Unchill AZN bro
NSFW: Unchill AZN Bro returns with a nippy slippy
By Carles on 18 Apr 2013Photos by the cobrasnake

Unchill AZN Bro.
Where have u been?
Vibes have been kinda soothed without u around
I 4got who u were
in a way, maybe I 4got who I was
but there u r
slippin
fallin
u can't get up
(enough cloth 2 cover ur nip)

Oh Unchilly
I remember u used 2 be everywhere
U used to kill the vibe
back when every1 wanted 2 chill
but now what does every1 want?
Maybe in a way, u've gone mnstrm
U were once a thought leader
but now all the tweens are slippin, nippin, trippin
Unchill
AZN BRO

Do u know if alt even still exists?
What r u now?
Does ur employer match ur 401k?
What's it all 4, Unchill AZN Bro?
Tell me what it's all 4. :-(
READ MORE UNCHILL AZN BRO COVERAGE

Unchill AZN Bro
Alternative CelebrityUnchill AZN Bro is known in LA as "BJ Panda Bear." He is a relevant nightlife celeb.
Unchill AZN Bro got the Miley Cyrus haircut.
By Carles on 25 Oct 2012Photo via UnchillAznBlog

You might remember Unchill AZN Bro.
You might remember Miley Cyrus.
You might remember Miley Cyrus's new haircut.
What if I told u that Unchill AZN Bro got Miley Cyrus's new haircut?

Oh Unchilly...
U had to go and ruin another good thing again
Miley's haircut was so fresh and pure.
(even though it ripped ppl off)
Why did u have 2 go and Unchill on this haircut?
Plz just chill
I miss the days of chill
sometimes it feels like u made everything unchill
unsoothing vibes 4 all
even Miley Cyrus haircuts.
Sigh.....

You might remember Unchill AZN Bro.
You might remember Miley Cyrus.
You might remember Miley Cyrus's new haircut.
What if I told u that Unchill AZN Bro got Miley Cyrus's new haircut?

WHOA!

You might remember Unchill AZN Bro.
You might remember Miley Cyrus.
You might remember Miley Cyrus's new haircut.
What if I told u that Unchill AZN Bro got Miley Cyrus's new haircut?


You might remember Unchill AZN Bro.
You might remember Miley Cyrus.
You might remember Miley Cyrus's new haircut.
What if I told u that Unchill AZN Bro got Miley Cyrus's new haircut?

Siiigh
So unchill.
Just leave it alone.
Leave it alone, Unchill Brozn
Sigh.
PREVIOUSLY
Re-live the magic of Unchill AZN Bro

Unchill AZN Bro
Alternative CelebrityUnchill AZN Bro is known in LA as "BJ Panda Bear." He is a relevant nightlife celeb.
Unchill AZN Bro wants to get back in spotlight, has Lana Del Rey lips
By Carles on 01 Feb 2012Photo via BJ Panda Bear

Dude
Unchill AZN Bro...
Cmon bro.
Not like this
PANDA EFFING DEL REY
r u kidding me?
This is a really difficult time for all of us
The Lana Del Rey album buzz lifecycle is closing
and now u go and get plastic surgery to try to keep her buzz going
piggybacking ur buzz off her buzz?
This is too much, Unchill BJ Panda Bear
More like Unchill LDR Panda Bear
Ugh.
New Lips.
Ugh
I srsly don't know what my site is going to do without premium LDR content
and now u go and make a traveshamockery out of the LDReport
I mean, ur lips seems chill
but I just don't know any more
This is the end of an era.
So can u plz chill out
and let us all vibe in peace
instead of harshing the eff out of us?
EFF
God Bless.
Unchill AZN Bro
Alternative CelebrityUnchill AZN Bro is known in LA as "BJ Panda Bear." He is a relevant nightlife celeb.
Lana Del Rey
Alternative Celebrity, BuzzbandLana Del Rey is a hot female indie singer. She is 'mad controversial.'
Unchill AZN Bro spotted canoodling with unknown monkey
By Carles on 03 Jan 2012
Hi Unchill AZN Bro...
How've u been. It sure has been a long time, hasn't it?
It's good 2 know ur still the same...
Hella Unchill...
But at the same time...
Why r u still so unchill?
I thought u would have learned by now...
just to chill out.
who is that bro?
A monkey?
That's chill
The monkey seems like he knows how 2 vibe out
But ur kinda harshing his vibes
Why don't u just leave him alone?
Maybe bring him a banana
He can just hang out, vibe on the banana
Just like he's in the jungle
Oh Unchilly...
U always know how 2 harsh every1's vibes
It doesn't matter if the being is a human
or an animal
or an alien
Ur unchillness transcends it all, bb!
Unchill After All
Will Unchill AZN Bro 'get more chill' in 2k12?
Or will he only get unchiller?
Unchill AZN Bro
Alternative CelebrityUnchill AZN Bro is known in LA as "BJ Panda Bear." He is a relevant nightlife celeb.
Unchill AZN Bro enjoys a chill moment on a relevant NYC rooftop. Is his vibe chill now?
By Carles on 30 Sep 2011
I need a break from the LA scene
I love Hollyweird...
But maybe I will be chiller
if I go 2 the City
It's chill up here on a rooftop
BBQing some ribs, pork, tofu
I love the City
it makes me chiller
Stopping in Times Square
at tons of relevant franchises
Sbarro, BuildaBear, the Pinkberry Emporium
Maybe it is time 4 me to take over the Big Apple
and enter a new phase in my life
LA was eating us alive
The scene was hollow
///////and we partied until the sun came up and went down
Enjoying a casual breakfast
The morning after

