Two of my biggest fears in life include:

• finding out my life was “just a meme”
• dying in a plane crash

The plane went down. I closed my eyes, and turned on my iPod. I started listening 2 the song “Young Folks” by Peter Bjorn and John to remind me of a time when ‘everything was okay.’ I was ready to leave the Earth.

I was calmed by the Scandinavian whistling as the plane shot towards God’s Earth. Down… Downer… Whistling… Downest. Splash. Whistling…. Crash. Boom. Whistles. Calm…. [the lyrics to Young Folks].

The descent was similar to the popular Disney ride SPLASH MOUNTAIN. We chilled in the river and the old people who booked the emergency exit seats ‘for more leg room’ were unable to open the doors. I was anxious because I wasn’t sitting near an exit and had 2 wait a long time 2 get out of the plane. Felt like I deserved to ‘live’ more than most of the other ppl on the plane.

We exited the plane in a chill fashion. The flight attendants gave us complimentary beverages and peanuts/pretzels for us to eat while we chilled on flotation devices/exit ramps. I also received a lifetime of free flights from US Airways to any where in the continental United States (I can no longer sue the airline upon receipt of this gift).

Immediately after the crash, I sent my parents a text message that said “I’m Okay.” They are very familiar with this text message, because I have sent it to them after numerous international tragedies. It is important to let people know that you are “safe” after any sort of tragedy happens. Even if u don’t live in the same city, it’s just good 2 communicate.

Let the world know that you are okay [via text message], [via twitter], and [via facebook status message]. Be proud to be alive. Be proud to b part of a worldwide social network that travels faster than mainstream journalists. It’s good 2 be alive,yall.

In the year 2k9, I renewed my lease on life. I will not ‘off myself’ in 2k9.
In 2k9, I will try to be ‘a lil bit more gonzo.’