Uffie | Hipster Runoff

Uffie

Would u bet on a 'Blog House Revival'? [ALT STOCK MARKET]

I was recently on the internet, and I happened to see that former bloghaus 'it girl' Uffie had some sort of 'new music video.' I am not sure if I ever liked her, or if I was just 'really into being into bloghouse bangers'/pretending that I was 'into electro culture' as I tried 2 distance myself from the mainstreamification of meaningfulcore indie rock.

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I am not sure how to feel about this video. Sorta is like some sort of time machine, or a vessel to the past. You watch it and remember 'how the electro blog scene used to be.' U sorta want to move to L.A. and try to become internet friends with altCelebs. I think this song is like from 4 years ago. From what I understand, Uffie's appeal was to be some sort of 'lolita' type of figure since she was a [BARELY LEGAL] teen when she 'first came on the scene.' Now it seems like her brand is 'cougar.' Not sure if her product/brand will be able to 'penetrate' as deep as it once could have now that electro sorta died and ppl want 'conceptual shit.' Miss when Uffie used to 'chill out' with her nipples hanging out all the time.

I feel like even the market for female raunchy slutty crappy myspacey rap acts bubble 'burst' a while ago. I'm not sure if alternative girls still want to 'be like that.' I think they have new aspirations, and don't want to hear skanky girls rapping about getting drunk and letting men put their erect peepees into them.

(This music might still be popular with Californian females.)

I am not sure how long the 'shelf life' of an aesthetic/genre/band is supposed to last. Once you have a 'fan', will that fan buy something from you for the rest of his or her life? I wonder if a chillwave band will 'release' a video/single for one of their 2k9 songs in 2k13. Really 'baffled' that Ed Banger is 'back on the scene.' I think it is generally a 'good thing' for music websites to have a 6 month turnover on a genre, so that 'we' can appear to always be on the lookout for something totally new and different. I just wish more blogs and music site zines would be willing to 'throw artists under the bus' and 'act like certain artists never existed.' It's okay to be ashamed of who u used to be. Distancing urself from bands that u used to like is 'just part of growing up' in the modern world.

Just because u were 'relevant' once doesn't mean u earn the right to be relevant 4evr. I wonder if modern indie bands 'want to last forever.' It seems difficult, like the forces that helped u become a buzzworthy band would be the same forces that tore u apart/made the world 4get abt u.

Speaking of Ed Banger products, I also feel 'very confused' by this video for Justice's remix of Lenny Kravitz. Sorta just 'skimmed' through it and saw a lot of confusing parts and heard a lot of Justicey sounding music. Seems like a gimmicky conceptual music video that I 'don't really have time' to try to watch in order to 'get' the concept. S0 many memes, not enough time.

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Wonder if an older version of me would have thought this was 'kewl' and 'blggbl.' Or if I would have been proud that 'bloghouse had finally made it.'

I wonder if 'bloghouse' and 'bangers' will come back after the chillwave era. Seems like we are still searching for 'what is next' for the winter months.

If there was some sort of alternative stock market, would u invest in bloghouse? Would u buy shares in Uffie/Ed Banger?
How much would AnCo stock be worth?
What would the 'google' of alternative stocks?
Would Am Appy stock be worth more in 'the real stock market' or 'the alt stock market'?
Is now the time to buy stock in Horchata Core?

'WTF is horchata?'

Uffie

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Uffie is a French bloghouse rapper who is known for hanging out with her titties out.

Read more>>>>

Name That Alternative Celebrity Lookalike (some broad)


[lookbook photography]

I was looking at pictures of hot alt tween chicks, and I noticed that this altbroad looked a lot like one of my favourite alternative celebrities. Can yall guess who she looks like?

Hints:

  • She is famous 4 wearing top hats
  • She sings the song "I Kissed a Girl and I Liked it, Yall."
  • She was in the hit reality show The Osbournes.
  • It may or may not be "The Uffie."
  • She sings the song "Just Dance."
  • It might be Alice Glass as a blonde, but I'm not sure.
  • She was on the show The Simple Life

WHO DO YALL THINK IT IS?

Is Uffie still 'bloggable content'?

I didn't read about 'why' Uffie was naked and her boyfriendArtBro was doodling her, but it seemed bloggable. But then I got all sad cuz I don't want my blog to be aligned with n00dz+electro any more. Kinda want to make it more like a 'communal room where bros turn on lava lamps and listen to AnCo/incubus.'

[meme via hypebeast/ID magazine]

I remember back in 2k7/k8, Uffie would always 'show off her nips' and it would be s000 bloggable. Kinda ashamed of who I was back then. I thought it was funnie that I kept blggng about her, even though she has only really made like 2.5 songs. It was a 'funnie joke' since she just kinda parties and pretends 2 be a musician. but now I actually hold my altcelebs and musicians accountable for progressive our art economy.