Denny's
I feel chill in this city
Chill
Chill
Chill me out
AC unit
plz chill me down

You†h is Was†ed on †he You†h
You†h is Was†ed on †he You†h
You†h is Was†ed on †he You†h
You†h is Was†ed on †he You†h

You†h is Was†ed on †he You†h
You†h is Was†ed on †he You†h
You†h is Was†ed on †he You†h
You†h is Was†ed on †he You†h
You†h is Was†ed on †he You†h
I am on a rooftop

I am chill
****DISCLAIMER: Unchill AZN Bro is still actually very unchill.******
Unchill AZN Bro
Alternative CelebrityUnchill AZN Bro is known in LA as "BJ Panda Bear." He is a relevant nightlife celeb.
Unchill AZN Bro launches buzzband, performs IN THE NUDE
By Carles on 30 Jun 2011
Unchill...
Cmon bro....
Cmon....
Bro...
Cmon...
Bro........

Bro.........
r u nakey?
Put some pants on!
Ur dad's business associates are coming over!
Cmon bro.
Bro........

What does ur buzzband sound like?
bro....
I miss HUNFUCKED
BJ Panda Bear and Nico from BJ Panda Bear on Vimeo.
This 1 too
Hep Cat by BJ Panda Bear & Nico from BJ Panda Bear on Vimeo.
Oh Unchilly...
U nvr stop
No longer a human meme
U r a human content farm
Does he look good, bb?
What do u think his buzzband sounds like?
Unchill AZN Bro
Alternative CelebrityUnchill AZN Bro is known in LA as "BJ Panda Bear." He is a relevant nightlife celeb.
Unchill AZN Bro misses u....
By Carles on 23 Jun 2011
Hi
I miss u
Yes
U
U reading this blog rite now...
Why r u still here?
U still vibe 2 this blog?
I'm kinda over it....
Really getting over the scene.
Might move 2 Marfa, TX
Live on a meaningful art commune or something
Who even likes blogspots n e more these days?
Kinda lamestream 2 b honest.........
Just wanna discnnct & learn who I am again
Who knows...
The truth is that I'm Unchill AZN Bro...
And I miss u
I miss us
What happened 2 us, bb?
bb....what happened 2 us?
Unchill AZN Bro
Alternative CelebrityUnchill AZN Bro is known in LA as "BJ Panda Bear." He is a relevant nightlife celeb.
Unchill AZN Bro hits the gym, takes boxing lessons. Will he kick Carles' ass?
By Carles on 06 May 2011
Unchill AZN Bro is an unchill bro who is AZN who has captured the imagination of HRO readers on a weekly basis... But you'll never guess where he took his act to this week. No, not a relevant night club, but he hit the gym! To do a full body workout... I guess it might be time for Carles to hire a body guard to protect him from an impending assassination attempt...
Should Carles be worried?
Do u <3 'hitting the gym' [via the mainstreamer]?
Is Manny Pacquaio the chillest of AZN bros?

