
What is the 'viral-est product of all time'?

New Alt Trend: Putting a watch on ur shoes. Do ur feet need 2 know what time it is?

Photos by thefacehunter

My feet are the contraptions
that take me places
Sure there are cars, trains, subways, airplanes, boats
segways, hovercrafts, spaceships, teleportation terminals

But my feet are attached to me
and will be a part of me
until I get diabetes
and they will be amputated

My feet need 2 know what time it is
My feet need 2 know when to take me
to places that I need 2 go

Many people put their watch on their wrists
but I need a watch somewhere else
Looking down at my shoes
because I am nervous and humble
It's time
It's time 2 be me

elevating my personal brand
with watches on my shoes
h8 u shoelaces
could never tie u anyways

This is a new trend.
This is a new me
It is time 2 know where 2 go
It is time 2 let my feet
be in touch
with 'time'
a construct of society
but also something natural
Do u realize
we're floating in space
on a rock that is spinning
around a ball of fire
Even though we have years, months, days, hours, minutes, seconds
We will never really know
what time is time

My timeliness is my move

It's time to move forward
in2 the future

R u gonna put a watch / clock on ur shoes?

Should I put an indiglo on my shoes, or will I look 'poor'?

the places yall will go...
via Doctor SeussBro

Is this trend 'gonna take over' the shoe industry?
Do yall know how to tell time on an analog clock, or do u rely on digital clocks?
Do u use a watch or do u just check the time on your smart phone / cell phone /iPad?

Do u think girls who buzz off sections of their hair are sexie?

Photo by HelLooks

Have yall ever seen girls who have regular girl hair, but then they use men's clippers to shave off part of their hair? It seems weird to me, like they are trying to break free from some sort of societal norm. Women are supposed to have long, beautiful, healthy hair, so any time a woman has short hair, there is a 'backlash' agains them, since they are 'trying to be a man.'

Do u think progressive sectional buzz cutting of women's hair is sexy / authentic?
Feel like this trend is for a type of altbaguette who are more than just rich girls pretending to be alt / tragic.

Should I buy my GF a set of hair clippers for her birthday to 'send a strong message' that she needs to step up her game and buzz off some of her hair?

Seems like u can buzz any section of your hair, and it will make you 40-60% more interesting

Photo by the Sartorialist

Does n e 1 know if Rihanna is alt for buzzing off part of her hair, or is it less authentic when a black girl buzzes off their hair since their hair is 'less manageable' than the soft hair of a white woman?

Should I buzz off the majority of my GF's hair against her will?
alice glass haircut Pictures, Images and Photos

Should I just give her a sensible fade / wedge haircut with hair clippers?

What is the most authentic hair style for a woman? Are bangs still sexy, or did Zooey Deschanel 'kill' that trend?

Is it time for women to start buzzing of sections of their hair?
Should all women be required to shave their pubic hair?
If a girl shaves off part of her hair, do u think she is probably a dyke?
Will women ever become as powerful as men?
if Hillary Clinton had a buzz cut, would she have won the President of the World Vote?
Are women with short hair 'intimidating', or does it make u want to tell them to 'grow their hair out, stop wearing pants, and get in the kitchen'?

Does n e 1 know what kind of animal this is? Might get 1 embedded in my jacket.

Photo by Stil in Berlin

Hey yall. Just looking at kewl new trends. I just saw this little critter that is chilling on a bro's jacket, but it also might be integrated as a scarf. I feel like I could use a little creature who is an extension of me. A lot of people buy dogs, cats, fish, and other mainstream house pets, but I need something that is 'high fashion' not just some mutt that I have a personal connection to. Always searching for new and exciting ways to differentiate my personal brand, taking it to the next level.

Maybe I should get one of these mysterious creatures and sew him on to my Am Appy hoodie. Feel like that might differentiate me from 'every other tween wearing an Am Appy hoodie.'

Does n e 1 know what kind of animal this is? Rlly need to buy one.
a) fox
b) tiger
c) lemur
d) sugar glider
e) wombat
f) muskrat
g) rat
f) wildabeast
g) ferret
h) golden retriever
i) kitten
j) ice panda
k) an animal collective
l) mini-deer
m) Tasmanian Devil
n) armadillo
o) komodo dragon
p) manatee
q) beluga whale
r) Brooklyn sea otter
s) aardvark
t) Choose.Your.Own.Response

Really want to jump on the 'animal fur' trend while there is a backlash against it.

Does n e 1 know how I can create one of these critter accessories? Do I just go to PETCO and purchase a pet to hollow out?

Is it 'mean' to get a real animal and murder it/ hollow it out?
do animals really have rights, or is there no difference between the meat industry and the exotic fur industry?
Is there really such thing as animal cruelty?

R u allowed to pretend that your critter is a puppet, and have it talk to people about relevant issues?
Have u ever worn 'fur'?
Have u ever killed an animal?
R u good at zoology: the study of going on zoo field trips when ur a kid?

Are soccer shin guards the new big trendy trend in alt fashion?

Photo by Yvan Rodic

I was reading relevant fashion blogs, and I couldn't help but notice an exciting new trend all around the world. So many people around the world are starting 2 wear shin guards, protective devices over their shins. Maybe it means we r at war, and we need 2 be protected, but maybe it is a tribute 2 the past.

Maybe we are trying to reconnect with our youth. I have read that soccer is the #1 youth sport in America. So many kids on so many fields all across the world, playing the 'beautiful game.' Youth sports are important in facilitating a 'normalized' American childhood.

Guess maybe we just want to get back to our 'field of dreams', running around in our bright uniform, eating oranges at halftime, running under a tunnel of arms created by our parents, getting to eat a snack after the game. All of these meaningful moments culminate with 'going out for a pizza party at the end of the season.'