In 2k9, now that we are closer to bringing authentic art/artists to the mainstream, I will no longer honor memes like this. It's time to 'grow up' and put Ed Banger behind us, yall. U have 2 realize that when u go to a Justice concert, u r perpetuating consumerist bullshit. It's just the next trend that pokemones/mexicAlts are going to worship. (not sure if ppl already stopped following Ed Banger memes+artists in 2k5)

Yall need to worship that it is 'okay to like music' for any reason, but it is also 'okay to resent music that u used 2 allegedly like and shun that era of ur life, completely invalidating who U were during that time.'

We need to grow up.
We need to come up with a global rubric for what constitutes 'art.'
We need international blogging guidelines for 'what memes are bloggable.'
We need viral containment standards.
We need to look in the mirror
and realize that we will not last forever (our lives')
and do more to chill hard
without thinking about
why we like what we like
and follow what we follow.

(do yall know what female artists will be big in 2k9? Maybe that girl who wrote that song about how she's not gonna write u a love song (u say I only hear what I want 2)?)
What should HRO be about in 2k9? what gimmicks can yall see emerging?

Uffie

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Uffie is a French bloghouse rapper who is known for hanging out with her titties out.

Read more>>>>

Name that Alternative Celebrity Lookalike (Uffie?)


[Via lookbook]

Yall, I was on my daily tween content hunt, and I stumbled across this girl who looks s00 much like one of my favourite alt celebs from 2k8. Kinda weird how those days of 2k7/k8 are long gone, and in about 2 months, I probably won't even recognize this broad.

Hints:

  • It's a broad.
  • She got pregnant 1 time, except it was just a lie started by a magazine blog 'to get ad money.'
  • She has bangs
  • Sometimes her hair is brown. Sometimes it is blonde.
  • She is known as 'the Britney Spears of the electro world.'
  • She is known as 'the Alice Glass of bangers.'
  • She luvz 2 show off her nipz.
  • She left America as a tween to 'find herself' in Europe.

Who do yall think it is?

The person who correctly identifies the lookalike will win dinner for 2 at Chili's, a twitter account, and the opportunity to star in a music video by a bloghouse band that will be uploaded 2 vimeo.

The Most Fascinating/Beautiful Alternative Personal Brands of 2k8


Every year, certain individuals set themselves apart from 'the crowd' with strong personal branding decisions. In our alternative word, you must be creative/talented/beautiful/sluttie/zany/good@self-promotion/have a gimmicky gimmick in order 2 b noticed. For the next couple of days until I lose interest in the gimmick, I will post about some of the strongest personal brands of 2k8.

(gonna miss 2k8)
/// The Year
/// The Neon Died

FASCINATING/BEAUTIFUL PERSONAL BRANDS
BLOG BITCHES: UFFIE & ALICE GLASS


Dear Uffie and Alice,
Yall were really good 2 me this year. Not sure if I found yall talented, and not even sure if yall have albums from 2k8, but I just posted a lot abt yall. Sorry if yall feel 'objectified' or like I gave yall non-traditional coverage that entry level blggrs + fggt alt news sources give yall, but please appreciate me for giving u 'coverage.' Didn't mean to demean your 'art'/'vision' or whatever u wanna call it. Not gonna apologize for 'crossing the line' cuz I don't think I did, but I hope yall are able to 'stay sexie' in 2k9. This might require releasing a book where you post pictures of yalls selves' having sex with men, kind of like Madonna. Or maybe you can 'go krazie' like the Britney Spears band. Not gonna tell yall how 2 manage your careers, but just sayin...
Most importantly, don't let yalls alternative fame and sex appeal go 2 yalls heads. Don't 4get ur past, and don't turn into the ppl u h8. Sorry if I sound like yalls 'resentful dads' who don't understand ur careers because u don't have medical/dental/vision coverage, but do what u can 2 take care of urself. We don't even know if MP3s will still be legal in 2k9, so just take care of yalls selves.
Proud of yall for having a stronger personal brand than Ladyhawke/Lady Gaga/Little Boots/Lovefoxxx/etc. (U never know what could happen in 2k9, though).

Your blggr,
Carles

PS: "I still haven't found what I'm looking 4." -U2 about Uffie's alt breasts

Pupu Platter of Links
Uffie Grabfest // Uffie Audrey Hepburn Makeover // Uffie Pregnancy Rumors Uffie Grandparent///// Alice Glass Upskirt grab //// Some AltBro + Alice Glass /// Uffie nips foto shoppe /// Uffie Juicy nips // Uff Ribcage /// Alice Glass leggings

WHO ELSE SHOULD BE ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL/INTERESTING PERSONAL BRANDS OF 2K8?
(besides 'Barry Obama')

Which Busy P Empire Spinoff Product Should I Buy?