Do u 'follow' boxing?
Is boxing an 'alt sport'?
Does he look good, bb?
Who would win in a fight, ______ or Unchill AZN Bro?
Unchill AZN Bro
Alternative CelebrityUnchill AZN Bro is known in LA as "BJ Panda Bear." He is a relevant nightlife celeb.
Unchill AZN Bro and Bebe Zeva spotted canoodling in I Am Carles shirts
By Carles on 29 Apr 2011
Bebe Zeva is the beloved model of the now-defunct I Am Carles brand. Unchill AZN Bro is a 'HRO staple', as we follow his alt escapades on a daily basis. Many ask the question, 'Is Unchill AZNBro chill or unchill?' It seems as if he is one step closer to winning the hearts of HRO Readers over after canoodling with Bebe Zeva.
Do u think they make a keut couple?
In BJ Panda Bear's blog post 2 Carles, they write a sincere letter of gratitude to Carles, declaring their love, but also demanding fair treatment and <3-biased coverage.
To Carles... we love you
be nice too us
we love you
It seems as if both of them have a 'love-hate' relationship with HIPSTER RUNOFF and specifically the blogger Carles, who may or may not be a heatless cyberbully.
Are Bebe Zeva and Unchill AZN Bro a 'new power couple'?
Who looks better in an I Am Carles shirt?
Is Carles 'mean' to Unchill AZN Bro/Bebe Zeva?
Will there be a Royal Alt Wedding between these 2 love birds?
Will the I Am Carles brand ever 'recover'/'relaunch'?
Is Unchill AZN Bro the 'frontrunner' to being the next I Am Carles model?
Bebe Zeva
Alternative CelebrityBebe Zeva is a model for the I AM CARLES brand.
Unchill AZN Bro
Alternative CelebrityUnchill AZN Bro is known in LA as "BJ Panda Bear." He is a relevant nightlife celeb.
Unchill AZN Bro spotted canoodling with Alice Glass... :'-(
By Carles on 22 Apr 2011
Alice...
How could u do this to me?
U know we have a history
and I've really, really liked u for a long, long time
This just hurts
He's just...
just so unchill...
I don't even know what to say
It's always so confusing when guys with flawed personality types get the hot girls
I wish they had chill values
I wish they liked guys who knew how to treat them with chillicity and chillness
Instead, they always fall for the same Unchill Guys...

Then they come to me for a chill shoulder to cry on when it doesn't work out.
Go ahead Alice...
U go ahead and canoodle with UnChill AZN Bro
But u remember...
I loved u first
and I will ALWAY love u more
<3 Carles
"I wish u were my canoodle buddy."
-to the tune of Best Coast's "Boyfriend"
Unchill AZN Bro
Alternative CelebrityUnchill AZN Bro is known in LA as "BJ Panda Bear." He is a relevant nightlife celeb.
Alice Glass
Alternative CelebrityAlice Glass is the lead singer of Crystal Castles. She is known for her KrAzY onStAgE aNtiCs.
Read more>>>>Unchill AZN Bro takes a dip in the pool at a relevant Coachella pool party
By Carles on 19 Apr 2011
Hi Unchilly
How've u been, bb?
It was nice seeing u at Coachella
The weather was so hottt
but fortunately
the pool was so cool
Are you still unchill
or have u chilled out a bit?
Swim, swim, swim bb...
Don't try to be a hero
Use ur floatie sticks to stay above water
Will u quit splashing and cannonballing, bro?
We're just trying to swim, cool off
Why do u keep splashing?
This is the least chill pool sesh ever :-(
Some things never change...
Oh Unchill AZN Bro...
Can u please just let us vibe out in the pool?
PLEASE DRY OFF BEFORE YOU GO BACK IN THE HOUSE
Some Unchillies never learn...
Oh Unchill AZN Bro...
Ur so AZN, and so so Unchill...
Did u see Unchill AZN Bro at a relevant Coachella pool party?
Was he chill?
Do u miss him?
Does he harsh ur vibe?
Do u h8 ppl who 'showboat' in pools and make 2 much ruckus?
Is Unchill AZN Bro actually a chill bro IRL?
Unchill AZN Bro
Alternative CelebrityUnchill AZN Bro is known in LA as "BJ Panda Bear." He is a relevant nightlife celeb.
Unchill AZN Bro wears mad unchill child predator glasses
By Carles on 04 Feb 2011
Hi Unchill AZN Bro
I miss u in 2k11
R u still unchill
or have u kinda gotten a lil bit more chill?
Based on ur child predator glasses
Riding Eli Cash waves
maybe zoning out on mescaline all day
Always wanting 2 be a Tenenbaum

I wanna get 2 know u again.
Did u start a new buzzband?
These bros look pretty hella unchill

I hope ur okay
I'm trying 2 be chiller
We all are.
Nvr give up on 2mrrw
Nvr give up
Do yall miss Unchill AZN Bro in 2k11?
Do u think child predator glasses will 'come back' in 2k11?
R u more or less chill than u were in 2k10?
Has the blizzard chilled out all of us?
PS: I miss u Nico.