Felt relieved that my parents weren't poor, and could always bring a 'sweet ass snack' for the team after the soccer game. Felt bad for poor kids whose parents didn't 'man up' and drop some dollars on a premium snack.

The quality of snack ur parents brought on your assigned day was generally indicative of their parenting philosophy, and how far u would get in life.

Not sure if I would be down with gogurt as a snack. Seems sorta gimmicky and 'half assed.'

Just want to go back in time, b4 my parents were divorced. Back when my dad still thought it was 'worth it' 2 stay with our family since we were young. Back we he was an 'assistant coach' 4 my soccer team.

Want to jam an orange wedge in my mouth, pretend it is a mouth guard, hope it protects me as I grow up and encounter new challenges in our world.

Shin guards, here 2 protect me. Here 2 take my brand to the next level.

So many different styles. just want to find some that match my personal brand. Hope Am Appy starts to manufacture them soon.

Maybe I will make my own conceptual shin guards, made from the bark of a sacred tree. WWACD (what would AnCo do?) // WWFFD (what would fleet foxes do?)

Sorta worried that the shin guard trend might be manufactured viral marketing for the upcoming World Cup in South Africa, sorta like Die Antwoord.

I miss the green grass
I miss the competition
I miss bonding with other kids, b4 I felt 'different' than all of them
I miss the bond between coach and player, father and son
I miss my 'soccer mom.'

Soccer Mom. She could do anything. Raise 2-4 kids with minimal emotional or physical support from our father. Get us to school, keep our grades up, and keep us 'enriched' with youth sports and miscellaneous community educational activities. I will not become you, mom. Not only because I sorta h8 what u represent, but also bc I am not strong enough 2 do what u did.

This trend is 4 u, mom and dad. I know u think I have grown up, and I just wear things arbitrarily in order to 'look cool.' Not this time. This means something to me. These shin guards r 4 u.

Will u start wearing shin guards?
Will shin guards be the next authentic alt trend?
Did u play youth sports?
Did ur parents prevent u from playing youth sports when they didn't have enough time?
Who will win the World Cup?
Is 'going out 4 a pizza party' as a kid one of the formative 'bro chill session experiences' in ur life?

Were the Ninja Turtles a marketing tool for the pizza industry?

Are Foil Balloon Purses 'the next big thing'? Seems like a 'must have' item for the next year.

Photos via daylife// meme via trenddelacreme

All humans have belongings, and in order to transport our belongings, we must have some sort of compartment to carry these personal items with us. We must create portable space that is both fashionable and functional. This is why men and women carry 'purses', also known as bags-o-stuff. There is apparently a market for 'high end' purses, but many regular humans 'create their own purses.'

It seems like this new trend of FOIL BALLOON PURSES might take over all other D.I.Y.-themed purses in the next 1-3 years.  I hope that this will 'officially kill off' girls who buy/make purses that look like they were hand-crafted in 'the Third World.'

I have always been kinda baffled by foil balloons. They have sorta been branded as 'a shitty complement' to cheap flowers. Like u stopped at a grocery store, bought some flowers and a foil balloon, then went to give a gift to some1 you don't really love and doesn't understand why a foil balloon would be 'hella insulting.' Like a grandmother, a kid under the age of 10, or possibly a tweenage girlfriend who 'carried around her foil balloon proudly on Valentine's Day.'

Honestly would only buy a foil balloon for a 'baby'

a tween who I wanted to 'feel up' at the mall

or possibly a relative who was about to die.

I am truly amazed by the foil balloon's transition into this year's hottest fashion item.

There are just so many possibilities to create something beautiful with foil balloons. I really feel like I can take my brand 2 the next level with a 'Dora the Explorer' foil balloon purse.

Should I make a purse for my next 'GNO' [via girls nite out]?

Really need 2 be an 'early adopter' to this trend. Worried that mainstreamers will catch on to this within 2 months, kinda like how they 'stole shutter shades'/wayfarers/every good band.

I am excited about making my own foil balloon purse this weekend. I am not sure which balloon I should buy. I am not sure which foil balloon will be 'me' enough. I might actually start a 'foil balloon purse conversion' business in order to capitalize on this new trend.

I think that I will be very 'now'/'culturally relevant' if I make a balloon out of Balloon Boy's balloon. Really need to check ebay to see if I can buy a little bit of the original foil balloon print. Sounds like a challenge straight out of 'The Runway Project' television show.

We must realize that we are living in a post-balloonboy world. It's kinda weird how violated we feel after a lil family from Colorado violated our trust. For 3 hours, we thought we were watching a lil boy abt to die, but then we figured out his parents had jammed him in a box in the attic.

Creating a foil-balloon purse will mean that you are willing to let the world know that you are a victim. You are not afraid to display your pain and use fashion as an effective way to comment on the modern human condition. You will create a foil balloon purse. You will give your world a window to your pain. Your personal brand will be both 'fashionable' and 'vulnerable.'  You will be in touch with humanity.

Will u create a foil balloon purse ASAP?
How long until we see 'relevant partie pix' with foil balloon purses?
Will foil balloon purses be the next shuttershades/rcrd hats/child predator glasses?
Are foil balloons/FBPurses 'fucking stupid'?
Do u think that they will 'hold up'?
R u going to throw down an 'arts and crafts' session this weekend?
R u 'pissed' at balloon boy? Do u h8 'the media'?

Seems like this photo was taken at some sort of 'cultural arts festival' where they were creating a series of foil balloon purses.