Should I buy these Daft Punk loafers?

Or these Daft Punk Dolls?

Or the Busy P + SoMe sneaker?

Don't u h8 FRENCH PEOPLE BANTER in English?

Should I buy the Ed Banger ED PHONES?

Should I buy this FEADZ Mighty Kids Meal // Happy Meal?

Or should I get the Uffie McFlurry maker?

Or should I just 'cum' with an an androgynous McDonalds character? <3 Grimace <3

[Photo by GVB at Grimace's DJ Set @ Pitchfork Music Festival (2015)]

Or should I be Justice in a Palestinian scarf for Halloween?

[Shoes via Sean Ahern Tumblr]
[FGGT Dolls by Daily Swarm]

Or should I just buy a pack of Sharpies and huff them until my brain starts leaking out of my nose?

What are yall gonna buy?

Daft Punk

DJ, Buzzband

Daft Punk is a French House band that 'peaked' with discovery.

Read more>>>>

Uffie

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Uffie is a French bloghouse rapper who is known for hanging out with her titties out.

Read more>>>>

Justice

DJ, Buzzband

Justice is a popular banger house electro group from France on Ed Banger Records.

Read more>>>>

GrabFest 2k8 (Uffie and Girl Talk crowdsurg & get groped)


In our modern world, whenever a female artist crowd surfs, any even is automatically renamed GRABFEST _K_ (depending on the date). Put urself in the shoes of a bro, or even an altBro... would U 'have a lil grab' if u had the chance?

It's difficult for any male to resist the temptation of 'sticking a finger or two' up some one's '_____.' This is why there are s0 many bros with 'shit eating grins' in the kute pic of Uffie above. If u were a girl, would u crowd surf?

[Photo by The Cobrasnake]

Previous memorable crowd surfing moments on HRO
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/05/crowd-surf-gang-bang.html
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/07/alice-glass-upskirt-grab.html

BUT SRSLY...
is there a point when crowd surfing is no longer authentic? Or is the act of 'crowd surfing' something that marketing firms invented to add 'meaningful emotional value' to your live show?

Uffie

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Uffie is a French bloghouse rapper who is known for hanging out with her titties out.

Read more>>>>

Girl Talk

Alternative Celebrity, DJ

Girl Talk is a laptop DJ who got big in the bloghouse era but really just produces generic, well-branded mix tapes.

Read more>>>>

Memoirs from an ElectroPrison


I never thought it would happen to me. I never thought I would become a prisoner of war in one of the first battles of the ElectroWar--the Battle of the Grey Goose River. We were part of an American contingent that allied with the European Electro Coalition (who had rallied around the French after a group of Australis assassinated the Daft Punks).

My name is Stephen. Not my birthname, but my Americanized stage name. This is my story.

Life in the electroPrisonCamp was difficult. We were given one meal a day, which consisted of a SXSWSTRN eggroll and an 8 oz mini can of Bud Light. We were tortured every day. They forced us to give up secrets, particularly about the technology we used to make bangers, and what popular beat matching software existed in our part of the world. They also demanded to know how we 'learned how to make filters that sounded eggzackly like Daft Punk's.'

We quickly learned that the Australian ElectroJihaadists were planning a terrorist attack on a weekly party in Tulsa, Oklahoma. There was no way of letting them know that the worst was yet to come [via hiptop/sent from my iPhone/sent from my AT&T wireless device]. They confiscated our mobile devices and laptops, which were sent to labs to extract data from.

I'll never forget the my best friends in Prison. There was a set of masked DJs and an electroDiva who was prone to nipslips. We did our best to make it from day to day, being held in underwater cages. We were even forced to play Russian roulette against one another. One time one of them died. Was kinda sad, but was kinda happy that it wasn't me.

N e ways, years after the War ended, we were released from the Prison Camp. The people who ran the prison camp were actually not affiliated with the Australian ElectroForces, and just kept their prison camp alive to maintain some form of 'control' over their lives' and others. Kinda sad, but what any trivial ElectroProducer would probably do.

Now we are left 2 find out who we are in a p0st-electroWar world. I am a veteran now. I question the whole direction of my life, and wonder how the horrors of war have changed my outlook on life. I will make a movie about adjusting to post-ElectroWar Life starring Tom Cruise as me.

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(I am also in a wheel chair and will grow a CrazyDisgruntledVeteranBeard and become an anti-Electro Music Activist).

[Prison photo by The Prison Photo Snake]

XX BONUS PICTURE XX
Here is how the photo will look after it is run through an aging filter to make it look more authentic/'representative of pain & suffering that is associated with old photos from War.'

Uffie: Is She Back?