Unchill AZN Bro
Alternative CelebrityUnchill AZN Bro is known in LA as "BJ Panda Bear." He is a relevant nightlife celeb.
Unchill AZN Bro wears Unchill tube top
By Carles on 08 Jan 2011
With outfits like this 1
How can Unchill AZN Bro
Not return in 2k11?
Vibing out
tubetop style
Wearing a military hat
vibing out with his bros

U know M Bison
[via Street Fighter 2]
That bro was mad hard 2 beat

Vega Sagat
Blanka
Ryu Ken Guile
Ur costume
looks kinda like
a 'mashup'
of E Honda and M Bison
That's chill
[via nostalgic images of youth]

Should Unchill AZN Bro 'return' in 2k11?
Who was the most authentic Street Fighter 2 character?
Was Street Fighter 'more authentic' than Mortal Kombat?
Unchill AZN Bro
Alternative CelebrityUnchill AZN Bro is known in LA as "BJ Panda Bear." He is a relevant nightlife celeb.
Unchill AZN Bro in his most unchill costume yet, ruins chill vibes
By Carles on 03 Dec 2010
What the eff
srsly what the eff

What is that thing
srsly
what the eff unchll azn br
fuck
'losing it'
U ruined my birthday
U had a 'cake fight' with the cake my mom made 4 me

This is it
U r so proud

U ruined my chill vibes
U ruined my life
Is it time 2 retire Unchill AZN bro, or does his unchillness never cease to that ur chill vibes?
Unchill AZN Bro
Alternative CelebrityUnchill AZN Bro is known in LA as "BJ Panda Bear." He is a relevant nightlife celeb.
Unchill AZN bro gets his nipples pierced [via Janet Jackson Super Bowl meme]
By Carles on 12 Nov 2010
So u got ur nipples pierced?
That's chill
Lets ppl know that ur DTF
which may or may not be chill
Surprised that u went with such intense nipple rings
Sorta remind me of the Janet Jackson vibe
from the Super Bowl
when Justin Timberlake rape gazed her

That's sorta like the most unchill moment
in mainstream TV history
really makes sense that ur re-implementing that brand
getting ur Janet Jackson on
Every1 was all scared of tits back then
but it rlly changed our society
maybe ur opening up a portal to the future
challenging us
re-shaping social norms
Maybe u know exactly what ur doing
Maybe society is unchill
and u must use reverse unchill psychology to make society learn how 2 chill
Sometimes I don't even know the difference between chill and unchill any more

Do u <3 Janet Jackson's tittie?
Would u ever get a Janet Jackson nipple piercing?
Should Unchill AZN bro get 'mad buff' like Janet Jackson?
Is Janet Jackson the most talented Jackson?

Do u think Unchill AZN bro should still to riding the curtain wave?

Do yall know what Unchill AZN bro was 4 Halloween?
By Carles on 05 Nov 2010
What was Unchill AZN bro 4 Halloween?
a) UnChill AZN Bro
b) Chill AZN Broad
c) Geisha slutwaver
d) Yoko "UnChill" Ono
e) An Unchill 'Chinaman'
f) An Unchill Terrorist
g) A relevant member of the LA Partie Scene?
h) A Chill bro
i) A tuggable broad
j) A QT pie
k) An ethnicwave buzzband
l) Carles
m) HRO HALLOWEEN COSTUME CONTEST
n) Jeff Bridges
o) Oliver Sim
p) Romy from the XX
q) Jamie XX
r) That guy in that band
s) Parez Hiltons
t) Zooey Deschanel's areolas
u) Saddam Hussein
v) Osama Bin Ladden
w) Jewel
x) Feist
y) Rob Thomas
z) Choose Ur Own Response
Can Unchill AZN Bro 'be some1' 4 Halloween, or is every day kinda like Halloween 4 him evry nite of the year?
Unchill AZN bro wears an Unchill Slinky Hat
By Carles on 29 Oct 2010
Hi
u got a lil hat on?
What is that?
A slinky?
Used 2 have 1 of those when I was a kid
Sorta weird how it has evolved in2 some sort of fashion trend
I remember that every1 used to love a slinky
But now I wonder
Does every1 <3 an unchill?
Does every1 harsh an unchill bro?
U bought the new Panda Bear limited edition action figure?
That's chill.
I got the Avey crocodile
Ya... Noah kinda let me down.