Please feel free to send your foil balloon purse pix to Carleser [at] (no uggos plz)

Feeling so 'violated' in the post-balloonboy world. Not sure who 2 trust any more. Not sure what's 'real' and what is 'bullshit.' Alone.

Teens are s000 impressionable

It's kinda weird how trends manage to 'catch on' as quickly as they do. All it really takes is some1 famous 'doing something' that 'sets them apart from the crowd', and the next thing u know, so many teens and tweens are copying the trend.

Take for example the Aretha Franklin big bow Obama Inauguration Hat meme.

It was actually more important than the actual ceremony, and probably more revolutionary than Obama's actual election. She really stole the spotlight from what was supposed to be Obammy's weekend. According 2 the most important bloggers and zany-news-generators, Aretha was the biggest story of the inauggy partie.

The next day, teens across America were looking 4 a way 2 be different. The path towards individuality had been laid out b4 them [via putting a big bow on shit].

Photo by Lookbook

Need 2 think about how I can convert my v-neck collection into 'something that makes me look modern.' Might put big bows on my clothing/Macbooks. Maybe just a Crystal Castles logo. Not sure if I actually 'believe' the bro in the picture, and think he might be some sort of performance piece, sort of like 'The Tween Version of Joaquin Phoenix.'

Kinda wish I could invent a fashion that 'went viral', kinda like shuttershades, or maybe even slanties, or maybe even the classic 'slept over at my bf shirt', or maybe even 'being a Jonas Bro'/Creating.Your.Own.Jousteece.Jacket.

Do yall know any trends that I need 2 b on the lookout 4?
Have yall ever 'copied a famous celebrity' 2 seem more like an individual?

Are Palestinian Scarves Still Authentically Alt?

Was doing some online shopping, and I had a musing 'worth blogging about.'

I remember when Palestinian scarves were 'all the rage' back in the electro era of the alt world. Altbros and altbroads would wear them all the time. Went perfectly with a pair of sunglasses I read on a wikipedia page that these scarves are called "kaffiyehs" and that they are a militant fashion. They apparently are anti-Russian and anti-Israeli.

I think in recent months, it has become 'cool' to support Israel and altJews, so I'm not sure if it is still a 'kewl thing' 2 wear, even though rappers started 2 wear them so I'm not sure if I can say that black people h8 the jews.

I remember when shuttershades died, and we thought the world was gonna end. Kinda sux that all products have a 'useful life.' Wish we could all be 'useful' forever, but I guess that's probs not realistic, especially in terms of 'women.'

Kinda h8 when trends go from being 'buzzworthy' to 'being worn by inauthentic entry levelers.' Just feel like my personal brand is getting stale, and I need a NEW AESTHETIC to implement asap that has nvr been done b4.

Miss u Scarf Coverage

Kinda wish I could invent the next 't-shirt' -- something that would stay around 4ever just cuz it's so functional and EZ... As a design school student, I can't help but ask the question--is there something better out there than a t-shirt that would meet our wardrobe needs?

Am I less authentic and too mainstream if I find a whimsical product like the 'snuggie' to be 'funnie' and try to construct an 'inside joke' about it with a group of my friends even though lots of groups of friends have an identical inside joke?

Just want a new product where design+meme+branding+viral marketing+progressivefunctionality meet to create a super product. Kinda like 'the iPod Shuffler.'

Manty Hose

(is this the most beautiful alternative male ever posted on HRO?)

[via Stil in Berlin]
When I grow up into an authentic alt,
I want to be a beautiful man.
I want to be a beautiful man in manty hose.
I want to be a beautiful man in manty hose standing at the base of the Eiffel Tower.
I want to be a beautiful man in manty hose standing at the base of the Eiffel Tower being street fashion blogged about.

For the longest time, we have been trying to find out 'what's next' after skinny jeans. Will it be Oops I crapped My Pants pants? Or stepdad/standup comedian jeans? Or leggings? Or ginger peens?

There are just s000 many trends. Kinda wish I had multiple versions of 'me' to experiment a little bit more. Just want 2 stay modern, yall. So many gimmicks have emerged that I don't even know 'what's real' any more. Sort of just wish our government would create an international uniform. It could be colour coded, and we could bail out American Apparel/utilize them as the sole maker of global uniforms. America would be white, China would be red, Asia would be 'yellow', Africa would be black, South of America would be brown, and other generalizations like that.

h8 life. h8 our world. wish I didn't care abt material things.


I wonder if in the future, all 'black people' will look like this bro. Not sure if I should 'get my eyes removed' yet, or what type of optical lens replacement to look into.

Worried that he's turning into a contorted alt, yall! Is it authentic to 'take iron supplements' or should u just let ur body rot away [via lack of protein {via vegan diet}]?

What brassieres will look like in 2k10

[Photo by Last Nights Party]
2k10 will be a turning point for women. They will no longer be confined by fashion/design constructs, and they will redefine every article of clothing in order to create a more authentic method of expressing who they are [via the clothes that they wear]. Things will begin to get more conceptual, and advertisers will move to advertise on beautiful humans after the blog-ad market dries up/internet is rationed by Barry Obama.

If there is one thing our country needs now, it is a bail out of the following economies

  • the nip stickies economy
  • the 'chunks of pink/purple/blue in my hair' economy
  • the free-spirited piercing economy
  • the electro economy
  • the banger economy
  • the conceptualcore economy
  • the meaningfulcore economy
  • the fund for transitioning entry levelers to mildly authentic bros
  • the bro economy.
  • The meme economy

Hopefully we make it to 2k10 without a country 'getting zany' and dropping a nuculeaure bomb on 'us.' I am looking forward to more keut women in progressive outfits that do a better job of 'showing the world what God gave them.

I am excited about the future.
I am excited about the future of fashion/design/women.