I remember when the altWorld followed the Britney-like meltdown of Uffie. We were there when she showed off her beautiful breasts, and even when she gave a live performance wearing only a t-shirt. (And also that time that she showed off her AZN-covered breasts.)

All we ever wanted was 4 her to re-capture the magic of when bloghaus was still young, and a larger percentage of people considered Ed Banger 2 be an authentic lifestyle brand (b4 the entry-level alts 'discovered' bangers).

Is Uffie back, yall?  If you were a personal branding consultant, what sort of strategy session/intervention would u have with Uffie?  Is Uffie another example of a child star going through a rough time as she 'becomes a woman' bc she didn't have an 'ordinary childhood' and 'is in the public eye' even though she 'does the same stuff other girls her age are doing'?

********
BUT SRSLY. Should I dress up as Justice for Halloween and carry around an Uffie blowup doll by her neck? (Realistic props make costumes more authentic.)

[
Photos by the cobrasnake]

Does this trailer for "A Cross the Universe" make u want 2 b Justice more or less?
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctKsWGcGedY&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&fs=1]
Hopefully this DVD comes with the altTitties featured in the trailer/has atleast 30-to-1 ratio of TIT SCENES to 'meaningful driving scenes.'

Did Uffie get a makeover, yall?


Do yall like the new Uffie without blonde hair? Kinda miss the old Uffie and her free-spirited ways. Hopefully dark haired Uffie will still show off her amazing curves.

Yall, I don't even remember what Uffie sounds like. 2k7 basically never happened, yall. :-( Kinda sad, but maybe kinda a blessing in disguise.

Does the new Uffie look like Audrey Hepburn?

Is it authentic for entry level alt girls to 'idolize' Audrey Hepburn? Would that be kind of like a kid who was born today idolizing Jessica Alba in 18 years? Never seen Hepburn in a movie since I only watch mockumentaries, so maybe I 'don't get it', but is Audrey Hepburn the female version of CheGuevara/Bob Marley in terms of cliched poster sales on college campuses?

Should I buy this Bob Marley poster since I am a mainstreamBro who has successfully integrated 'I SMOKE POT, YALL' into my personal brand?

Uffie is pregnant, Yall!

Great news, yall!
Uffie is having a baby! Not sure who the dad is, but maybe it's FEADZ, ANDRE, or the Ed Banger Record Label. Who ever it is would have 2 b krazie not 2 want to spend the rest of their life with her. Ryte?

[Photo by IcantTeachUHOw2Doit]
Is she ready 2 'become a mom'?
Will Ed Banger Records give her 'maternity leave'?
Will Justice take her vocals off their hit song "The Party"?
Will she bring her baby to parties?
Will she crave sillie snacks like Butterfingers, CrunchNMunch, goldfish crackers, and Skinny Cow Ice Cream desserts?

What do u think she should name the kid?
a) LilBangy
b) Uff Jr.
c) AltAccident
d) Steve Aoki
e) something that rhymes with Joustice
f) Johnathan Brandis Uffie, Jr.
g) license the baby's name out to Scion/Sparks/Nike/other altCompanies
h) Uffington Chaz Spencer Prince William IV
i) Andre Edward Banger Feadz III
j) Alice Agyness Lovefoxxx Feist
k) Choose.Your.Own.Name

I think I'm about to go to American Appy to buy some babie or dog clothes for the kid. Which 1 of these would fit an altInfant better?
or

BREAKING NEWS....

[via Pedestrian.tv]

I was looking forward to hear Uffie's new album that's less about partying & being ready to Uff, and more about 'parenting tips', feeding kids organic smart snacks, and when is the right time to stop breastfeeding. :-(
I feel like as alts grow up into coolParents, we're gonna need some more alt Celebs who have kidz to be positive role models.

:-( Life is beautiful. It's always sad 2 find out that the media lied about some1 being preggers. I miss babies that were never even conceived more than babies that were 'eliminated after conception.'

:-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-(

BUT SRSLY...have u ever dated some1 who 'changed' a lot after u? Whether it's 'going mainstream', 'becoming a slut', or just a general overhaul of their personal brand...does it hurt when they change from the person u used 2 know?

Uffie

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Uffie is a French bloghouse rapper who is known for hanging out with her titties out.

Read more>>>>

WHAT EVER HAPPENED 2...?

We live in a world where things change every day. One day u r famous, the next day no1 knows who u r. One day u r a viral internet meme...the next day ur just another person who uses the internet too much and understands the concept of a 'meme.'

I just wanted to know what happened to stuff from the past. Some of the stuff we should miss. Some of the stuff we shouldn't miss 2 much.