Anyways I better go
It's Halloween
I might be u 4 Halloween
if I feel like being unchill.
R u going to be Unchill AZN Bro for Halloween?
How will u make ur costume?
Do u just need to buy big baggy clothes and shred them up 2 be Unchill AZN Bro?
NSFW: Unchill AZN bro fondles some golden titties
By Carles on 22 Oct 2010
Hi unchill azn bro
How r u?
That's chill
I guess
Oh damn
I see something in ur hand.
What is that?
Is that a tittie?
A tittie covered in gold?
The perfect alternative breast
Have we found it?
Is this it?
#golden_tittie
The golden tittie
cupped in ur hand
Worried that ur gonna mess it up
and prevent me from appreciating it
Maybe the Unchill Azn Bro was put on this earth
as a perf alt breast hunter
Maybe he can be a chill bro
Probs not though
Pissed @ him for ruining this picture
Just wanted to see some alt tit in gold paint
But then u just get unchill vibes
and ur like 'I wish my hand was where his hand is'
Cupping a golden tittie
perhaps suckling golden milk from it at the end of the night
Sad
Empty
Should be vibing out hard to the golden tittie
But I guess it isn't going to work out
Do u think this is the perfect alternative breast?
Do u want a golden peen / vag / teet?
Do u still vibe to unchill azn bro?
Do u h8 him?
R u hornie?
Unchill AZN Bro
Alternative CelebrityUnchill AZN Bro is known in LA as "BJ Panda Bear." He is a relevant nightlife celeb.
Unchill AZN bro jimmy jangles the tambourine, gets in2 basketball brawl
By Carles on 15 Oct 2010
Hi Unchill
I see u jimmy jangling a lil tambourine
just like my girl Zooey Deschanny [link]
That's keut.
Whatevz
Still kinda unchill
But not as unchill as when we started playing a game of pickup basketball
And u and ur army of unchill azn bros got kinda aggressive
started cheating, fouling all the time, talking mad shit
ruining the purity of the game, kinda like how LeBron James ruined it
Yall started fighting

Was really unchill
We just wanted to ball
but u turned this in2 'mixed martial arts'
Why'd u do this 2 us?

One of ur bros even 'karate kicked' 1 of my bros
Don't mean to make this some sort of racial stereotype
But srsly. Karate kicked my ass

Not sure why u had to spoil the game
We just wanted to have a chill time and hoop it up
reconnect with nostalgic images of youth
wearing retro jerseys
But then u and ur team of UnChill AZN Bros really effed things up
Kinda like Ron Artest except way less chill.
Thnx a lot unchill azn bros
Please don't come back 2 our metaphorical basketball courts
unless u learn 2 play the game
the_right_way
the_chill_way
Unchill AZN Bro stars in the new video 4 slutwave songstress Ke$ha
By Carles on 08 Oct 2010
I spy
with my lil eye
some1 so unchill
In this Where's Waldo-esque music video
littered with tons of ppl dressed all outlandishly
I see u
I see u
I spy ur ass
One unchill azn
One unchill azn bro
There u r
1:08
hopping up and down
feeling free
Don't understand why you weren't 'featured' in this video
and instead were sort of just a 'background' face
Producers really 'effed up'
Instead, we only have a single moment of brilliance

So much slutwave dancing
slutwave lyrics
slutwave humans to distract us
But that 1 moment
I see u
I've found u
Ur so unchill
Is Unchill AZN bro a slutwave artist?
R u tired of Unchill AZN bro?
Did he ruin the vibes of this music video?
Will UnChill AZN Bro crossover and shake his ass in rap videos?
Is UnChill AZN Bro still unchill, or is he chill now?
Do yall remember the time Unchill AZN Bro was in Uffie's "Pop the Glock" Music video?
'hey'

Unchill AZN Bro
Alternative CelebrityUnchill AZN Bro is known in LA as "BJ Panda Bear." He is a relevant nightlife celeb.
Unchill AZN Bro is 'too alt' 2 smoke cigarettes like a normal chill bro
By Carles on 01 Oct 2010
Hi again
How r u?
Ur smoking some ciggs or what?
That's kewl
Ya cancer's bullshit
Just like diabetes
U can only get them if they run in ur family
but mainly blacks and mexis get 'the sugar'
Yeah
Better safe than sorry
u don't wanna get diseases
Yeah cigarette holder is a good idea
No more herpes
Seems rlly alt
might order 1