The Search for the Most Authentic Scarf

Yall. Isn't it kinda weird how scarves blur the line between 'functional' and 'completely unnecessary' depending on the weather? h8 people who 'wear scarves when it is 65 degrees outside.'

Men with scarves = kinda like entry level altbags, or maybe like 'people who shopped at the GAP for too long.' Girls with scarves seem like they are 'trying 2 hard 2 be kutesy', but that might be bc of the limited range of scarves. Wearing a scarf does not give u an Instant-Brand like a lot of other possibly-useless accessories. S0 many types of scarves.

h8 u Palestinian scarves. trying 2 forget abt 2k8, yall.

[via lookbook]

h8 plain bitches/mainstreamers in scarves

h8 'zany scarves'

Don't mind altbaguettes in progressive scarves that challenge existing design concepts

Do yall know if scarves that look like the blanket/quilt that ur mom has on the couch for people whose legs get cold is going 2 be big in 2k9?

[photo by GlamCanyon]
What's next after the scarf? Trying 2 identify the core competencies of a scarf, and how we can make scarf technology a lil bit more obsolete? Are scarves essential+necessary, or are they kinda like the drinking straw?

Hopefuly American Apparel puts rain ponchos into production soon. Probs would wear one even when it's not raining to make sure that my personal brand was differentiated from every1.

So this is the new year // and I (do/don't) feel n e different, yall!

Has n e 1 ever knitted a meaningful scarf 4 u as a gift? Do u think they made it as a labor of love, or are scarves just 'the easiest thing 4 entry levelers to knit'?


As yall know, 70% of the world's most innovative/zany trends from from the Land of AZNS (Asia). Trends travel across the land bridge to California and Eastern Europe, eventually making their way to Middle America/mainstreamerdom within 3 years. Just wanted 2 take a look at what AZNs have been wearing & predict which trends will reach the Mexicalt population in 5 years.

Trend 1: Protect Urself From Dirty Air

As yall know, there is a lot of noise and air pollution in our world. AZNs have a lifespan that is 200% longer than white & black ppl's natural life--they take better care of themselves than we do [via only eating fish + noodles + rice]. The AZNs are beginning to mix fashion with health safety by wearing these protective masks. They also banned fastfood in Japan after seeing the hit mockumentary Super Size Me: Fast Food Nation.

Trend 2: Bangs Which Impair ur vision [via bowl cut]/critters around ur neck

I think that bangs which impair ur vision might be big in 2k9. Bangs are theoretically functional. They 'keep hair out of ur eyes' and help to 'frame ur face.' I think taking a little bit of that functionality away might help bangs stay around forever. AZNs 'get' where engineering, design, and personal branding come 2gether as one. In addition, AZNs will no longer use gigapets/Tamagachis in 2k9. They will have 'real' pets that they can wear. These real pets will be controllable through iPod Nanos.

Trend 3: AZNs who look like this //Where the Wild Things Are

I am not sure if I will still be attracted to women if they morph into neon creatures from the hit children's book 'Where the Wild Things Are.' Not sure if I support these AZNs and their zany personal brands. h8 neon azn beast glam rockers.

[Photos by StyleSightings]

But srsly yall... after we rebuilt Japan post-nuclear bomb WWII, should we have given it a new name?
Something like 'California Pt 2' or 'Broville' or 'Gizmodo' or 'TechCrunchville' or 'The Land of Gigapets' or 'Trend City USA'?

The Ugly Christmas Sweater: The Official Alt Clothing Item of Winter 2k9?

I know we're all trying to look our best throughout the entire year--ur personal brand is important. We're trying to differentiate from the mainstream pack. Winter is a time where we see the alternative population utilize the same items every year. Pea Coats, hoodies, cardigans, other alt stuff that provides warmth and covers your sleeves without compromising your personal brand. While Cosby sweaters are kinda popular, I think we're gonna see more UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATERS than usual this year.

Does n e 1 know if 'we' stole the concept of the ugly Christmas sweater from the mainstreamers? Don't they have parties that they invite all of their facebook friends to with 'Ugly Christmas sweater' themes?
Do yall have n e lonely aunts without kids who would be willing 2 give me some of her old clothing that I could wear/start an eBay store with?


Is this an Ugly Christmas sweater of just an ugly sweater? Or something that M.I.A. would 'design'?

[TheCobrasnake Photography]
What are yall gonna wear this winter 2 keep warm?
Have yall heard of 'scarves'? Saw them in a maggyzine.

Christmas is Coming--Should I colour my hair blue to get in the holiday spirit?

[Photo by Hel-Looks]
I remember when I was 13 years old, I would watch rock stars on the Music Television, and they had outrageous hair. Mohawks, zany colours, and crazy styles. I was just a kid back then, deeply entrenched within society's norms, so I did not have the opportunity to express myself [via h8 u m0m].

Sometimes I see people who have made outrageous personal branding choices and wonder about their context. Do they contribute to society/the economy? Are they in a field where they express themselves? Do they just float around from weekend to weekend, working menial jobs in between? Are they important consultants to people within artistic industries? I just want to know what context/career I need 2 be in to make outrageous personal branding choices without looking like "I'm trying 2 hard."

Should I colour my hair blue/pink and get a mediocre office job?
Is it safe 2 assume that tweens with coloured hair are destined to be failed purgatory alts who never leave their suburban community?
Should there be a legal age limit for 'colouring ur hair a bright colour'?
Should I move to Australia since it is warm there, and use SUN IN in my hair?
Should I frost my tips?