WHATEVER HAPPENED 2:

The band that dressed up in suits (the Interpolice)

The Zany Female Jewish Comedian

The Postal Services

Uffie 1.0

Girls who were attracted to Jared Leto's personal brand

The guy who played 'The Terminating"

Mark Hunter, Photographer for thecobrasnake.com, before he 'changed'

Conan O'Brien style humor

The song with the whistling about not caring about young people

What happened 2 the days when we used 2 all get along and only care about partying 4 the sake of partying? Back before money, reputation, and personal brands were on the line. Will things ever be authentic again?

The guy from the band ZanyTown (Crazie)

The nice guy from Friends

The Fat guy from SNL who was on drugs

The modern philosopher/minimalist web designer/human internet meme, Jakob Loadwick

The Flight of the Quirk-chords

Girls with personal brands that emulated Lisa Loeb

The sillie bass player from The Fred Durst Band (FDB)

People who go to music festivals 2 see Jack Johnson

SRSLY yall...what ever happened 2 all of this stuff?
Is society getting better or worse?
Does the internet make things less meaningful?

Name that Alternative Celebrity Look-Alike!


Can u name this alt celeb lookalike who looks eggzackly lyke a famous recording artist who likes to show her nips, sang a bloghouse anthem with Justice (aka Jousteece) called "The Party", and has been seen canoodling/getting buzzed with Agyness Deyn a lot.

BTW...can n e 1 give me a link to the JUSTICE online merch store so I can buy a few of those Justice necklaces?

SRSLY tho... is that hair natural, or did she put sun-in/hydrogen-peroxide in it?

[Altamira]

Did yall put SUN-IN in ur hair this summer, or is that only for greasy mainstreamer white teenagers & mexis who want their hair to turn orange?

Seen n e kute Uffies lately?


EFF
YOO
SEE
KAY

is that a metaphor, yall?
I actually tried to wear that shirt when my free-spirited mom dropped me off at the movies to see 'The Dark Knight', but she wasn't free-spirited enough to let me wear it.

Does n e 1 know if she crowdsurfed in her gold shorty shorts? Did you have a grab?

[Via Flickr]

XX BONUS GIRL TALK BOATING ACROSS A SEA OF ENTRY LEVEL ALTS PIC XX


'so there I was...dancing at a Girl Talk concert in my favourite AA v-neck and consistently being in the top 10% of 'recognizing samples before any one else could.' I felt something come over me--like I was a part of something authentic and unique for the first time. I looked up, and I saw Girl Talk's beautiful blue eyes. I couldn't believe the genius behind 'Night Ripper' was reaching out his hand to me. He invited me on his boat. I asked him where we were going. He looked at me straight in the eye and said, "We are going on a journey to find out what it means to be alt. We also might stop by Chili's. I love SXSWstrn Eggrolls." '

[Photo by Caural]

NAME THOSE ALT CELEBS


Can yall guess who the two blondies on the left are? They look like they went out for a night of gettin' buzzed on the town. Probs had one 2 many Schmirnoff Ices, and played 1 too many drinking games revolving around the new Girl Talk album.

HINT: Here is a picture of half of their faces.

More Hints:

  • They are both singers.
  • They are both natural gingers.
  • They were both born in Orlando, FL, and had internships at Disney World.
  • They were both in the alt version of the Mickey Mouse club when they were kids.
  • Both have dated members from the Strokes/the Hives/Sum 41/Franz Ferdy/the comedy gang called 'the Human Giant(s)'
  • Both played softball in high school, and decided to become alt after personal renaissances during 'experimental phases.'

I can't understate how much I luv gettin buzzed with groups of my closest friends. After the night is over, and we wake up the next morning, sometimes we can't believe we r still alive. Some nights can be s0 random, full of meaningful, yet meaningless adventure. But we are young, and we will live forever. Faces come, and faces go--kind of like how part of the weekend nvr dies. _______ is where the heart is.
Love all yall. Never give up on true friendship.

[Photos by I Can Teach U How To Do it]

UFFIE STRIKES AGAIN


UFFIE + JUICY NIPS = [MORE BLOGGABLE THAN 95% OF BANGERS FROM THE BANGER ERA]
I hope Uffie continues to wear see-thru tops, just so blggrs can still blog about her. She looks kute, though. I think she bleached her eyebrows.

"With nips that juicy, how can u not blog abt them?"
-The World's Top 10 Music Blogs

Note: There are a dozen more Uffie Nip Pix at this link. Which 1 is gonna be ur desktop background?
http://www.icanteachyouhowtodoit.com/madameparis


xx BONUS 'It Girl' Coverage XX

Agyness Deyn and Uffy, also known as the ideal slices of bread in an ALT BRO sandwich

The Era of DJ Mom Jeans is Over. What do you think her DJ Name is?