Okay kewl
Yes, ur unique and zany
Yea ur unchill
Virginia Slims menthols
kewl
god i gotta go
srsly have to run some errands
stop ruining vibes
bummed for the rest of the day
existential unchill crisis
I get it dude
Stop posting on my blog
Get off my blog.
Srsly tired of this bullshit
not funny anymore
goddammit
trapped
hi
bye

we are family
i've got all my unchills and me
Unchill AZN Bro
Alternative CelebrityUnchill AZN Bro is known in LA as "BJ Panda Bear." He is a relevant nightlife celeb.
Unchill AZN bro keeps his VIP wristbands on to prove he is more relevant than U
By Carles on 24 Sep 2010
Hi Unchill AZN Bro
How r u?
What'd u do last night?
Oh that's kewl
hit up some relevant events
I went to those events too
Oh shit. u were VIP?
Yeah, I was just in the crowd with the masses
Yeah, just watched the show with a few bros, paid for a few beers
I get it, ur more relevant than me
Yes, I see ur wristbands
Yes, they are pretty. So many colors
Yeah, I know that afterparty was impossible to get in2
I don't care any more, okay? I went to the show, had a good time
Yes, there is usually free alcohol in VIP
I'm usually chill, but ur gonna have to stop
Plz just take off ur wristbands
Why are you still wearing them? They are like 5 days old
I get it, ur relevant, ur important
but I had a chill time at those events, now I can't stop thinking abt how u were VIP
and I was stuck with all of the goddamn alt peons
Really thought I had a good night
but now I realize
how unfair 'VIP status' can be.
Do u get pissed when some1 unchill has 'VIP status' then 'throws it in ur face'?
Just wish I had a Nico +1

Unchill AZN Bro
Alternative CelebrityUnchill AZN Bro is known in LA as "BJ Panda Bear." He is a relevant nightlife celeb.
Unchill AZN bro ruins chill game of foosball, wears child predator glasses.
By Carles on 17 Sep 2010
Hi
u look kinda unchill again
wearing child predator glasses
inspiring Chris Hansen vibes
That's chill I guess
Possibly unchill
Who am I 2 judge?
I am not the God of Chill.
Only God can judge u/me/every1 we know
Only God knows who is chill nor unchill
Not trying to play 'Chill God'
I am a firm believer in divine chilltervention
But n e ways,
decided to go ahead and judge u
Just wanted to play a chill game of foosball
against u and Nico

But once again, u kinda ruined it.
You kept reaching on the table
making a 'little man' run around with 2 of ur fingers
kicking the ball
trying to cheat
I still won
but it was kinda annoying
I am all about the chill purity of the game
Not rlly all abt 'cheating' hard
Things got unchill when u got on the table
and did a sexie photo shoot
Wanted to play against some1 else
but the table was 'occupied.'
Tried 2 be a bro
Come 2 ur show
Check out my gurl Nico
Be supportive

Wish yall would take ur career more srsly
Act a lil bit more profesh

But maybe I'm asking 4 too much
Maybe I should just quit kidding myself
and remember that u r
the Unchill AZN bro
Only God can ________ me
Do yall think this bro is chill or unchill?
Would u play foosball with him?
Do u miss Nico?
Are child predator glasses still relevant?
Perez Hilton blogged about UnChill AZN Bro being unchill in 2009
By Carles on 10 Sep 2010
On May 14, 2009, the popular celeb gossip homosexual blog "Perez Hilton" posted a picture of Kelly Osbourne. He did not highlight Kelly. Instead, he focused on some AZN in a very tight onesie/jumpsuit. He drew arrows pointing to the AZN. The blogger wrote
Uhmmm….
Where the hell did Kelly Osbourne's friend get that outfit???
A male jupmsuit! WTF???
We need one right now! Ha!
Where can we get one????
Osbourne, her pal, and her bf were spotted outside LA club Bardot last night.
Not even joking! Must. Have. Jumpsuit.
Always thought the ALT REPORT had invented the UnChill AZN Bro
But it seems like
unchill vibes
existed long before
the very first Unchill AZN bro post [link]