Kinda excited abt Christmas. Might start the excessive 'should I buy ____ for Xmas' posts gimmick.
Do any Jews read this blog? Or is it mainly just WASPS, Mexicalts, and blipsters and AZNs?
What are yall getting 4 Christmas/Jewsmas/Kwanzmas/AZNmas?

Should I buy a wrist warmer watch?

Was this altbro injured, or is this a wrist warmer kind like how entry level alt grls wear leg warmers?

Haven't blggd abt gimmicky trends lately. Just tryin' 2 get 'back 2 basics' 2 search for authenticity. Saw an altbro the other day who was looking at a meaningful DJ setup. He had on a progressive watch that didn't rlly tell time & wasn't built the same way as m0st watches.

I think this watch with a time that never changes would be a great psychological tool to make ur life more meaningful. It would let u know that UR TIME IS NOW.
Now is the time for you to take your personal brand to the next level.
Now is the time 2 buy ableton and start ur sound project/electro duo with ur BFF.
Now is the time 2 'finally ask her out.'
Now is the time 2 move out of ur parents' house, get a job at a coffee shop 'while ur figuring out what u want 2 do', and try 2 get ur portfolio 2gether for ________ school.
Now is the time 2 go on that meaningful roadtrip u had been planning to a major music festival.

//UR /// TIME // IS // NOW
\\\ NVR \\ GIVE \\\\\ UP
[Photo by Thefriendattack]

Speaking of watch technology....
do yall know how I can get an indiglo screen on my Macbook?

(Might invest in indiglo tecknologie in 2k9.)

The First Day of Fall means the Return of Premature Scarf Bro

Summer is over
Fall is here
cool weather
creeping in

I look forward to all of the seasonal memes
Oktoberfests filled with beer
pumpkin spice products
Leaves falling

Fall vibes are hella chill
A new beginning
A new school year
A new season

But then vibes are harshed
I already saw him
Premature scarf bro

Srsly, why are you wearing a scarf?

It's like a chill 70 degrees
Not scarf weather, bro

It's honestly still pretty comfortable to wear shorts
a cool breeze tickling ur balls, vagine, or crawling up ur ass crack
Most people are enjoying optimal short sleeve weather
but ur wearing a goddamn scarf

Does ur neck get rlly cold or something?
R u ill?
R u dying?

Were u just pressured in2 buying a scarf
by ur 'crafty' GF who runs an Etsy store?

Goddammit, Premature Scarf Bro
Fall has only just begun
and ur straight up scarfing it.
At least wait until October to break out the scarf

I 'get' that u think winterwear makes u look attractive
and u just bought new clothes for the upcoming season
But can u plz chill out, premature scarf bro?

I used 2 think that I <3ed fall
But now I realize
that I h8 Premature Scarf Bro
more than I even h8 premature tanktop bro.

It's not even cold, premature scarf bro
Ur scarf isn't even a 'cool' one, premature scarf bro
No1 thinks u look like 'a metropolitan-wave human', premature scarf bro
Thanks for ruining fall, premature scarf bro.

At what temperature is it acceptable to wear a scarf? I'd say 49 degrees and below.
Do u h8 premature scarf bro?
Have u seen any bros in scarves?


Do bros in tank tops ruin chill summer vibes or enhance them? Summer: Rise of the #TankTopBros

ALSO: Why Pumpkin Spice Products are effing bullshit.

Content on the Internet

The internet is filled with content.
Pages and Pages of content.
Content on the internet comes from words on the internet.
Word on the internet are written by people on the internet.
People on the internet consume content on the internet.

The internet is a cheap, easy, fast way to publish content
Content can stay there forever.
Sometimes there are photographs
Moving visuals
Embedded content

Content consisting of aggregated content
People on the internet try to consume as much content on the internet
Sometimes it is easier to create content on the internet when you
can identify trends on the internet.

People on the internet create content on the internet
some humans create premium content
other humans can only tweet and post to facebook
some humans share content on the internet created by people on the internet

Content is usually free
People are encouraged to like and share content
Content on the internet is a cultural currency
Content on the internet isn't actually that interesting
It is just words
by/for people
about things, sometimes trends.

Content on the internet makes people on the internet who they are.
on the internet.

Backlash Thinkpiece to Today's Hot Trend

So many people are going out of their way to praise today's trend. Every one is so fascinated, from Middle Americans to tweens to even the high-level internet. I say, "Why?" Perhaps this trend has become out of control, clouding the way we usually think. Today's trend has run wild, and even the persons who I once thought were self-aware have malformed opinions concerning today's trend.

In a way, many of their points are valid, but at the same time, they are all so wrong. If anything, as a people, we must backlash against this popular trend in order to protect the sanctity of tomorrow. However, the backlash must be real.

I wrote this piece in order to make us think.

It appears as though as a society, we have reached a point where trends are everything, especially today's trend. I think that we should step back and ask ourselves what we are really consuming, because our inherent consumer culture of 1-click shopping has brought us to a point where instant satisfaction is necessary at all times. Mixed with a smorgasbord of social media culture, it is clear that our society overreacts to 'now.'

I ask, "What about the past?"
I ask, "What about the future?"
I scream, "Why is NOW so important?"

Today's trend has just reached a point where people are not even consuming it for the right reasons. Art. Progressiveness. Cultural innovation. Today's trend is hollow, evil, and must be seen thru. If we as a people don't stop today's trend, it is clear that things will not go well for us.

In a way, the way that today's trend leveraged social media to exploit the feeling of fear-of-missing-out was exploitative, creating a vacuous space of cultural emptiness. Sharing, liking, retweeting might be the only way that today's trend even resonates with every one.

When I was a child, there only used to be tv, print, and magazines. That is not the case now.