Dear HRO, Plz Stop Blggng Abt My GF's Nips. Luv, Mr. Uffie [via Bros In Justice Jackets]

[Photos by ICan'tTEachYouHowToDoIt]

Uffie

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Uffie is a French bloghouse rapper who is known for hanging out with her titties out.

Read more>>>>

Name That Alternative Celebrity (Uffie pt 100?)


Does any one recognize this infamous partie starter?
HINT: IT IS NOT GARY BUSEY.

The commenter to [correctly] identify this alternative celebrity will receive an item from the prize list.

Prize List
1st: A Chili's Gift Card for $25
2nd: A $25 Shell Gas Card
3rd: The Chance to Be In a Party Pic with the alt celeb of your choice
4th: 6 lines of blow
5th: A Ticket to see the Justice Reunion show in 2015
6th: 10000 square yards of fabric from American Apparel
7th: A personal email from Carles about how meaningful your life is
8th: A Tugjob from an intoxicated alternative broad at the next BlowUpSF
9-50: A party for you and 6 coworkers at Cinespace, with a few specials on well drinks
51+: An invitation to a party in 2007 that was fueled by Sparks

GOOD LUCK! NO CHEATING!

Coachella Quizzin'


1. How many meaningful tugjobs were administered in this trailer by Postal Service fans?
a) 0
b) less than 5
c) between 5 and 10
d) more than 10
e) more than 500


2. How many tugjobs were administered to Philadelphia-based DJs inside of this trailer?
a) 0
b) less than 5
c) between 5 and 10
d) more than 10
e) more than 500


3. What are the odds that HIPSTER RUNOFF will make a beastiality joke about this picture?
a) Very Unlikely
b) Unlikely
c) not sure
d) Likely
e) Very Unlikely
f) P0ST M0RE BEASTIALITY


4. M.I.A.
A) HOT
B) NOT


5) If I got a carving in my hair, it would say:
a) HYPE
b) P.Y.T.
c) BNGR
d) [HIGHLY RECCD]
e) Blog
f) He Hate Me


6. If I saw Johnny Depp at a music festival, I would tell him,
a) "Dude. I cried at the end of Blow."
b) Make a joke about WAYNESTOCK.
c) Ask him if he ever railed Liv Tyler or Alicia Silverstone
d) Give him a lil tug
e) ask if you could purchase some of his treasure-based accessories from him


7. If I ran into this group of spectators at Coachella, I would
a) ask them for directions to a Dippin Dots stand
b) ask them if they knew were I could get some LSD
c) get out my alternative celebrity autograph book
d) ask how much it would cost to be involved in the orgy they are having later that night.


8. If these girls were your daughters, you would
a) be proud of them for discovering their alternative personalities
b) ask them to do a better job with their monthly fashion budget.
c) Encourage them to join a sorority
d) send their picture to HIPSTERRUNOFF because you think they might be the female equivalent of alternative bros
e) try convincing them that you are in the Ed Banger crew, and tell them you have an album coming out in late 2008

[More Coachella Coverage at Mark Hunter Photography]

SO ME: I hope that guy gets at least 50% of Ed Banger's profits

I'm sure every one is familiar with So Me. He's the dude who does the ART for all things Ed Banger. So whether it's the breakthrough video for "D.A.N.C.E." or the "DVNO" video, it's pretty evident that So Me's a pretty effective artist.

Anyways, maybe you had heard about his studio show in Toronto.

Here's a picture of So Me between two portraits of Ed Banger Records' most popular act, JUSTICE.

Some could argue that SO ME is the best party & concert flier-maker of our generation

I'm one of the most critical people in the world, but is it safe to say that SO ME's work is extremely visually and conceptually satisfying?

He even made a tattoo for Uffie

Sometimes I wonder if SO ME should leave Ed Banger Records, and work for only Fortune 500 companies.

As demonstrated by the video made for Justice's "DVNO," his corporate identity skills are second to none.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_XzCR2MbrU&hl=en]

And remember that time Kanye West had SO ME make a video for him after Kanye got really into Justice & Daft Punk?

SO ME: Better Than Warhol?
SO ME: Will he ever leave Ed Banger test the market as a free agent?
SO ME: Should Pixar offer him a lifetime contract?
SO ME: Are you happy that he's not just teaching After Effects classes at an Art College?
SO ME: Will he ever make an animated pornography scene?
SO ME: Should the United Nations enact a law that only lets SO ME make graphic tshirts for the next decade?

View More Pictures from the SO ME Gallery Show in Toronto here
http://pregnantgoldfish.wordpress.com/2008/03/20/how-many-busy-ps-can-you-fit-in-one-room/


xx BONUS SO ME gif xx

Ready 2 Uff on UFFIE?