Ruining so many chill vibes
4 so long
thought he only ruined my chill vibes
I feel kinda like a buzzband has gone mainstream
except I was 'so stupid'
that the buzzband that I thought was 'underground'
was mnstrm the whole time
Just want a jumpsuit
that shows off my bulge/cock/weiner
Miss the glory days of unchill azn bro
Miss when he belonged 2 me
Really just coming to terms with the fact that people existed b4 I met them
H8 how life works that way
Wish I could have witnessed Unchill AZN bro since he was birthed
witnessing his uncanny ability to ruin chill vibes at any age
in any scenario
against all odds
ruining chill vibes since 19__
Is Perez Hilton more alt than the ALT REPORT?
Do mainstreamers get the difference between 'chill' and 'unchill'?
Is 'chillness' due to heredity or is it a learned trait?
R u tired of Unchill AZN Bro?
Who do yall like more, Kelly Osbourne or Nico?
Who invented Unchill AZN Bro?
Should Unchill AZN Bros mom/dad get credit/blamed for their unchill bro?
Or should bloggers 'take credit' for unchill vibe perpetuation + exposure?
Unchill AZN Bro
Alternative CelebrityUnchill AZN Bro is known in LA as "BJ Panda Bear." He is a relevant nightlife celeb.
UnChill AZN Bro purchases disposable camera, captures 'the moment' in an unchill way
By Carles on 03 Sep 2010
Not sure what ur trying 2 do bro
Just vibing out with my bros
But then u should up
with a gddmn disposb
How r u so unchill?
Wish u'd just vibe out with some digital photography
maybe buy a low-end point and shoot
or a DSLR
Feel like even a polaroid would be chill
Dear Lord
Jesus Christ
Sweet Mother Mary of God
Pray for us Chill Bros
Now
and at the hour of our death
Wish u'd just drink a cold brewski with us
but I guess ur too sophisticated in an unchill way
Bros who 'can't just drink a beer'
are so intensely unchill

Just need a mini bottle
of Sutter Home wine
Want to be a cultured wine connoisseur

Our UnChill AZN BRO, Who art in unchill vibes
Unchill be Thy Name;
Thy chillness come,
Thy torn sweater be done,
on Chill as it is in Bro Alt heaven.
Give us this Chill our daily chillwave mp3,
and forgive us our unchill vibe harshers,
as we forgive those who unchill against us;
and lead us not into unchillness,
but deliver us from unchill azns & miscellaneous unchill people, places & ideas. Amen.

If u stick ur tongue to an Unchill AZN bro
Do u get stuck 2 him 4ever?
[via sticking ur tongue to a frozen pole in winter?]
Are bros who 'dont drink brew dogs' unchill?
Do u drink wine at bars?
Is 'drinking wine at bars' for moms?
Unchill AZN Bro
Alternative CelebrityUnchill AZN Bro is known in LA as "BJ Panda Bear." He is a relevant nightlife celeb.
VIDEO: Unchill AZN Bro showcases mad vocals, sings spooky MP3 in front of a haunted house
By Carles on 27 Aug 2010
Unchill AZN bro
gettin his sing on
with his girl Nico
banging on some sort of xylophone / glockenspiel / MIDI controller
Haunted House in the background
Just another house in suburbia
Neighbors are pissed
Waking every1 up
Distracting every1 from '2 and a Half Men' re-runs on Nick @ Nite
HEP CAT
HEE-ee-EE-EEE-P CAT
dun dun DUN dun DUN
You-ooo-OOOH
You need to share me with the werld
You can't have me tew yerself
mad vocal stylings
Bjork-wave vocals
Showing range
Sounding like some sort of Joanna Newsom-wave artist
with a weirdo voice
except ur an AZN bro
Heard u got a new 'vintage' microphone for ur live gig

So unchill
so azn
so unbro
This gimmick srsly 'ruins my week' every week
Blog content 'swirls down the shitter'
as Unchill AZN bro gets more 'buzz' for his band
Not sure abt ur new microphone
Is it 'vintage'?
Do u want to be 'just like Buddie Hollie [via Weezer]]?
Does this style of microphone better fit ur voice/personal brand?

Still unsure about getting hunfucked.
Need to hunfuck my hep cat
confused
haunted houses
Gonna just get buzzed

Gnite world
Chill vibes are dead.
R I P
Unchill AZN Bro
Alternative CelebrityUnchill AZN Bro is known in LA as "BJ Panda Bear." He is a relevant nightlife celeb.
EXCLUSIVE VIDEO: Unchill AZN bro explains his personal style / outlandish brand
By Carles on 20 Aug 2010
Starting 2 get 2 know u, Unchill AZN Bro
For a long time, I just thought u were unchill
but I didn't ask myself 'Why?'
What made u become so unchill?
Why is ur personal brand so outrageous?
Really listening 2 u.
Asking u questions
Picking ur brain
Getting to know abt U/ur personal brand
U inspire me
This post writes itself [via U]
"I have the lowest self-esteem and in a way dressing rlly loud is a way to get out of my shell."
"People try to put me down, say I am a narcisit.'
"I went to private school...had to add bondage"
"I made it"
"Shredding, industrial"
"I recently wore duct tape in a strip tease"
"I was originally an art major but I sort of got into sociology because with all of these alcoholic little children running around, I thought, 'How can I study them?'"
"Belt from when I was in karate."
"wearing high pants like Steve Urkel."
"Hat by Lady Gaga dude."
"I don't really thrift--I go hunting."
"I just can't stand being around things that look too normal. I just don't want to be walking around with the masses."
Feel like it all makes sense now.
"I just can't stand being around things that look too normal. I just don't want to be walking around with the masses."
Feel like I understand.
"I just can't stand being around things that look too normal. I just don't want to be walking around with the masses."
Maybe there's a little bit of unchill AZN bro in all of us.
"I just can't stand being around things that look too normal. I just don't want to be walking around with the masses."
Every time I put on clothes, me = u = unchill azn bro
"I just can't stand being around things that look too normal. I just don't want to be walking around with the masses."
Honestly h8 the masses. H8 'norms.'
Might just wear a curtain