Take a step back and really think about the impact of today's trend on tomorrow. Maybe that's the sad thing about all of the success of today's trend. It's not good for the future generations, and I believe that if I am at the helm of cultural criticism, I will make that future a better place.

When tomorrow's trend comes along, we will all feel silly about today's trend. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Important ThinkPiece on Trend of the Moment

It is impossible to wander the internet these days on the type of sites that we read without running into today's trend. It seems as if the interest in this trend has truly captured our interest without the trouble of capturing our imagination. One thing is for sure, people will be talking about this trend, so it is important for us to write about it because I am confident that my readership is the only one that can truly dissect the trend in an authentic way.

As a cultural commentator who sits around on the internet absorbing trends, then writing about them as if my opinion matters, I feel as though I have developed many thoughts on this trend, many of which I am certain are valid because of my upbringing and exposure and interest in pop culture. In a way, this trend reflects 'now' due to societal constructs that it conforms to, but also rebels against, perhaps mirroring an era where the grass may or may not have been greener.

The trend looks very now, and the things that it says and does are calculated. The way that it appeals to a generation is fascinating because of the way it exploits nostalgia and every one thinking that they are special. There is something inherently sharable about this trend that seems to appeal to real working people, lunch pail crews. At the same time, it appeals to the tweens who share things on social media.

Isn't it funny how social media changed us as people?

Generation Y and millenials home ownership rise mortgage lending finance home APR. In a way, maybe we all want the same things, which is why the trend perhaps makes us 'one.'

Many people who are young do not know why they appreciate this trend, and why it is important. As an older person, I say 'Let the kids have fun, enjoy their trends.' I have been young before, and I have enjoyed these trends. I am a product of the 1970s/1980s/1990s.

There are many places on the internet that voiced pieces on this trend, however, this post is the most 'real' and is in it for the right reasons--to connect to you. In a way, we all realize that trends come and go, and we are getting older, so maybe a trend is just a historical marker of the way that things used to be, but at the same time, things are always the same, but in a way, this trend is just different enough to be different enough to be different.

Trends come, trends go. But I have a feeling that this trend truly changed things, but will also be forgotten, but perhaps recycled in one or two decades because of its originality, but also in the way it pays homage to simpler times. Thankfully, it is the internet that connects us to trends, and these trends that make the internet rich with dynamic, everchanging content.

This trend is and was very 'now', meriting many discussion pieces about it, such as this one, but once again, this one was real and I feel as though it truly broke thru the noise of the internet.

10 Ways Today's Trend Can Help You

TREND WATCH 2k13: Michelle Obama cuts her bangs. Are BANGS still alt or lamestream?

HIPSTER RUNOFF used 2 document
relevant alt trends
U know, like BANGS
perfect alt breasts
and bros who are unchill and AZN

Does n e 1 remember 'bangs'?
Girls used 2 cut them
so their hair sat in a straight line on their forehead.
Some girls use bangs 2 cover up their 'large ass foreheads'
Others do it bc it is a relevant alt trend.

I miss the days
of brunettes
with beautiful alt bangs

Does n e 1 know if Michelle Obama is bringing them back?
Or does this mean that they are hella lamestream?
Does the 1st lady 'rock those effing bangs HARD'?
Or does she look like a 2kLate ass bitch?
Is she an overrated fashion icon?

Man Bangs used 2 be pretty alt.

Maybe only manbangs are still alt

This bro seems pretty hardXcore
but probably needs a bang trim

Grimes sported the 'baby bangs'

But also sorta a lamestream sideshave

Alt AZNs sorta used 2 vibe on some bangs/bowl cuts

Are bangs 'effing back'?

Does n e 1 know if BANGS are relevant or not?
Are #sideshaves relevant?
Are 'alt bangs' now 'vintage'?

If 'bangs' are back, do u know if RECORD HATS are coming back?

New York Times profiles seapunk genre. Has #seapunk arrived or is it just a dumb Tumblr hashtag?

seapunk guy Zombelle
I am not sure if seapunk is a genre of music, a web trend, a cultural trend, or just some #hashtag that Tumblr tweens use to describe a new aesthetic of the way ppl look when they are trying 2 hard 2 be/look alt. The New York Times 'blogged' about some seapunk show by a seapunk buzzband named Zombelle, covering it like it is a relevant enough trend to try to get 'the SEO jump' on. Seapunk apparently sounds like techno bleep bloop speed glitch hip hop 90s r & b chillwave indie pop core intelligent techno house with allusions to _________. I think seapunk's gimmick is just all about being able to say that it is influenced by 'everything' [on the internet], thereby making it coverable on the internet.

Here's what seapunk buzzband Zombelle sounds like in case u wanted 2 know what seapunk was all abt

This might be seapunk's 'great moment' where it has finally demanded the attention of blogs that link to NYTimes articles as if it actually means something, and the NYTimes is different than Buzzfeed/Know Your Meme/Gawker/some other meme content farm.

“SHOUT out to Tumblr,” said Zombelle, a blue-haired singer who performed last weekend at an unnamed warehouse in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. The concert was billed as the city’s first Seapunk Alien Disco Indie Rave, but only a handful of the 20-somethings clutching cans of Budweiser seemed to know precisely what “seapunk” even meant.

Have u evr shouted out Tumblr? Do yall know if seapunks pray 2 David Karp?

Look at these effing seapunks.

Is seapunk the nu- new nu-rave rave? I wanna go 2 a place with sillie t-shirts and glowsticks and ppl with stupid hair. <3

A look around the graffiti-lashed venue offered clues: T-shirts plastered with pixilated sharks, raised neon glow-sticks, several mops of hair dyed blue and green.