1. Is Uffie better as a brunette?
2. Should Uffie show more rib cage and less nip?
3. Who would you rather take home to meet your mother: Uffie or Cory Kennedy?
4. More importantly, which one would have an easier time explaining to your parents what exactly they do?

xx BONUS cmmnt worth blogging about xx

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Uffie Nip Video Surfaces":

uffie kinda looks like that cute freshman who hung out with/fucked a lot of senior guys. only now she's a senior and not so cute, and nobody really wants to fuck her, so she resorts to wearing ugly shirts that reveal her sub-mediocre breasts for attention.

<3 <3 <3 Objectifying Artists Who Brand Themselves as Lolitas <3 <3 <3

Uffie on myspace
http://www.myspace.com/uffie

Uffie Nip Video Surfaces

I'm sure every one remembers the infamous UFFIE NIP PHOTOS by the CBRSNK.

Fortunately, a video from that same night has surfaced:

[This video may not be viewable in your RSS reader.]

Uffie really comes across as a seasoned veteran when it comes to being interviewed for videos that were made to be embedded on blogs and magazine websites. Do you think she'll ever release an album? Or will she just be 'that lolita who had a few singles, but probably partied 2 much to ever make an album.' Kind of like the Anna Kournikova of Ed Banger artists.

Is Uffie HOT or NOT? Maybe some one can make a hot or not page with Uffie's picture, and we can all find out. I'll send some one 10 Free Frosty coupons from Wendy's if they do that.

xx Side Note xx

What do you know about that Married To The MOB t-shirt/'we design crap' company?

I just know that they had UFFIE model for them, and had the Cobrasnake take pictures, so their target market is probably ___________.

All I've really seen is this hilarious video that really goes way too in-depth about the psychology behind designing graphic tees.

!! NIP ALERT !!

After Uffie put bandaids over her nipples at that one show with Steve Aoki, we all knew that tape-over-nips was going to be Big in 2k8.


[Photos by OhSnapKid]

Spotted (NIPS)


Uffie without bandaids covering her nipples.


Wes Anderson's favourite old lady, Angelica Houston.


Owen Wilson--Recovering from his latest suicide attempt.

[THANKS COBRASNAKE]

Great Debates of Modern Times

Are you ever up late wondering who has the best bangs in the music world?

Feist?

Cat Power?

Uffie?

Nelly Furtado?

Lisa Loeb?

Some one else?

2008 will be dedicated to settling the Great Bang Debate.

THIS VIDEO IS SO HARD THAT IT'S NSFW

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8uNZofg1Pos&rel=1]
Remember 2007? Things were a lot better back then. I watch this video over and over, and wish I could go back to when a shirtless Asian man was able to captivate the entire world. Kind of like Garth Brooks in his prime, except Steve Aoki a DJ.

2007: We'll never forget you.

FAKE NUDES: big in 2008?

There's nothing wrong with a sweet, high-resolution photo. This one of St. Vincent (aka Annie Clark) makes her look like a buzzworthy musician, and more importantly, an interesting human being.

Do you think people ever take into consideration 'how would this look if some one made a fake nude out of this?'

Here is the top search result for FAKE NUDES. It's a blog with a bunch of fake n00dz.
http://www.awmcraft.com/

Here's a NSFW fake nude of Tina Fey. (click 2 enlarge)



I think 2008 is going to be all about fake nudes of indie stars. Feist nudes. St. Vincent Nudes. Glass Candy nudes. Uffie nudes.

Notable Moment in 2007: REMEMBER THE MEG WHITE SEX TAPE?

St. Vincent

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

St. Vincent is Annie Clark. She plays the guitar and writes deep songs that go on for a really long time.

Read more>>>>

TEEN VIDEO cranks out new round of nasty remixes for the Blogosphere

Have you heard of TEEN VIDEO? Is he a DJ, a remixer, a freelance artist, or "bubblegum flavored self-annihilation"? You Be the Judge.


According to TEEN VIDEO's myspace, he is the internet. the gays. al qaeda. ADHD. vancouver. new york city.
I think he is definitely somewhere between ADHD and the internet.

Check out his HASH STASH remix of JT's "Lovestoned." It is right up there with the Junkie XL Small Room Remix of "What Goes Around" when it comes to Timberlake Remixes. After Timberlake's HBO special and MTV VMAs overexposure, I'm sure we'd all like a little bit more REMIXED Timberlake in our lives'.

Overall, I enjoy Teen Video's work way moreso than most remixes of the highly blogged-about tracks, and I'm looking forward to seeing what he'll mix next. PalmsOut blogged about him, too.

MP3: Justin Timberlake - Love Stoned (TEEN VIDEO Hash Stash)
MP3: Justice Ft. Uffie - The Party (TEEN VIDEO REMIX)
MP3: Justin Timberlake - What Goes Around Comes Around (Junkie XL Small Room Remix)

Check out Teen Video's Myspace.