Do u identify with UnChill AZN bro?
Is there a lil bit of Unchill, azn, and bro inside of all of us?
What is ur personal brand like?
Do u feel like UnChill AZN Bro is a Chill bro now?
Did he teach u a lot in this video, or do u think he is more unchill than ever?
Did u change ur major? What was ur inspiration?
Unchill AZN bro's buzzband hires nude mexi twink to 'helicopter' his peen on stage, ruins chill vibes
By Carles on 13 Aug 2010
Unchill AZN bro
I know ur buzzband is doing super well
getting tons of alts across the USA singing 'hunfucked"
maybe ur even inspiring a wave of Shannon Gaga -like artists
But don't understand
why u had to hire a mexi twink
to be ur 'backup dancer'
maybe ur playing some sort of male strip club
super confused

so much brown mexi peen + ass
Can't believe he keeps twirling around his peen
like a helicopter
spinning round and round
forming a 'circle'
that represents chill vibes being hella harshed
Twinks really ruin chill vibes
because u just think about how 'meek' they are
and how they just want to be 'enslaved'
R u a slave master, Unchill AZN Bro?
Kinda just wanna vibe out with my girl Nico

maybe chill on some fun dip

Vibes seem really unchill
h8 2 say it
but 'u did it again, bro.'
Not sure why u keep doing this...
Really feel like u outdid urself
by enslaving the mexi twink
and making him helicopter his peen on stage
Not sure how u keep doing it
But damn...
Seems like ur melting the polar ice caps
global warming chill vibes
thinning the chill zone layer
Environmental crisis
So unchill.
Unchill AZN Bro
Alternative CelebrityUnchill AZN Bro is known in LA as "BJ Panda Bear." He is a relevant nightlife celeb.
EXCLUSIVE VIDEO: Unchill AZN bro’s buzzband has band practice, debuts song
By Carles on 06 Aug 2010Unchill AZN bro
we're watching u
as closely as we watch a rising buzzband
not sure if we are 'choosing 2 watch u'
or if u just keep ruining chill vibes
so we can't really turn away
Have been hearing tons of noise about your buzzband
having shows in relevant art spaces
in the greater Los Angeles area
with some girl
Ya I know ur all hornie 2nite
Have been wondering 'what do they sound like?'
Like Crystal Castles?
Like Lady Gaga?
Like electroclash rave music?
Like The Eagles?

Glad we finally have answers
Hunny...
let's get hunfucked
Not sure what ur singing about.
Seems unchill, just talking about shaven pussies
over some drumbeats
Would be 'mad pissed' to hear this in 'da club'
when I am trying to listen to some Usher ft. Will.I.Am
(let's get hunfucked)
Just trying to interpret the lyrics
Who is hunny?
What is hunfucking?
What is the song about?
The state of the modern relationship between 2 young adults?
I know ur going to the bars
to get a little pussy
a shaven one
Trying to figure so much out right now
mind blown
Just want to attend 'band practice'
have a cold beer, get buzzed
talk over some fruity loops/garage band drum beats
(Let's get hunfucked)
Do u want to see UnChill AZN bro perform 'live'?
Do yall know what 'hunfucking' is?
Will Unchill AZN Bro release mp3s [via bandcamp]?
Have u seen Unchill AZN bro's band perform live?
Do they have 'mad rhymes' or are their 'weak rhymes' ruining ur chill vibes?
Should they sample nostalgic sounds of the 80s to ride chillwaves?
Is Unchill AZN bro's new band going to 'blow up'?
Are they ur new faves?
Will they replace the XX as the #1 gay-ish band in the world?
HUN
Fuck Me
Unchill AZN Bro
Alternative CelebrityUnchill AZN Bro is known in LA as "BJ Panda Bear." He is a relevant nightlife celeb.