Sprouting from the digital petri dish of social networking, seapunk is a whimsical style that mashes together cartoonish aquatic themes, rave culture and a nostalgia for ’90s Internet imagery. The iconography, which exists almost entirely online, includes clip art of dolphins jumping through pyramids, aquamarine-haired mermaids with SpongeBob T-shirts, and psychedelic orbs flying over computer-generated waves.

Do u evr wonder if ur trapped on 'the digital petri dish of social networking'?

In the modern era of buzz, all u have 2 do is add a hashtag 2 something 2 make it a relevant, self-aware trend that innovative young ppl can talk abt like it 'matters.'

Started online last year by a tiny sect of social media geeks, seapunk gathered momentum as it echoed on Twitter, Facebook and especially Tumblr. It has occasionally surfaced, in the real world, with seapunk-themed parties and bands, but the real joy remains in tagging and sharing the trippy nautical images.

According to a D.J. in Brooklyn who goes by the Twitter handle Lil Internet, he coined the term “seapunk” last June after having a surreal dream, which he tweeted about: “Seapunk leather jacket with barnacles where the studs used to be.” His friends added a hashtag to “seapunk,” and a trend was born, like Aphrodite from the foam.

“The surprising thing is that it really was cohesive,” Lil Internet said by iChat; he declined to use his legal name, saying he is now known solely by his Twitter handle. He also described seapunk’s vibe as “Venice Beach Acid Rave 1995,” and cited surf-wear logos, yin-yang symbols and round holographic sunglasses as part of its look.

Here is some broad from the seapunk buzzband Zombelle. Does Shan Beaste look 'mad hot'?
zombelle Shan Beaste

s000 many mnstrm artists are STEALING the authentic seapunk aesthetic.

Despite their subculture status, seapunkers insist that their sensibility has been appropriated by the mainstream, or at least leeched by celebrity stylists. There’s no concrete evidence of piracy, but pop culture has indeed seen recent splashes of aquamarine: Nicki Minaj painted her skin blue for a Vogue shoot; Katy Perry wore a turquoise bob; a Google Image search of “seapunk” pulls up a photo of Lady Gaga with a neon blue wig.

“No one will actually credit it to us,” said Zombelle, who lives in Chicago and said her offstage name is Shan Beaste. “There are people who work for Lady Gaga that are in my circle of friends.”

Azealia Banks, a rapper from Harlem, is the rare notable who has publicly praised seapunk: she wore green hair, name-checked the genre on Twitter and has described herself as a mermaid. But Ms. Beaste dissed Ms. Banks, too. “Mermaids are vicious harpies who lure sailors to their death,” she said, scorn cresting in her voice.

Seapunk = alt = mnstrm.

BTW. This is what seapunk looks like.

Do u live 4 seapunk?
Is seapunk ripping off another genre/aesthetic?
Do u <3 or h8 microtrends?
Do u vibe 2 seapunks, or are they 'completely full of shit'?
seapunk fashion
Is seapunk a musical genre, fashion aesthetic, or just a lifestyle brand created by influential marketing firms?
Should MTNDEW/Converse sponsor the next microtrend genre?
Can seapunk replace chillwave as an 'internet fueled' microtrend, or would it actually require 'good music'?
Do trends 'mean anything' any more?
is the only good seapunk a dead seapunk?
HAs the internet 'ruined everything' or made everything 'totally awesome'?
Does seapunk make u wish that poor, artsy ppl couldn't afford laptops?
Has seapunk 'gone mainstream'/finally gone from sea 2 land?
seapunk dolphin



seapunk is as music genre, hashtag, trend, microgenre, Tumblr topic, and new aesthetic.

Lists: genres, trend
Read more>>>>

Lil Wayne wears a backpack at Bonnaroo to 'jack the swag' of NBA blipsters

This year, it seems like the backpack has become the ultimate 'swag ass blipster' trend. It all started when Kevin Durant started 2 wear a backpack to post-game press conferences during the NBA playoffs. Now it seems like Lil Wayne is attempting to take the trend to the next level by wearing a backpack during his Bonnaroo live set.

I am not really sure what they put in their bags. Maybe it is just like a 'swag ass carrier case' that you can put other swag ass things in2. Beats By Dre headphones Mad swag sneakers. Swag ass tall tees. Swag ass glasses. Swag ass iPod docks. Swag ass Lunchables. Swag Swag Old Navy Performance Fleeces. Swag ass tinker toys. You never really know what is in the backpack, u just have 2 use ur imagination.

Did Kevin Durant look more blip/alt when he wore the backpack?

Is Lil Wayne 'trying 2 hard' to ripoff the swag of NBA players?

R u happy LeBron James lost?
Is Lil Wayne an authentic trendsetter, or does he just rip of other bros?
Do u ever 'jack' n e 1 else's 'swag'?
R u going to start wearing a blipster backpack?
Are Jansport/Eastbay/North Face backpacks 'swag' enough?
Is 'swag' the 'swaggiest' buzzword in the swagosphere?
What is the most swag trend in the bliposphere?
WhAt'S iN tHe BaG?!?

NYTimes writes article abt how ‘effing hipsters’ are wearing zany, ironic basketball jerseys

Basketball jerseys have become a chill, alt look for bros in the summer. Whether you are going to a relevant music festival, grabbing a smoothie at Jamba Juice, or mowing ur parents' lawn in suburbia, the basketball jersey is a great way to stay warm with a breathable product and show off ur alt figure. Kinda an old trend, but I think mainstream sports blogs have been generating 'mad photo gallery hits' by posting 'effing hoopsters wearing basketball jerseys' photo galleries.

Really worried abt the state of modern journalism. Wonder if this bro can email his parents and say 'I was in the NYTimes 4 wearing that jersey you bought me before I was cut from the middle school basketball team.'