NSFW: Bloghouse sex icon Uffie comes out of retirement, releases new+slutwave music video

</embed> Uffie is some blog house rapper on Ed Banger Records, the home of the popular banger DJ duo Justice. Back during the blog house era, Uffie was a 'sex icon' as a sexy autotune rapper. Some say that she was the inspiration behind some of the most successful slutwave acts such as Ke$ha, Rihanna and Feist. Uffie seems to be 'trying to make a come back', but I am not sure if any1 cares any more. Seems like the music scene has evolved, but maybe she has a 'strong following' in Europe. She released a new music video for the song "Difficult." Sorta let down by the video. Of course I knew the song was going to be subpar, but I was hoping that it would at least have a sexy music video that figured some nice looking juggs bouncing around. Unfortunately, it is just a concept art video that isn't rlly interesting / has no climax. Feel all like 'yawn' as I watch this, tuned out, like my wife of 25 years is telling me another boring story. Is this song 'terrible'? Is Uffie 'beyond over'? Can bloghouse legends survive in the modern indiesphere? Do u wish Uffie tried a lil bit harder 2 ride the slutwave? Do u wish bands stopped trying to be all artsy and just made videos that were overtly sexual/violent 2 make fans happy? Is Uffie still sexie? Do yall miss the era where Uffie just showed off her gargonzolas all the time? [link] Miss u [link]

Uffie

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Uffie is a French bloghouse rapper who is known for hanging out with her titties out.

Read more>>>>

Pharrell produces track for Uffie’s new album, boring, unsexy video 4 song emerges

</embed>

Uffie has got to be 'mad pissed' that Ke$ha basically 'stole her gimmick' of autotune rapping with a constipated voice about topics like 'getting drunk', 'getting crunk', and 'pretending to be more than just a slut, even tho u like to have sex with tons of guys.' Feel like they are trying to teach new lessons to an entire new generation of 'future dumb sluts who act a fool' of the entire world.

I think Uffie is 'trying to break out of her bloghouse roots', making a product that can 'chart' in the top 10 if she is 'sexy' enough and the music doesn't drive fans away. Not sure if she has what it takes. Feel like she could maybe get more famous if she talked shit about Lady Gaga + Ke$ha + M.I.A. Maybe she could do well in Europe though, since things are 'mad weird' over there and they listen to weird, crappy 'house music.'

Not sure if this video is even 'any good.' It seems sort of lost trying to chase the mainstream hip hop aesthetic, but then going back to the classic Ed Banger comic art cartoon worlds for no real reason, probably just to say 'look at this cool shit.' Song sounds sorta entry level, like Pharrell trying to write a Will.I.Am-esque uplifting banger.

Do yall like ADD SUV? Does Uffie have 'mad skills' on the mic?
Are yall tired of songs by white girls/Justin Biebers that have a random famous black rapper in them?
Can Uffie 'crossover'?
Will Uffie become more famous than Lady Gaga / Madonna / Ke$ha / Feist / Zooey Deschanel?
Has Pharrell Williams lost his magic, or is he just giving mediocre artists his worst beats?
Should Lady Uffie 'show more of her sweet bod' and say more controversial stuff to 'get more attention'?

Uffie

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Uffie is a French bloghouse rapper who is known for hanging out with her titties out.

Read more>>>>

Uffie’s album cover doesn’t show off her sweet bod, seems doomed 2 fail.


Women in music are often evaluated based on 'how hot' they are OR based on how much of their body they are willing to share with us. It seems like you have to 'give daddy a little bit of eye candy' in order to be a successful female in the music industry. Unless you are one of those second rate females who just wants to be liked by a limited number of people, seeking out 'artistic credibility.'

The album cover to Uffie's new album "Sex Dreams and Denim Jeans" seems to be 'forgettable.' Like she possibly shoulda tried to 'sex it up' if she really wanted to 'crossover' into new American mainstream markets. Feel like there are a lot of good pictures of her breasts + ass floating around, so maybe she shoulda just photoshopped those into a collage, or something. Maybe a picture of her having sex in denim jeans, sorta trying to integrate the album title brand into the equation.

In addition, she recorded a song with Pharrell, trying to 'crossover' or something.

</embed>

Seems like some sort of failed Brittney Spears song.

Do u think Uffie is 'pissed' that Ke$ha stole her autotune gimmick?
Are Ke$ha's songs better than Uffie's?
Do u think Uffie will integrate nicely with the post-Lady Gaga era where mainstreamers want weirdo electro by blonde girls?
Has the post-LadyGaga bubble already burst?
Did Uffie 'miss' her opportunity 2 go mainstream?
Is Uffie stuck living in a bloghouse?

Uffie

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Uffie is a French bloghouse rapper who is known for hanging out with her titties out.

Read more>>>>
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