Mr. Haavisto, a 22-year-old aspiring filmmaker in Manhattan who wears tortoiseshell glasses and Vans sneakers, is among an unexpected breed of memorabilia collectors: 20-somethings with limited finances and unlimited nostalgia for the N.B.A. players — often obscure — of their childhoods.

Walk Bedford Avenue in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, on a sunny Sunday, and you’ll spy any number of young men in vintage N.B.A. jerseys. It’s a safe bet none are headed to the basketball court.

Jesus Christ. None of them heading to basketball courts. Dear Lord. Vans sneakers. Holy shit. 20-somethings with limited finances. Unlimited nostalgia. Christ.

The article goes on to 'interview' a few alts who wear NBA jerseys, and they 'don't want to say where they found their authentic jerseys' because they are afraid of too many people finding out where 2 find relevant jerseys:

Both Mr. Keegan and Mr. Haavisto say they resent the new-found popularity of these jerseys among the fashion-conscious who are not basketball fans, and lament the rising prices for used and replica jerseys. Mr. Haavisto refused to name his favorite vintage store for fear of word getting around.

I wonder if vintage NBA jerseys are 'the new buzzbands' via not wanting mainstreamers to discover them/get their hands on them. Do u ever try to keep people from finding out about relevant bands/buzzworthy albums?

The article then goes on to admit that this article is just trying to 'get in on the hits' that all the blogs are getting by posting 'hoopster' galleries:

the sports blog asked readers to submit photos of themselves in their favorite jerseys for an online feature. A 75-photograph series from Lollapalooza had over 52,000 page views.

Does n e 1 know how much a page view is worth in internet dollars?
Do u wear vintage clothes/jerseys to connect with ur youth/the past?
Are retro NBA jerseys an 'authentic trend', or has the trend been around for a while, but the blogosphere is just 'figuring out the appropriate way 2 memefy this meme'?
Have u 'made it' as a human/trend/cultural movement when u end up in the New York Times?

Is this bro a 'hipster' or just a '20-something'?

Then they interviewed popular jam band singer Dave Matthews and he tried to be all deep:

David Matthews, a contributing editor to Deadspin, sees a possible psycho-social imperative behind the trend. “A friend of mine thinks that wearing an N.B.A. jersey is a way of showcasing your masculinity after years of figurative castration brought on by skinny jeans and the like,” he said.

Wonder if I should just tuck my cock between my legs, walk around with a mangina, and chill in a WNBA jersey.

Is the NYTimes 'relevant' or just a blog content aggregator?
What is the most alt retro NBA jersey?
Should Am Appy start selling vintage NBA jerseys 2 save their business?
Should I move 2 Brooklyn and try to 'start a trend' so that I can get a writeup that launches my career?

Snarky JPG Meme emerges ‘making fun of’ the ‘hipster fashion cycle’

It seems like some1 designed this picture to create a 'snarky take' on the hipster fashion cycle. The JPG photo, possibly designed in Adobe Photoshop or Adobe Illustrator seems to try to 'analyze trends.' Assuming that 'hipsters' are on the cutting edge of culture, this photographic tries to 'give in depth analysis' on how 'effing hipsters' try so hard 2 be individuals, but don't realize that they are 'just part of a fickle cycle.'

Really opened my eyes, and made me feel like I wasn't unique [via Fight Club/Tyler Durden/Brad Pitt].

Do yall think this meme is 'insightful', 'duh', or 'just plain wrong'?
Are there any problems
Do yall feel like every phase of the fashion/trend cycle is sorta ironic/post-trendy?

So many mainstreamers trying to go viral with 'hipster memes.'

Do yall think this cycle applies to every hipster fashion/trend?
(Yes/No) Mom Jeans
(Yes/No) Shuttershades
(Yes/No) Fixed Gear Bicycles
(Yes/No) Twitter
(Yes/No) Facebook
(Yes/No) Skinny Jeans
(Yes/No) Vintage thriftwave shopping
(Yes/No) being Richie Tenenbaum for halloween
(Yes/No) being Margot Tenenbaum for Halloween
(Yes/No) Record Hats
(Yes/No) The XX
(Yes/No) chillwave
(Yes/No) Animal Collectives
(Yes/No) masturbating
(Yes/No) Child Predator glasses
(Yes/No) Palestinian Scarves
(Yes/No) Fedoras
(Yes/No) Duvets
(Yes/No) working at a coffee shop
(Yes/No) working at a starbucks
(Yes/No) going vegan
(Yes/No) going to Six Flags
(Yes/No) wearing khakis
(Yes/No) drinking soy milk
(Yes/No) memeing on the internet

Just trying to 'break down' this meme, and see if it is 'truly insightful' or if

Do yall think this infographic is 'correct'?
Do yall adopt trends or do u transcend them?
Do u h8 'effing hipsters'?
Do all alternative trends turn mainstream, and all conservative mainstream trends turn alt?

VIDEO: Some alt buzzes off a section of her hair to be more authentic


Many alt girls have been asking whether or not they should shave off a section of their hair in order to elevate their personal brands to a higher plane of authenticity / existence. It seems like this girl vlogged her experience to become the 'Joan of Arc' / Oprah of girls who buzz off sections of their hair. I feel like I might go to my local drug store, buy some hair clippers and 'take the plunge.'

Do u think ur gonna buzz off a section of ur hair?

Do girls who buzz off sections of their hair seem more 'rugged and authentic' than girls with long hair?

Do u think she is prettier with a buzzed section of hair?
Is she more likely to be mistaken for an 'indie rock star' now?
Do yall know any kewl emerging trends that can be blogged about on the internet?

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